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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

324 replies

5FeetOfWater · 05/11/2016 09:44

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

OP posts:
Iusedtobecarmen · 08/11/2016 15:26

Ok so what should i have done if got two toddlers who i need to take xmas shopping in a busy city centre. Cant take a stroller so need heavy duty big pushchair to also put shopping in. Have no one to mind dc and dont drive?
And as for learning to drive?why do i have to? Isnt it better to use public transport?!who are buses for then?peiple with no dc or small foldable buggies. What about old ladies with trollies that bang into your legs?!

NoSunNoMoon · 08/11/2016 15:29

What about old ladies with trollies that bang into your legs?!

Ageist shite.

ghostspirit · 08/11/2016 15:40

Ok what about people with shopping trolleys.

luse have everything home delivered and never leave the houseWink

Iusedtobecarmen · 08/11/2016 15:44

Ageist lol. Im making a point. Shouldnt they just have bags too to save cluttering up the aisles..
To be honest im moore annoyed with smelly or drink people on the bus,than large pushchairs

Artandco · 08/11/2016 16:26

Online delivery

kipkipkip · 08/11/2016 16:33

I prefer to support local small business and shop at the greengrocers, butchers, independent clothes stores etc that don't deliver.

Artandco · 08/11/2016 16:34

All those places can deliver if they choose

kipkipkip · 08/11/2016 16:37

Oh right how do I make them CHOOSE to deliver? Maybe I'll tell them what an ordeal it is for everyone when I don't fold my buggy on a half empty bus.

Artandco · 08/11/2016 16:39

Well you don't, I'm sayingmany many independent stores do have an option to order online. Maybe not that particular one, but most. So yes when I had a newborn and 1 year old I chose an independent local butcher that delivered over another that didn't.

kipkipkip · 08/11/2016 16:41

How wonderful for you.

Artandco · 08/11/2016 16:44

Well seems like it, I'm not the one who has the issue of the buses palava.

kipkipkip · 08/11/2016 16:46

Yes but you do seem to have an issue seeing things from other people's perspective though don't you.

Artandco · 08/11/2016 17:15

No, I have an issue with people complaining things are difficult when they have chosen the most difficult route and an easier option is there. Anyway, you don't agree, that's fine.

kipkipkip · 08/11/2016 17:23

"Just carry two nappies!"
"I bottle feed and my baby has reflux and often has diarrhoea"
"Whatever"

"Just online shop!"
"But I like to use my local shops and they don't deliver"
"Oh that's a shame mine do"

Yeah that's really seeing things from someone else's perspective.

Basicbrown · 08/11/2016 17:59

Well seems like it, I'm not the one who has the issue of the buses palava

I tend to disagree. You have more issue with it and investment in it than anyone else. Have you ever heard of the saying 'live and let live'? Someone doesn't fold a buggy on a bus cos it's slightly easier not to ShockShockShockShock. Why does it matter? Why does folding a freaking buggy make you a better and more wholesome mother? Well done, you are a better mother than the op Wink

PickledCauliflower · 08/11/2016 18:13

I think the general problem is that there are more prams than spaces. I don't know any way around this, as they won't put more buses on the road etc if it will kill profits. It's all about profit as these companies are private and not state run.

Lules · 08/11/2016 18:19

Ooh today I saw some proper entitled bus behaviour. A woman on a (university run) bus complained loudly about students having the temerity to be on a bus doing nothing worse than coming home after a lecture and talking about group theory. Which just goes to show there's no pleasing some people.

ghostspirit · 08/11/2016 20:50

In a nut shell I think. Fold buggy or get of for disabled needing the space. Also fold if your taking your child out of the buggy. As that's unfair on others needing the space.

People should not have to order things on line just to avoid buses unless they want to.

NickyEds · 09/11/2016 08:49

I agree with hetero, there does seem to be a bit of a 'in my day we managed with a stream to wash in and a cart to ride on and only then if no one else wanted to ride on it!!!'attitude on some of there threads!

I get on buses very regularly and have a double buggy. I never fold it down as me, the two dc and the collapsed buggy take up more space than with it up and the dc in it! We often go out for the day, so set off at 9.30 and don't get home until tea time so, unlike some others on here I prefer to take the main buggy (not a fold away)and have some things with me- nappies, wipes, sippy cups, water, two changes of clothes, a blanket each etc because it is more convenient for me and makes my life much easier. Now I could :
-take the told away buggy and the sling. We walked about 11 miles on Saturday so this would be a total pita, but possible.
-not bother with clothes changes (so that I can carry one of the toddlers)and risk having to abandon the day/buy new clothe whilst out.

  • Buy water whilst out and bin empty bottles.
I could do those things but why the hell would I when there is space on buses for buggies!

YANBU op, if there's a buggy space you should use it without feeling like you're in the way. I usually go on reasonably quiet buses and have only had a problem once when a lady was sat in the buggy zone on a bus with 4 other passengers and I asked her to move. She had a good old grumble about 'mothers of today' and 'tank buggies' but in reality she had to move less than one metre into another free seat so I didn't care. Most people are absolutely fine about buggies being on buses, or if they're not they keep it to themselves. If a bus is busy I would expect people to try and accomodate me and my buggy, just like I would try and accomodate someone with a large bag, or shopping or a dog......you know, to be nice.

ZoeTurtle · 09/11/2016 08:53

Sorry but not taking at least a spare outfit is unprepared.

Bit different to your epic list of mostly unnecessary items...

teenyrabbit · 09/11/2016 13:12

Ah yes everything I listed is unnecessary... For you maybe.

Not everyone is the same and it makes you no better than me because you only carry a nappy and think teethers are unnecessary

FleurThomas · 09/11/2016 13:15

Kipkipkip- love watching her do it because it's the first lady who I've ever seen even bother with it. Plus I get to hold the baby sometimes so that's always a bonus.

longestlurkerever · 09/11/2016 13:38

This thread has descended into farce. No, the OP does not need to arrange her whole life in order to appease some tutters on a bus. There is always an alternative to taking a buggy on a bus. But there is no reason on earth why the OP should feel bad about rejecting those alternatives.

Pisssssedofff · 09/11/2016 14:55

teenyrabbit wait til she's 13, tethers come in very handy - for you - to stop you biting your tongue off

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