Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

[5FeetOfWater]

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

I've seen this a lot on a busy park and ride bus...none of the mums prepared to fold, massive queue for it, they can clearly see there is going to be too many buggies on it and they all cram on to it.....then you have to wait at the end for them to all get off. That's why people get annoyed.

My kids were born in the 70s. We had buggies you could fold one handed so you had baby in one arm, undid the clip on the buggy and it folded down, you then did a clip to hold it all together so you could lift it onto the bus. Generally someone would offer to life the buggy on for you. It was no hassle, no big deal, it took seconds. I struggle to even fold my GCs buggies and they all seem to have weird hard to find ways to fold them and when they are folded they weigh a ton.

My DC are 19 and 21 and spaces on buses for wheelchairs /pushchairs were just being bought in. I did walk most places (didnt drive) but it did open up a bit more where i could get to for a change.
I had 2 local train stations and used to walk to the farthest one because the nearest one had steps, whereas the other one you could walk over the line.

Folding a double buggy with a baby and a toddler and bags of shopping is not practicle and in the long rung probably took up more room than when the shopping and little ones safetly contained in push chair. rather than taking up seats and floor space or most of the luggage rack space etc (my double buggy had huge basket )

YoJesse, I wasn't isolated or tied to the kitchen sink, too busy with a job and a baby and a toddler but could still manage the bus.

And back in the day...they may have had buses that were crap, but that doesn't mean they were chained to the kitchen sink and were bad mothers . Come on now, they did what they could. And don't forget this was the era when women thought they had it all and mostly worked very quickly after giving birth, they didn't have the luxury of year long maternity leave and tanks weren't for sale!!!!

So don't bash what you consider to be the old. It wasn't that long ago!!!

Then surely you can see how these advances could have made it easier for you?

You still aren't entitled!!!

granny we were babies in the 70s, no idea what my mum did but she thinks all the things that exist now to make life a bit easier for parents with babies are completely fantastic. You'd get no 'well, in my day we managed perfectly well' rubbish from her, thank god.

The advanced have made it easier, but you still need to be considerate....(not you personally)

I don't think I'm entitled. I think it's an advancement in transport that makes life easier for parents, mainly women. Just like the option of a year's maternity leave.

I have a question (which I am probably going to get jumped on about, but here goes) on our buses one side of the bus has room for a wheelchair with all the special bars, bell and padded cushion to make it secure, on the other side is an area labelled as priority for buggies. If I was on the bus in the buggy area and a second wheelchair got on as courtesy I would fold my buggy but is a wheelchair allowed in the buggy space? I mean for safety reasons?

YoJesse, not sure if that was meant for me? As I was working and getting bus to nursery in rush hour I think I would still have found it easier to fold the buggy down. On busy buses even now you can't rely on their being space and if I was going to work I wouldn't want to chance being told I needed to wait for the next bus.

In reality we bought buggies we could manage easily so it was no big deal. I honestly couldn't believe it when my MIL told me how she was bullied by young women because she wanted to use the fold down seats, and as I said the bus company confirmed she had as much right to use them as the young women. She never mentioned men with buggies, don't know if they don't get on buses with buggies or if they are more considerate.

I'm always considerate. People with disabilities first then pushchairs starting with twins or tinies up to toddlers.

Once you get 3 pushchairs, the small folding kind never mind the bigger ones on our local buses then you have a problem that it is hard to get past them as they stick into the aisle. The prams are very considerate to each other and turn sideways so you can fit two in the bay, problem then is that you can not walk past easily. I've seen people who are unsteady on their feet really struggle to get past. The bus may be quiet but if there are that many prams on it then it affects people.

On a day out when I would need to use various modes of transport I would have my dd in a sling with a rucksack changing bag. Depending exactly on what I was doing I would also take my lightweight umbrella fold pushchair and only open it once I got into the city centre and was walking.

My kids aren't that old but when they were I still made sensible choices when it came to buggies....looked around for a small easily foldable one... tanks were for sale, but I knew I was going to be getting buses a lot, so got a small one...

RiverTam, and would your mother be proud if you were one of the young women abusing an 80 year old because she needed to sit in one of the fold down seats. I certainly hope not but you know her and I don't.

Not sure what all those exclamation marks were about mumz but you look furious when you use them so many nobody is entitled to spaces the op stated she was considerate but these spaces are for ease and so they should be , in my dayit was a pain in the backside to get on a bus my pram unclipped the body part then you folded the base trying to humph all that plus baby was a hassle.

I got the tiniest buggy that I could afford (second hand bugaboo) and even that was a faff to fold. I remember folding it down for a wheel chair user and he was the only person that offered to help by holding ds. Everyone else was.tutting that I should just get off as I was holding everyone up!

Nobody is abusing old ladies fecking hell the op asked her to move

MrsJayy, I think most of us used to use fold down buggies on buses not take a pram. I agree if you wanted to take a pram it would have been a nightmare, my pram would have completely blocked the bus but was brilliant if you were going somewhere you could walk, you could take most of your belongings in it. Look at the old films of refugees, they would have bedding, pots and pans and granny on the pram.

Irony thar the man needing the space helping you eh yojesse

YoJesse, I find the modern buggies hard to fold, the ones in the 70s you could do one handed and when you got off the bus they were just opened when you undid the clip. I don't know why they have made them so hard now. That isn't a step forward for sure.

My buggy was just as cumbersome granny i have a disabilty i wasnt able to fold and carry

He just seemed like the only nice person on the bus Mrs jay. Everyone else was going to explode with passive aggression