to not be gushing and enthusiastic about their apologies?

[Shamalamalam]

MiL and SiL have upset me quite a lot. MiL (not heard from SiL) has apologies, I've said OK. I'm not sure what else they want from me, but apparently it looks like I'm sulking.

To give a bit of background, I'm quite crafty - I love sewing, knitting, etc, and in my own family we give each other lots of handmade gifts. I know not everyone appreciates homemade gifts, so I've always just kept this to my own family, unless people have directly commented or outright asked me for something

Anyway, on Friday MiL sent out a group email asking if we knew what our plans were for Christmas.

MiL and SiL then emailed each other throughout the day, but have obviously done the classic error of "reply all" instead of just replying to each other, so I (and DH and half a dozen other family members) get a whole load of emails calling me smug, hoping they wouldn't get one of my crappy homemade gifts again this year.

MiL has rung and apologised. She obviously feels bad, but I don't think it's up to me to make her feel better.

Yes, no-one wants to be 3 in the 3 for 2

iminshock riggght very helpful, not! Are you those awful pair then, you sure sound like it!

FWIW - I don't really enjoy the Christmas exchange of gifts with some of my in-laws. They never say thank you unless I make contact to say thank you for their gifts and one set go on and on about how fabulous the thing they have given is! But I'd be hopping mad if I knew they were saying things like that.

They do sound really horrible.
If I were the OP I'd be avoiding them as much as possible and I certainly wouldn't put myself out for either of them.
I don't see how anyone could forget what was said, it was mean and nasty.

Op next time go to Poundland, and get them a crappy candle, that will teach em .

Oooo yes the 3 for 2 stickers left on they will be guessing who has the free 1

I'd not be bothering with presents for them again. It would be bad enough if they'd ridiculed you for home-made gifts they hadn't asked for, but to do it for things they had asked for....
It's amazing how being pissed off and offended by someone else's crappy behaviour makes you 'sulking' and in the wrong.

Tempting thought it is to plot a revenge gift for this Christmas - therapeutic and fun too, I'm sure - you need to consider whether that would escalate the situation.

Suggest to DH that they might need some socks from primark for xmas...

Oooo yes the 3 for 2 stickers left on grin they will be guessing who has the free 1

Or something which says "Tester", "Part of a Set", or "Free Gift and "Not for Resale"

Turning it onto you is just shitty i hate when people do that just cowardly and refusing to be respinsible for themselves.

Jesus Christ, what horrible people.

For all the entertainment about bad presents, definitely never get them anything again. And think carefully about what future interaction you want with two very spiteful women who have issues with you.

In your place I'd have told my husband that he could see them alone for a while, including at Christmas, and abandoned any attempt to be more than politely civil if I had to see them. What they did was awful but would also have broken any trust I had in them.

Your presents sound amazing, by the way.

I hope it's clear that when I said 'forgive and forget' that in reality I would do neither

But I would say I had.

Maybe buy a goat in Africa for them to share.

Something good will have come out of something unpleasant.

Everyone will have seen what a nasty pair they are! Serves them right!

hoping they wouldn't get one of my crappy homemade gifts again this year.

That's terrible. Especially because they actually asked you to make them gifts. A nice woolly blanket? That's such a lovely gift. I'm terrible at arts and crafts (except embroidery, but I don't have the time for that either...) and I love homemade gifts. Even if it's something I may not particularly like/have use for, it shows that somebody put in actual work.

And no, you don't have to talk to her again. They wanted you to make these things for them. You invested time and money (not to mention that time is money...) and then this?

I must say, if I'd done something horrendous like that I wouldn't have stopped at a grovelling apology - in the interests of preserving the relationship I'd probably have asked you out for a good lunch or something, and done some more grovelling. To be as offensive as that and expect that after a quick apology everything would be absolutely back to normal is ridiculous. And MiL should really have stood over SiL till she apologised also.

To be honest, I don't really get what they want from me.

Am I supposed to write gushing statuses on FB or hang "apology accepted" bunting from my house?

MiL apologised. I said OK. It was hurtful to read, but thanks for the apology. What more am I supposed to do? I don't really get it

DH is the worlds crappest present buyer - 3 for 2 and Poundland not withstanding, they're in for a treat this year

How horrible of them.

I'd love a handmade blanket. My friends nanna knitted DD2 a lovely doll. It was the last thing she knitted before she died.

It's beautiful and DD even at three knows it's special that's it's been handmade.

Yes get DH to get them a goat because they've demonstrated they're uncharitable.

YANBU! I hate that people think they can just say sorry and everything will be ok. They've hurt your feelings and it's NOT ok! It's not up to you mil to decide how long you can be upset for, she has to wait it out and suffer in the mean time. And as for you SIL, I'd not even bother speaking to her again. There's also no way I'd be going for Christmas and I'd also be stopping the homemade biscuits from the dc. If the ils ask why, you can tell them you're protecting your dcs from being slagged off like you've been 😡.

This is not something that an apology will fix , it will take time and that's if you can be bothered - frankly I wouldn't . I'd also tell your DH that in future all cards / gifts for them are his responsibility as you are doing precisely nothing .

Oh god, how awful! That's a really horrible thing.

But you can bask in the glory of knowing that EVERYONE can now see how horrible and nasty they have been and that they will be truly and horrifically embarrassed!

It is absolutely NOT your job to make them feel better. Take the moral high ground here and don't engage in this. Oh, and please buy them a really crappy 'smellies' set from boots for 6.99.

In my mind nothing says couldnt give a shit like a box of turkish delight and/or a bayliss and harding gift set (small size). If you can get any of those with a 3 for 2 or 50% off sticker then thats a bonus