to not be gushing and enthusiastic about their apologies?

[Shamalamalam]

MiL and SiL have upset me quite a lot. MiL (not heard from SiL) has apologies, I've said OK. I'm not sure what else they want from me, but apparently it looks like I'm sulking.

To give a bit of background, I'm quite crafty - I love sewing, knitting, etc, and in my own family we give each other lots of handmade gifts. I know not everyone appreciates homemade gifts, so I've always just kept this to my own family, unless people have directly commented or outright asked me for something

Anyway, on Friday MiL sent out a group email asking if we knew what our plans were for Christmas.

MiL and SiL then emailed each other throughout the day, but have obviously done the classic error of "reply all" instead of just replying to each other, so I (and DH and half a dozen other family members) get a whole load of emails calling me smug, hoping they wouldn't get one of my crappy homemade gifts again this year.

MiL has rung and apologised. She obviously feels bad, but I don't think it's up to me to make her feel better.

We were battling our way through her half term maths homework and it was hell on wheels so I made 'freak shakes' - all singing, all dancing 2000000 calorie milkshakes made from icecream, with whipped cream and a tonne of sweets, sauces, melted chocolate, etc.

Umm, I am battling through a terrible easy day at work so I need one of those freak shakes please... you can deliver it anytime... I'll be grateful and won't call you smug behind your back or to your face!

Just from now on, anytime they do mention 'oh i'd love something like that' I would just calmly and very quietly say 'oh I don't think so...' and say nothing else.

I'd feel I'd have to say something back too, though I wouldn't know what to say.

In relation to your DH buying presents for his ungrateful relatives, make sure you (that's you and him) agree a maximum budget of say £10 per gift for the adults. They don't need to know that one has been set but you will

Or thinking about it, he could by a gift from a charity organisation which means that the relatives actually get nothing themselves except a card saying that a goat or chickens have been bought for a needy family...

Is it really wrong that i would like this thread to go until Xmas and then know what the MIL/SIL response is to the rubbish that the DH will likely buy for them. I would love to know if they have the nerve to complain!

Nope!

Me too!

I love crafty stuff and if someone gives me a homemade gift it's all the more special.

I hate it when people tell you how to feel, you've done nothing wrong and are perfectly entitled to feel upset. I hate it when people who are in the wrong turn it back on you.

They don't deserve you lovely gifts.

I didn't even know what a Waldorf doll was, just googled it.

EEEEK !!! It's soooo cute!

I want one.

I also am curious as to how Christmas will pan out.

And I think MNHQ should add a freakshake emoticon!

I think a charity donation / goat / sponsorship will be the best present in the future. Accompanied by a passive-aggressive card saying that you know it's a gift that will be truly appreciated by someone.

I'm not sure sponsoring a goat sends a clear enough message.

How about sponsoring a cow instead?

Or this handy book?

For those who don't want links, here's a pic instead

op, PLEASE come back and update us at Christmas. The hive mind Remembers and will be delighted to hear from you

Sham your last post - freak shakes - shows what a lovely person you are.

It can never go away completely but I wish you and DH all the best in the world - you deserve it.

They asked for home.made then criticised? They are awful, hand made takes a lot of time and effort. Tell them to do one.
Or send them a link to Etsy to see there expensive handmade gifts!

The 'maybe they were just expecting you to give them the things rather than gifting them' excuse doesn't make any sense to me, sorry to those who suggested it. Even if that was the case, they still slagged off the items and the OP.

When it comes to Christmas just explain that you were going to give her a crappy home made gift, so decided that nothing at all was a better gift :)

op If someone made me a big snuggly blanket for my birthday/Xmas, it would easily be the best gift I've ever received, such a lovely personal gift.

I can't imagine how much time and effort you must have spent making that for your ungrateful mil.

Well, Shamalamalam, if they think you aren't 'gushing' enough - perhaps you need to gush a bit more.

Perhaps they want you to put up a big, all-singing, all-dancing status on FB, explaining exactly what happened, the requests for the home made gifts, the nasty emails, the 'apology' from MIL - and telling everyone how lucky you are that she apologised so fulsomely and how very grateful you are for the apology?!

It's a nice fantasy, at least.

Now I want a blanket, a Cunt mug and a 200000 calorie milk shake. All round yours then OP?

I'd pretend like everything was fine then on Christmas Day present both with a beautifully wrapped present containing homemade bunting spelling out the word B I T C H ;-)

Olay gift set (the advanced aging one for super old skin) and a wolf fleece each for Christmas I think. I'd be tempted to pop in some vaginal deodorant as well but that would be too blatant.

I'd be tempted to pop in some vaginal deodorant

Forget the wolf fleece and Olay products for the terribly wrinkled, just get them a range of Femfresh products. And a bumper bag of Tenalady.

I make stuff, not Facebook craft group glittery shite but patchwork quilts (using patches of clothing that have some meaning to the recipient, like baby blanket, wedding veil etc) and furnished dolls houses (miniatures of the houses people I know live in, as gifts) and I would be incredibly hurt if I was described as smug.

I enjoy doing it though and maybe I am smug because I'm cheaper and classier than Not On The High Street

I would love a sil like you shamalamalan I can't make anything! I hate when people are nasty just for the sake of being nasty and then you're being made out to be the bad guy?! That's just guilt because they know they're @£&/s!! Defo no presents at all again if it were me, and I wouldn't be in a hurry to see them again either especially at Xmas!

Don't give anything in future for Christmas - let them know you've donated to charity instead.

I'd be making this and posting it on Facebook/Instagram for the Mil & SIL to see

I would so "reply to all" saying that you thought a personal gift was far more thoughtful and you're sorry if they would prefer a pound shop voucher because that's what they'll get this year. Seriously rude and I'm sorry but I would not be able to forget and would wonder what else they say. I'm sure your gifts are lovely and I hope you continue to make them for people that matter. Xx