to not be gushing and enthusiastic about their apologies?

[Shamalamalam]

MiL and SiL have upset me quite a lot. MiL (not heard from SiL) has apologies, I've said OK. I'm not sure what else they want from me, but apparently it looks like I'm sulking.

To give a bit of background, I'm quite crafty - I love sewing, knitting, etc, and in my own family we give each other lots of handmade gifts. I know not everyone appreciates homemade gifts, so I've always just kept this to my own family, unless people have directly commented or outright asked me for something

Anyway, on Friday MiL sent out a group email asking if we knew what our plans were for Christmas.

MiL and SiL then emailed each other throughout the day, but have obviously done the classic error of "reply all" instead of just replying to each other, so I (and DH and half a dozen other family members) get a whole load of emails calling me smug, hoping they wouldn't get one of my crappy homemade gifts again this year.

MiL has rung and apologised. She obviously feels bad, but I don't think it's up to me to make her feel better.

I would wonder what else they'd been saying - sorry if that's not what you want to hear..

They are sorry because they got caught. MIL should be ashamed of herself. SIL u can take or leave.

You need to remain frosty and stay away from them for Christmas. I don't care if your crafts are crap that is outrageous behaviour.

I'm thinking its more a sil ganging up with mil to be the favourite maybe??

They are horrible hurtful bitches and at least you know how they really feel about you. For me there would be no coming back from that and I would be arranging my Christmas without any of them in the picture. At least you can save your time and effort in future by not giving them anything. Give your lovely gifts to people who deserve them. I would love one I always find home made gifts better than shop bought as love and thought had gone into them. They are not worthy.

How awful, I'm sorry this happened. I would write to each and say that you were really hurt and although you've forgiven them you might need a bit of time. Take the moral high ground by being polite and respectful. Ask them to make a wish list in amazon so that you can buy them something they want this year, or better still a gift from you and DP together. It's a tough one.

Don't dignify their behaviour with a response. Silence says a lot more. Buy them shop bought presents, something bland and boring, not personal and say nothing

Although like niknok69's response

mazzy

Please do this, OP.

www.buynothingday.co.uk/

No reason for you to do anything more, you accepted her apology but she can't expect you to get over her bitching about you to other people that quickly. Maybe if she doesn't like feeling like this she'll be more careful in future!

I'll be celebrating 'buy nothing day' :)

OP, what u grateful eejits! I'd adore a beautiful handmade present, think of the love, care, effort and skill that would go into any one of the gifts you made. Only a complete fool would fail to see the value in your kind gifts.

You are right to be upset...don't get them anything this Christmas!

I used to send book tokens, not money or vouchers, to suggest total lack of thought to a nephew who was completely out of control.

Buy them something not home made from a charity shop or pound shop this year.

They sound awful and I would not be spending christmas with them. I love the sound of your gifts..I think of anything like that as keepsakes so I love that sort of thing.

Dreadful behaviour!
I wonder if her comment to your dh was a rude way of sounding him out as to how pissed off you are...
I'm sure silence is the high road and all, but I'd kind of want to make dead sure everyone in that email group knew they'd specifically asked for the things you'd made. Politely, but still. That adds so much extra information, and while it would have been a crappy thing for them to do anyway, it's even worse than it looks!

How did they both reply all several times? Do you think one of them might have been doing it deliberately? Were they both equally disparaging of you, or was one of them encouraging the other to say stuff whilst not saying much herself?

Your gifts sound lovely, I wish you were in my family! I treasure homemade gifts. I still have a rag doll which my aunt made for me 40 years ago, even as a young child I could see how special it was and felt incredibly lucky to have received it.

Your in laws are a pair of bitches. I wouldn't be able to get past something like this. I'm pretty sure that my MIL and SIL talk about me behind my back but there's no actual proof, apart from the fact that they bitch about everyone else so why should I be exempt? And because I'm not like them, they think I'm a little odd (they've told my husband that much).

"we see them at Christmas and birthdays, they come and stay with us (we live in a popular holiday area). "
Ha! Not any more they don't! They can fuck off to a B&B, preferably at some other end of the country resort.

You sound lovely OP. They sound like total dicks.

How awful. I wouldn't spend Christmas with them after that. You have a good excuse not to.

Thanks all!

Sorry, had a nightmare day today and only just had a chance to sit down

I've decided that I refuse to give them any more headroom. They upset me, but fuck them.

We'll cross the Christmas bridge when we come to it.

I love homemade gifts-so much more personal. I'm making all mine too but I know my family will treasure them, as I do theirs. It's so much more work than just going online or into a shop. I think that's awful and you have every right to feel hurt. Give them all a crappy bottle of smellies and don't waste your time and dedication on them. In fact, bulk buy so they all have the same and see how they feel when you put no thought into it or better still, just don't give the ungrateful so-an'-sos anything.

Yvaine I love you.

I love you on this thread, I love you on the one about the clock.

And, I'm utterly convinced that when you said no gifts that it was delivered in the exact style of Edna Mode.

Op, I suggest that you have summer-long building works scheduled next year for whenever they suggest coming for their free holiday to visit. Then when you can't avoid them any more, let them come over and search in vain for these mythical home improvements. Months of fun

It's worth getting the subversive cross stitch book or looking here subversivecrossstitch.com/blog/. I think some handcrafted samplers with the appropriate message might hit the spot?

Sulk , sulk , sulk for as long as you wish and let them come to you - have a feeling they are going to have to eat humble pie for a good while !

OCSock you're not making yourself sound good being horrible to your own nephew whatever the reason. Perhaps you don't understand the problem and will bring nasty improve him?