MiL and SiL have upset me quite a lot. MiL (not heard from SiL) has apologies, I've said OK. I'm not sure what else they want from me, but apparently it looks like I'm sulking.
To give a bit of background, I'm quite crafty - I love sewing, knitting, etc, and in my own family we give each other lots of handmade gifts. I know not everyone appreciates homemade gifts, so I've always just kept this to my own family, unless people have directly commented or outright asked me for something
Anyway, on Friday MiL sent out a group email asking if we knew what our plans were for Christmas.
MiL and SiL then emailed each other throughout the day, but have obviously done the classic error of "reply all" instead of just replying to each other, so I (and DH and half a dozen other family members) get a whole load of emails calling me smug, hoping they wouldn't get one of my crappy homemade gifts again this year.
MiL has rung and apologised. She obviously feels bad, but I don't think it's up to me to make her feel better.
AIBU?
to not be gushing and enthusiastic about their apologies?
Shamalamalam · 01/11/2016 08:32
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh OP 
what a horrid thing they've done, although it's great that everyone on your group email has seen what they are like.
I'd suggest dignified silence on your part, but privately if anyone mentions it do let them know that MIL and SIL had requested those specific gifts from you.
Also suggest that your DH has a word with both of them and says from now on (inference is because of what they did) gifting to adults is out of the question and you'll only give presents to the children in the family and receive presents for your own children.
He can also let them know that unfortunately, you're too busy to spend any time with them this xmas. Let it hang for future years.
I think you've done the right thing, OP, thanked MIL for her apology but not downplayed the fact that it was a a hurtful and unpleasant exchange - as you say, it's not your job to alleviate her own guilt about her bad behaviour, and it's classic victim-blaming behaviour. You don't need to do anything further other than let them both stew in their own juices.
And certainly your DH should be the one buying (or making!) presents for his side of the family normally. Perhaps he could teach himself macramé between now and Christmas and make them each a nice teacosy in sludge and orange stripes. 
Was just coming on to agree with Arf. MIL sounds like she's more concerned with how she looks to everyone else on the email, and just wants you to sweep it under the carpet so they'll all forget how batch she and SIL were.
Don't feel under any obligation to make her feel better. I'm not sure I could ever 100% forgive someone who spoke about me behind my back like that 
Your gifts sound lovely and thoughtful.
TBH OP I'd cut them off, I'd be mortified and really hurt. My SIL hasn't done anything like that but she's not easy so I pick and choose when I see her, DH respects this and just goes alone with the DC to meet up with her. I wouldn't respond and I wouldn't be seeing them over Christmas or giving them any kind of gift. I would say to DH that you're done with them and that he can take the kids over for a visit on Xmas day for an hour or so and that you don't feel able to be around them right now but that might change with time. Say the same to the witches too (if the apologies/badgering continues). Surly DH can give them a voucher in their Xmas cards, something benign and as thoughtless as possible. I honestly wouldn't put up with anymore, fuck them right off and enjoy not having to put yourself through fake, festive pleasantries with them. Is even book somewhere lovely for Xmas dinner, just your DC's and DH. Let DH descend on the MIL at 8.30 on Xmas day while you get ready and enjoy a glass of bubbles ... Oooooo OP I am bloody raging on your behalf!!! 
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Oh no thats awful being gossiped about and ridiculed. I would be hurt and really miffed, people who are caught gossiping expect a lot imo mil wants you to be ok with her its not Ok. Generic crappy bath sets for christmas should send out the message to them 
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