Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

[5FeetOfWater]

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

noeffingidea Well good for you, we didn't go out every day til we went to school.

Twice a year trip to town? Rubbish. Your family might have, but most went out daily.

I catch the train with my 2 year old. He's in a carrier on my back and I carry has nursery bag. Pain in ass as he's heavy and I'm pregnant but there's no chance I'd get on with a buggy.

Pisssssedofff - sorry re the buggies - all I know is my mum used them in the early to mid 70s on and off buses but she mostly drove...

My mum wasn't on prozac (but she looked like it sometimes!)

I know what you mean OP, unfortunately my pushchair is a bit of a tank as we live in the countryside and walk a lot, i'm lucky the buses i catch are usually very quiet (I travel at quiet times) but i do always worry incase a wheelchair user got on as I would of course vacate the space but it would take a few mins getting my 12 week old out and into the sling then removing the pushchair seat (won't fold with current seat on)
I can't have her in the sling my whole trip as i have a bad back, I can't walk to town as no paths. If anyone can recommend a small easy to fold cheap pushchair suitable for a 12 week old I'd appreciate it (she is on the small side)
I can't not get the bus either as I can't drive yet

Baby Jogger city tour
Babyzen yoyo
Mountain buggy nano

I'm not saying we didn't go to the local shops, but into town was for shoes and coats, although tbh in the 70's there was a shoe shop 20 mins walk away. You may not remember the days before shopping malls but I do. We never went on buses expect that twice a year bloody mission

Not to go shopping, but we went out daily to visit family, friends, walk in woods, visit beach, go to park, into different towns or cities to see museums, churches, castles, change of scenery, different markets etc. All by foot, bus or train. All with kids, babies, and yup, a folded pram. You might have never travelled anywhere as a child regularly, but many did, daily.

Thanks Artandco but they are more than i'd want to spend just for trips to town as my current pushchair would be my main one, plus as standard they look to be suitable from 6 months. Think i'll have to keep hoping the buses are clear until i can get her in a stroller

As I say lucky you, if we couldn't walk there we didn't go, parents could not afford bus fayre even if they'd had the inclination which they didn't

That's your family then, isn't it pissedoff? Not really to do with buggies, prams and public transport.
The fact is, it was possible to get out and about prior to buggy friendly buses. Many people did.

noeffingidea well not really otherwise all my friends would have been telling me about the amazing adventures they had on buses and they didn't

The bus I was on this morning there was a complete jam at the front due to one person with a small folding buggy and 8 people ( many of whom fairly young) with enormous shopping trollies. The shopping trollies don't fit in the seat space on this sort of bus so they were jamming up the aisle so one could get through. And obviously you can't fold a shopping trolley and put it in the luggage rack if it's full of shopping. No one seems to make a full about this though

YANBU, OP. People just love any chance to moan. You sound like a very considerate bus user. I have just started using the bus with my 11 week old in his buggy (I can't drive) and have to say I would hate to have to collapse it, whilst trying to hold on to him, as most bus drivers pay no heed to what happens to their passengers once they've paid. I would be genuinely terrified that the bus would pull off at speed as often happens (I previously had to complain about this when a bus tore off soon after I boarded, causing me, then heavily pregnant, to fall into another passenger as I hadn't yet reached a seat) and I might drop him. I think we just have to ignore people moaning. Perfectly OK so long as we remain considerate of others in genuine need.

Oh I'm never going to agree with the why don't you buy a ugly uncomfortable overly expensive and old fashioned Maclaren umbrella fold pushchair and just take a couple of nappies posters.

1. Maclaren and similar umbrella strollers are God awful. Tiny babies imo should not be in them. A small baby should be facing you. They never look comfy in there to me, for me an umbrella or forward facing stroller if for 1year olds and bigger.

