Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this offensive...

121 replies

LauLau93 · 30/10/2016 15:57

I honestly think being told I'm "TOO thin" is as hurtful as someone being told they're "TOO fat" neither are appealing or healthy.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Antifrank · 30/10/2016 15:58

I don't know. Are you a stick insect?

drinkyourmilk · 30/10/2016 16:00

I think commenting on anyone's weight, unless in a medical situation, is rude. Unless you've asjed- then expect to be told the truth. (I never ask Wink)

Original poster
LauLau93 · 30/10/2016 16:00

Haha not quite. Im a size 6 but since i gave birth a few weeks ago a couple of people have said it and it always just puts my nose out of joint a little.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 30/10/2016 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConvincingLiar · 30/10/2016 16:03

People are more likely to envy thinness, so I think it's more socially acceptable to comment on it. Too thin is definitely rude though.

icelollycraving · 30/10/2016 16:03

I'm fat. I don't comment negatively on anyone's appearance out loud.
Yanbu.

Mymothersdaughter · 30/10/2016 16:05

Yes it's rude and irritating.

Antifrank · 30/10/2016 16:07

Pah. Ignore them. In my experience those that comment on people being too thin generally are carrying a bit of timber themselves. I suggest you tell them you gorge in cream cakes constantly, but can't seem to keep it on.

Antifrank · 30/10/2016 16:07

Or alternatively ask them how they manage to remain so glowingly plump.

TheNaze73 · 30/10/2016 16:09

I think it's hugely offensive. A bit like being asked if you are a stick insect. If someone said to a larger person, well you're no stranger to the dessert trolley, they'd get the right hump

noego · 30/10/2016 16:10

Its judgemental. Even a compliment is judgemental

Ilikegin · 30/10/2016 16:10

I used to get it all the time, it wound me up too! (Size 6-8 ) I went up to a 12 and if people ever see pictures of me at my old size they will say oh you looked ill! Er no I didn't. I looked great! People are rude and think they can get away with it towards thin people but would never say that to a fat person ime! Hmm

Whatsername17 · 30/10/2016 16:11

It is as hurtful. It's different if someone is expressing concern at sudden weightloss, but unsolicited comments on weight are mean!

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 30/10/2016 16:12

I've been too thin and too fat. Funnily enough whenever I'm too fat nobody comments; when I'm too thin it's like open season for nasty comments.

(It's been a while since I could be called thin.)

I think it's rude to comment unless asked for an honest opinion.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/10/2016 16:13

I think it's the epitome of rudeness to pass comment on any aspect of someone's appearance

Original poster
LauLau93 · 30/10/2016 16:16

Thank you all for making me realise i wasn't just being over sensitive! I agree that some people seem to think because it is thin and not fat that it's ok. Also some of these comments have really made me smile! Thanks you wonderful bunch.

OP posts:
littlesallyracket · 30/10/2016 16:18

It's rude to comment negatively on anyone's appearance, in my opinion - unless you've actually asked for someone's view on the matter.

If I was genuinely worried that a friend had an eating disorder, I might say "Are you feeling OK? You don't seem your usual self and I'm a bit worried about you" or something but I wouldn't mention their size; commenting on someone's weight to raise a concern like that is often counter-productive.

icelollycraving · 30/10/2016 16:19

You've just had a baby! You could say yes, I was expecting to pile it on. Everyone knows you are supposed to bring cakes to a new mum. Head tilt.

GabsAlot · 30/10/2016 16:21

ive thought it but never said it not my place

maybe people saying it are concerned though-although its not their business

Eevee77 · 30/10/2016 16:22

Very rude.

birdybirdywoofwoof · 30/10/2016 16:24

It's rude- (unless maybe you asked them 'am I too thin?')

LittleTripToHeaven · 30/10/2016 16:26

I agree with you, OP.

When I was younger I was very slim. A healthy bmi, but too thin for my frame and I didn't look healthy.

Then, when I became pregnant, I didn't put any weight on and was sick constantly. My OH's mum and sister were both obese and used to go on at me all the time; how I'd lose the baby, how it was disgusting I was putting my own vanity above the health of the baby, how my OH wouldn't want to be with someone who was so shallow and vacuous that they cared so much about their appearance that they'd deliberately not put any weight on during pregnancy, how it showed I'd never love my child because I was too focused on my own shallow interests... you get the idea.

His sister put on 5 stone during her pregnancy and I think that, for her own reasons, she was just mightily pissed off that I hadn't.

Unless you are asked, you should never comment on another person's weight!

WhataHexIgotinto · 30/10/2016 16:27

YANBU at all. If someone is concerned for your health because you've lost a lot of weight, then they may feel they want to speak to you about it in a sensitive way. Other than that, folk should keep their mouth shut and mind their own.

Yuckky · 30/10/2016 16:29

Yanbu. It's rude.

Foxysoxy01 · 30/10/2016 16:31

I've been a size small size 6 and a size 18 (both due to medical reasons)
And I had so many stares and bitchy behind the hand comments when I was thin it was really awful!
Being an 18 I find that I'm invisible and people just tend to not want to look at me.

I am trying my hardest to get to a 10-12 both for my self esteem but also a little bit of it seeming the most socially acceptable size.