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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift for boyfriend was not well received

621 replies

Lottiegal · 31/10/2016 23:15

I'm divorced with three kids and have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months. Things have been going pretty well so far and he seems committed etc. At the weekend was his 40th and we had dinner etc and some drinks. I'd deliberated for ages what to get him as a gift, originally we talked about going away but we couldn't find the time work and kids etc. He's a man of discerning taste, and we share a love of Scandinavia and good design, so I bought him an Aarne Jacobsen clock (a design classic) When he received it he thanked me and said it was a cool gift so I was pleased. Today though on the phone he said he was sorry he didn't like the gift and wanted to return it. I was a bit upset to be honest but hid my emotions and said I would return it. He then joked like 'what would I do with a clock, it's really not me' I felt hurt that I'd got it so wrong, and by his reaction. I did say I was upset that he didn't like it but he seemed almost annoyed that I'd got it for him.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 01/11/2016 22:26

Ooh what a fab update! Smile

My2centsworth · 01/11/2016 22:28

Get the clock back. It is really cool. Put it up in your offices or your new business Grin

arabhorsesarebest · 01/11/2016 22:30

A straight swop an elephant cushion for a clock seems to be the perfect soltion to complete a story with a happy ending.

EnidButton · 01/11/2016 22:31

Well. This thread was a ride and a half. All 22 pages of it. The drama! Mainly from some of the posters. Made a mental note to throw in "what would I do with a clock?" during any future arguments with anyone I despise and then storm off.

I would like to see the elephant cushion.

arabhorsesarebest · 01/11/2016 22:32

I do hope all those who were so rude and unkind about your partner are as quick to apologise for jumping to incorrect conclusions and wish you both good luck for the future.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/11/2016 22:41

So ... he's a decent guy, and you made a huge drama out of nothing? Keep this thread in mind next time!

bumsexatthebingo · 01/11/2016 22:56

I stand by the fact that it's really rude to tell someone you don't like what you've bought them but it's up to the op whether it's an issue for her.
It may seem like there's been a huge drama on this thread but what has actually happened is the op sent a perfectly polite text and then had a chat with her partner about something like couples do every day!

Inertia · 01/11/2016 23:25

Glad you have resolved things between you.

If you are still considering him moving in, you'll have a lot of issues around expectations / home life / communication / 'stuff' to iron out first, because this sort of carry-on is likely to become tiresome quite quickly. If he's that particular about his home environment, then you'll need to figure in advance how your home could accommodate him.

Theladyloriana · 01/11/2016 23:36

Well glad all is well.... I still have reservations sounds like you feel the need to please him and ask permission for your emotions to be valid...

This is my take home quote of this thread:

Drama is having to listen to some whiny spoilt cock being angry that you got him the wrong present.
Grin

ChocolateWombat · 02/11/2016 07:44

Oh good, glad it's sorted. If you'd had the conversation at the start, all of the stress and drama could have been avoided.
As others have said, remember this thread next time you feel a bit agitated, take a deep breath, pause and have a cup of tea, don't reach for your phone and wait a while and then have.....a conversation. It avoids all kinds of misunderstandings.

Hope the relationship goes well and tick ticks along happily (sorry couldn't resist the last bit)

TheArneClock · 02/11/2016 07:47

All's well that ends well.

Gift for boyfriend was not well received
shovetheholly · 02/11/2016 08:40

I still think the clock is gorgeous Grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 02/11/2016 09:24

The clock keeps popping up as an advert on my FB now! Got to say it wouldn't be my choice, I prefer a more traditional look but I can see why it's a design classic.

NameChange23 · 02/11/2016 09:29

It is the "clock of doom"

hummingbirdhostage · 02/11/2016 17:27

Thank him for his honesty and bravery in overcoming normal social graces to tell you - you wouldn't want to waste your money after all. And then follow up with "with this in mind, that cushion didn't set you back too much did it?" Cheeky barstool!!

bloosn · 02/11/2016 17:32

Hmm.. I'm a bloke and I would see it first as a present from you and second as a clock.
I'd want to keep it because it was from you, regardless of my taste in clocks... It might end up in the office instead of on the mantlepiece but that's rather nice in its own way, as my office has lots of pictures and objects that I like.

Me2017 · 02/11/2016 17:40

It's important for people to try to understand each other. I am not really into presents. We don't really even give them at Chrsitmas and my birthday is just nothing much, no fuss. My children feel much the same. In other families these kinds of things are very big deals and amount spent equals love. It is just different ways that people are.

I am trying to have nothing in my house so every physical gift given is a rotten imposition and is someone saying - I do not respect your needs. I suspect I am like your boyfriend.

Doublechocolatecake · 02/11/2016 17:43

Think a clock is bit of a rubbish gift for a man, but he should've sucked it up and accepted it.

It's the thought that counts, however at least he could be honest with you. I'd rather that than pretense

Craigie · 02/11/2016 17:50

I'm pretty sure most 40 year old men (a) already have a clock, and (b) don't want "something for the house" as a 40th birthday present. I'd rather be told that my gift wasn't to the receiver's taste rather than discover he wasn't using it. YAB(a bit)U.

Heebiejeebies77 · 02/11/2016 17:57

I don't think you should ditch him just because he didn't like the clock, like some people have been suggesting! And to be fair, it's only a six month relationship. I would much rather know, even with someone I love very much, whether the present I got them was something they really wanted. If not, return and buy something together. Imagine how you'd feel if you found out he ebayed or regifted. At least next time he gives you a naff cushion, you can be upfront about disliking it, so I think you can give him and yourself a break.

Heebiejeebies77 · 02/11/2016 17:58

Sorry, came to this very late - just read it was all resolved. Lovely!

StayAChild · 02/11/2016 18:04

NameChange23

Grin at 'clock of doom'.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 02/11/2016 18:06

Bloody hell. Ok he didn't like it, but how he handled it was crap. It is hard buying presents. Personally I think getting a hint of what people want is a better idea. I've been bought presents by my long term partner I've wondered where he got the idea I'd want the item, admittedly in hard to buy for.

Bluntness100 · 02/11/2016 18:14

Lol, I'm glad it was resolved, it does sound like a serious relationship even though it's early doors and he seems like a decent guy . Good luck.

And yeah, I still don't like the clock, it was designed for a bank, so maybe that's why I see it as quite office like and a bit sterile...😃

To be fair though, if I'd have bought my husband a clock he'd be like " wtf" . 😂

Me2017 · 02/11/2016 18:16

Before I read the thread I was assuming the present was some kind of complicated sex aid or sexy costume..... so yes I suspect the boyfriend might have had more imaginative hopes than a clock.

Mind you most of us would never complain about a present we hated; that is just good manners. On the other hand if he has now been able to stop 20 yearsd of £200 presents and you save £4000 so much the better.

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