1. If there's a space for my pram I'm going to use it, yes I'd move for a wheelchair user.

1. A couple of nappies?!?!?! More like 5 nappies a packet of wipes 2 x spare sets of clothes 1-2 bottles (depending on length of outing) at least one teether, 2 x muslins, nappy bags, fold up mat, hat, potentially a coat if not already wearing it, raincover for pram. I could go on. That makes for a big heavy bag. Oh and a sling to put your baby in at the bus stop even though there's potentially room to leave them in the pram

-- -- 4. Why inconvenience yourself unless you have to!

I don't get why this is even an issue. Just because some people think you should only ever use a sling or a stroller (which are shit unless you live in a perfectly tarmacked area) and struggle every time you get on a bus, doesn't mean everyone thinks it, or everyone should do it.

Yes everyone with a pram should move for a wheelchair user, if there is Soave to fold and sit with a baby, and yes if another Pram gets on then yes perhaps offer to fold if it's less hassle for you than another parent. But you shouldn't have to faff about every journey if you don't need to!

And all oh my mum managed with this perfectly well, my grandparents walked everywhere dur dur dur

Yes well my mum managed without central heating and double glazed windows - it doesn't mean I'm going to turn the boiler off and take a pane of glass back out just because she managed perfectly well without it.

Yes! She did, because she had no choice. I have a choice.

Busses have been designed to accommodate pushchairs so why not take advantage of that?

Yes. Wheelchair 1st priority, 2 buggies in the space next priority, then people standing. If there are 2 buggies there already, either fold or get off the bus. If you are complaining because you find it hard to stand and don't want to wait for the next bus, then don't just glare at the buggies, politely say "I have a disability/illness would anyone give me a seat please?"

What annoys me is perfectly able-bodied people getting on the bus and standing in the corridor. I used to do this before I knew better. If you can, GO UPSTAIRS. go to the BACK. Your inconvenience having to come back again at your stop is really mminimal compared to the work being done by a mum with toddler or similar. After travelling with babies and with my elderly father I'd never now stand aimlessly in the front.

'And all oh my mum managed with this perfectly well, my grandparents walked everywhere dur dur dur

Yes well my mum managed without central heating and double glazed windows - it doesn't mean I'm going to turn the boiler off and take a pane of glass back out just because she managed perfectly well without it.'

Exactly teenyrabbit!

Teeny - you can buy very compact parent facing pushchairs nowadays for newborns. Ie bugaboo bee. Never have I taken spare outfits, teethers, toys, etc out with me, breastfed so no bottles. So yes, 5 nappies and a small pack of travel wipes is plenty for me for a day out and fits in a handbag.

A few posters have mentioned they're a bastard to fold though.

Well good for you art but I'd rather my baby was fed and clean and not covered in sick/shit/God knows whatever else. I like to be prepared. I don't want to rush to a shop for wipes because my child's got poo up his back, I want to whip out my bag and clean him up and stick him in a clean sleepsuit immediately, I don't want to have to buy another one if/when it happens.

I'd guess a lot of people feel the same surely?!

You clearly must have an angel of a child who's nappies never explode, who isn't ever sick, doesn't ever get bored or want to chew on anything but their own fist!

I'd end up going mental if I didn't take any of that with me!

I think it is fine to leave the pram/buggy unfolded as long as you move/fold it if someone needs the space ( wheelchair or sn buggy).

rabbit 100% agree with you. I only use a sling because I just can't be arsed with the buggy/bus rage plus I have to use the bus at busy times. I agree with the back in the day my mum used to stuff to.

And I agree what another poster said about the shopping trolleys to. Some of them are not much bigger than a buggy.

You can get some umbrella buggys that parent face. I have one. But I do get what you mean though.

Their nappies never exploded! But they wore bomb proof reusable nappies so prepared before I left the house. If your baby gets shit everywhere outside nappy then surely you need to change type as it isn't doing its job.

It's nothing to do with the type of nappy. It's to do with the type of shit, and unfortunately I cannot change that or stop a baby shitting.

Sorry not everyone is as perfect as you.