Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

[5FeetOfWater]

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

Don't let other people feel bad. You and your child have every right to be on public transport. It sounds like you are considering other people which is more than many people do on public transport.

In London, they only allow 2 pushchairs at once on public transport unless you fold. So the only time I've ever folded my pushchair on the bus was to make room for other pushchairs or to enable me to get on.

Op do consider a sling. You could back carry. Not to stop other people moaning, but to make it easier for you.

And yes. Many using those fold down seats may also need to sit for whatever reason.

There is no way more than 2 prams or buggies would fit on the buses here without causing an obstruction

I walked quite long distances to shop or whatever and had a small&cheap fold up buggy for when I really had to use public transport.

There does seem to be a high level of entitlement among mothers with buggies when they get on the bus.

I hate mn when it is like this.
Yes it is possible (for some people) to use a sling. yes it is possible (for some people) to walk 3 miles instead. Yes it is possible (for some people) to fold the pushchair and use one seat with the toddler on your lap.

but WHY do the hatchet-faced yorkshire women of mumsnet assume that, when there may or may not be any good reason to do so, all mothers must be working at 100% to the point of pain or discomfort at all times?

If the bus is half empty (as the OP said) WHY do mothers not get to take up the opportunity for some convenience as much as anyone else?

WHY?

I struggled with transport with a baby in London. Driving is pretty much a nonstarter to many areas in London for many reasons. Carrying a heavy big baby in a sling AND all the stuff you need for the day can be really difficult, and for me was so utterly miserable that there was no point in leaving the house at all. (you can do it for a couple of hours but not for a day out.) The tube is riddled with steps and you can't use your pushchair unless you have another person to help you carry it up and down. You can walk a long way with a pushchair if you are feeling well, but you are unlikely to want to walk more than about 4 miles in any direction if you are also going to be walking back and walking around doing whatever you do when you get there. You can get taxis but they are expensive and they don't have baby seats.

These things can all be managed or worked around as exceptions, but on a day to day basis where you just want to get out and about and not feel like you are on some horrific forced march with lead weighted packs every fucking day, this is what is left:

small local journeys on foot
the bus

Why is it such a FUCKING DISASTER for some of you that some mothers don't relish being exhausted and in discomfort ALL THE FUCKING TIME?

MaudlinNamechange THANK GOD you posted that. I could feel anger bubbling up inside me reading through this thread until I got to your post and you said everything I wanted to!

WHY do the hatchet-faced yorkshire women of mumsnet assume .........

WTAF! I (a displaced Londoner) moved to Yorkshire from Hampshire and couldn't get over the friendliness of the people after 5 years of stony faced lack of service and unfriendly neighbours, in Hampshire.

FrancisCrawford - you can do that on a half empty bus. Which is what we're talking about here

Hatchet faced Yorkshire women? Eh?

Pissssssseddofff

Me too I once found a out of service bus parked up and totally confused/bemused the driver by asking if I could just have a go at getting pushchair onto his bus. It was also a double, it didn't fit due to the bar they used to have down the middle of the doorway. So, off we went to continue our six mile walk home. Never been so fit

Francis Crawford - you're not less important. You're just as important as any other bus user (unless you are in a wheelchair when you're more important but also not what the thread is about.)

Yeah, you can't find Yorkshire women....rude

Because people like to feel superior and to have a target group to complain about, and atm pram/ buggy users on buses are an easy target.
On a bus I regularly get at the weekend there is an ongoing war between people with pushchairs and people with shopping trollies. The latter group are vicious, and my goodness do they enjoy blocking prams and talking loudly and self importantly about how they have more entitlement to the space (funny that- the notices on the buses give priority to wheelchairs and approved mobility scooters, followed by prams and buggies. No mention of shopping trollies at all!).

We've all been in this same position....no one wants people with buggies/prams in any more pain than anyone else....but we've got to be considerate to others surely.....not the vast majority of Mums, folding a buggy should not be a problem

Sorry, should have read for the vast majority of Mums

Sorry but on a half empty bus why the fuck can't op get on with a pram without folding it

She's already said she would move for someone disabled

What's the point of having spaces for buggies if you're not allowed to use it?

Why are people so insistent on making their own lives harder?

All this well I would fold the pram waiting for the bus and hold the baby and 8 bags of shopping whilst juggling this that and the other - why?!?

If there's space on. A bus for a pram I will bloody well use it im not going to faff about with shopping and a wiggly baby and folding down a pram if I don't have to. It's like you're doing it so you can whinge at other people for not doing it. It's not actually benefitting you at all!

Oh and whoever said about yorkshire women, I'm from yorkshire and quite frankly if I don't have to fold my pram I bloody won't!

OP yanbu. You sound really considerate. Getting a bus with a buggy is so stressful. I don't know why but some people seem to just resent the sight of a mother with a buggy.

I usually walk for an hour rather than get the bus with buggy. I'm too inept and clumsy to fold, I'd just get off if there's no room on the bus.

If you have no other means to get about or can't use sling then you'll just have to be polite and ignore others being negative. This stage doesn't last long.

Because back in the day they folded their prams and put them into the storage bits.
The buses have now designed a pram parking space specially for push chairs so you shouldn't feel bad.
I do understand how you feel though, I felt a relief once my DD outgrew her pushchair, no more judgy looks on the bus.

YANBU - where I live (not in the UK), there are large spaces on the buses for pushchairs (fold-down seats) plus a wheelchair space. And priority seats at the front. There are often several pushchairs on the bus and nobody is asked or expected to fold theirs. Passengers move/vacate the fold-down seats to allow the pushchairs on, and I never heard anybody complain about that.

No one is being superior, they are saying that for the majority of people it isn't an issue to fold a pram. But most people won't bother even if they have no issues or disability
Maud - what an earth are you taking out with you for a baby for the day that requires so much luggage? Few nappies in handbag. Done. A sling isn't uncomfortable for most people, no one is being pressured to use one and be in pain. If you are it's likely the wrong type.

YANBU!