Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

[5FeetOfWater]

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

Also it's just occurred to me- even if you could fold down the pram or buggy, where would you put it? There just isn't anywhere. Hmmm.

Yes francis but op is talking about a half empty bus, and I'm sure if push came to shove shed fold the bloody thing - but why would you bother if you didn't actually need to?!

You're inconveniencing yourself and everyone else in the bus waiting for you to do it and sit down so it can get going again!

Why is nobody understanding that if there is free space for your pram - YOU DONT NEED TO FOLD IT

if there is not space, or you need to move for a wheelchair then fold it, other than that, why on earth would you do it for the sake of it?!

Im on crutches, only 2 people have ever had the arse ache about me needing a priority seat.
A sulky manspreader (in the end I practically sat on his knee to get him to move) and a woman with a tank pram taking up 4 seats. She had the fold ups covered with the tank and had sat in the priority seats with her toddler sprawled out. I had to ask her to move her toddler, it was a busy bus and you'd have thought the world as going to end because I asked for one of her 4 seats. Next time if I'm confronted by something similar, of course I'm going to worry about it happening again, or worse.
As usual it's one or two thoughtless people that ruin it for everyone else.

YANBU.

It's just that the people tutting have probably had bad experiences with other mums with buggies, and are taking it out on you.

FWIW, I found back carrying a toddler much easier on public transport. I could take her off if it was a long journey, stand and keep her on if it was short, and never worry about buggy spaces. Nappies, wipes, snacks etc in a cross-body bag with an adjustable strap that could fit over both of us.

All - a small pram will fit by your feet in seat

I definitely think wheelchairs have priority but these are spaces for pushchairs and should be used as such if no wheelchair on. I've attempted folding myself when baby was newborn, then a big baby, then a newly walking toddler.. totally impossible with most pushchairs now as both hands needed. I don't get the ire when there are spaces meant for them. It's a relief now DS is 2.5 so I can use a very basic lightweight one and he can stand and wait for me to fold. Last thing parents need are judgey, unhelpful comments..

The Yorkshire buses I get tend to move off so quick that once you're on board, how are you meant to unload your shopping from the buggy and make sure it doesn't roll across the floor, unstrap baby, hold baby while you collapse buggy, find somewhere to stow buggy, then sit down? On the occasion I've attempted to board a full bus with the pushchair I've been told it's full and waited for the next one. No problem. To take up a space for a wheelchair user would be terrible but the vast majority of people wouldn't do that.

I guess the issue is, untill the bus arrives you can't presume there is space for you with a buggy, so you aren't prepared... and then people think you look entitled...Its when there is no room, ie two other buggies already or seats full of disabled people and people don't fold buggies up but expect disabled people to move, that other passengers get fed up.

Absolutely if the bus is empty, then I don't think anyone has a problem with people using the space at the front

Mums used to have to walk miles, or struggle on buses with young children, babies and a small buggy. They had no choice.
Spaces for prams are a good thing. Buses have been changed to meet the needs of mothers.
But some individuals are awful. My friend who uses a wheelchair and can not walk at all, refuses to try and use buses after being stuck at bus stops for along time while bus after bus goes by with mothers who refuse to fold down their prams so she can get on. I know it can be hard work and hassle. But she has no alternative but to use a wheelchair space.

I don't mind folding my pram down but our local busses have done away with the space to place luggage and folded up pushchairs

I rarely use buses or trains anymore but as a teenager I would give up a seat for anyone who looked like they needed more than I did. That may be because they are elderly, disabled, pregnant, have poor balance or a small child in tow etc.

And let's not forget. New mums can often feel lonely, emotional and isolated as it is with out strangers passing comments

Aww - you keep sling under pram if you can't fold pram with baby in arms. Then baby out, in sling. Hands free to fold pram and get on bus

I do wonder how half the world gets through life if such a mountain of an issue is involved over how to get on and off a bus with child! How do you solve actual problems?

I probably was from their day it was a bloody faffy taking a pram on the bus i couldnt manage it on my own the bus spaces came about when dd2 was a baby and it was bloody brilliant . Yanbu pram spaces are for exactly that prams why should you faff about folding and what not the pram is safer up right meh to the moaners

Awwlookatmybabyspider. So are you never prepared to fold your pram? Have you bought a pram that can't fold easily??? Did you not test it out? Their day may have long gone, but you still need to be considerate to disabled people or the old surely. Would you not be prepared to fold your pram down if a person in a wheelchair needed to get on, or an old person who can't stand too long to wait for the next bus....

I remember others helping when I took a pram on board buses with a baby. Strangers helped as I couldn't do it myself.

OP yanbu

On a half empty bus, they're just being grumpy

I think these days of easy access, people just aren't used to having to fold buggies, and often they don't fold very small. In the days before buses were accessible people knew they had to fold so wouldn't have the kitchen sink stored in the buggy, would fold while waiting for the bus, and buggies seemed to fold smaller, probably it was a key selling point in a way it isn't really anymore

There are inconsiderate people with buggies, inconsiderate people with shopping trolleys, inconsiderate people with disabilities, and inconsiderate able bodied people. But if someone isn't being an inconsiderate entitled selfish twat they shouldn't be treated like one

bratsy you are right people walked with prams because they had too the buses were not that acccesible (sp) and the moaning mums got from passengers trying to get on a bus with baby/pram/bags wasn't worth the hassle.

I think the answer is, if you are getting a bus that you know to be usually quiet and empty, no problem in presuming you can push pram on and sit in pram space, but if you are getting on a busy bus and if you know this to be usually the case, surely you need to be prepared to fold BEFORE you get on and prepared to move for disabled or the old.....it's annoying when it's a busy bus and lots of people having to stand whilst a Mum sits there with a baby in a tank,taking up spaces...

Modern buses have very limited storage space. It's therefore sensible to use the wheelchair or fold down seats spaces unless they are required by a wheelchair user or someone who requires priority seating (the fold down seats aren't generally marked as priority seating, presumably because they face sideways and are bloody uncomfortable).

The storage space is also very shallow and it can be difficult to safely stow a buggy or other piece of luggage.

My MIL used to use the fold down seats. She had a hip replacement that didn't go well and had bad pain in her hip, she said the fold down seats were smaller than the other seats and as she was quite short she found them more comfortable. As time went on she also had a walker and it was easier/safer for her to sit there with her walker. She got alot of abuse off young mothers. In the end the bus company gave her a letter she could show that stated that adults with a buggy had no priority to use that area of the bus.

I was disgusted that young women could be so abusive to an 80 year old who had difficulty walking. Bullies the lot of them.

Oh YANBU!
All this 'back in my day' bollocks drives me mad. So we should all hark back to the days that made mother's lives harder and kept them isolated, chained to the kitchen sink? Just because you had to make do with an inadequate set up for public transport?

As for the just fold it argument. It's easier said than done with a baby and a ton of shopping.

Obviously any wheelchair users should have first priority.