To find this offensive...

[LauLau93]

I honestly think being told I'm "TOO thin" is as hurtful as someone being told they're "TOO fat" neither are appealing or healthy.

AIBU?

[baconandeggies]

Stick insect, bean pole - not acceptable. It's not THAT unusual for someone to be naturally slim

[FlyingGaribaldi]

These thread come up all the time, and the posters generally ignore that our society views thin as good and fat as bad, so that, however, annoying you personally find the remarks (and I agree it's rude of people to comment negatively, on anyone's physical appearance), what they are actually doing is paying you the ultimate compliment by the standards of first world society which thinks you can never be too rich or too thin.

If you're a size six, you're similar in size to the kinds of bodies we see on catwalks and on the covers of magazines, so you have all that cultural approval bolstering your body type as ideal. Therefore, while absolutely nobody should be commenting negatively on your appearance, it's not the same as calling someone too fat. (In our society - in parts of the developing world, 'fat' is a major compliment, and young girls are fed up to make them fatter and hence more marriageable...)

[LadyFlumpalot]

YANBU.

I'm slim, a small size 6 and I'm constantly getting:

"Gosh, aren't you THIN!" when first meeting people.

"Put some meat on your bones then!" When I say it's a bit cold today.

"Ooooh, do you actually eat then?" If I dare to say I'm hungry/looking forward to dinner etc.

"Haha, if you turned sideways you'd disappear!"

"Are you ok? You're not STARVING yourself are you" from various people around the office.

I usually just smile vaguely and wander off as if I hadn't heard them.

[Bailey101]

So so rude! I get people thinking it's ok to look me up and down and tell me 'you're so skinny' - funnily enough they don't like when I look them up and down back and say 'you're so chunky'

[witsender]

It is rude. Only difference is that if you are rude to a fat person the majority of society and the media agrees with you, whereas be rude to a skinny one and they are on the 'side of the gods'.

[baconandeggies]

it's not the same as calling someone too fat.

Disagree strongly. It is unacceptable, hurtful and everything is relative. It doesn't matter what general culture perceives to be desirable. I didn't think "oh thanks" when ridiculed as a 'bean pole' in high school. It's not a competition FFS.

[Bailey101]

Being skinny isn't a great thing in the media anymore - what about all this 'real woman' bullshit that's everywhere these days? If you're a size 6 or have small breasts, you're basically getting told that you're not a real woman and that no mans going to want you. I'm no less of a woman because I'm slim, and I take huge offence at being told otherwise.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

I used to get this all the time. I'm bigger now so it stopped. I started being rude back.. Tell me I should eat a doughnut with a head tilt; I'd return the head tilt and say "and maybe you shouldn't". It made me feel bad but it was the only way to stop it.

[MrsJayy]

I was once told by a fat woman to have cake to put meat on my bones and she chuckled would not be hilarious if i had said you have cleary eaten enough cake for us both. Commenting on weight is so rude infact talking about weight is just dull

[EdgarAllanHo]

I did told a friend i haven't seen for a while that she was too thin. She was always skinny(size 12 at her biggest and not for long,mostly 8-10)but this was a different level of skinny.she also looked pale,with dark circles and just unhealthy,so yeah i also asked if she's ok.


And before someone asks yes i am fat.

[TheNaze73]

it's not the same as calling someone too fat

It's ridiculous comments like that, which exactly highlight the OP's point

[rawsienna]

I don't know. Are you a stick insect?

I suspect this is the kind of talk that is upsetting the OP.

Would you say to an overweight person:

'I don't know Are you an elephant?'' No.
So why call slim people stick insects? It's derogatory and makes you sound ever so slightly jealous.

[MrsJayy]

Worrying about a friend and asking if she is ok is fine. Telling somebody to have a pie not so much

[Ilovetorrentialrain]

OP I had this too after my son was born. I'm fairly slim anyway but breastfeeding made me lose weight (for about a year and a half I was a dress size smaller than before I was pregnant) and yes people commented both to my face and behind my back that I was 'too thin'. I actualy didn't like it myself (I don't think being that size suited me personally) so really hated those comments. It's rude. Why can't peope see that?

[Cocklodger]

yanbu I hate it. Size 16+ is average now, meaning people see that as 'healthy' (while tbh it generally isn't) if you're a size 10 or under you're now regarded as a stick insect/ironing board/skeleton...

[Bertucci]

I think people don't realise it's offensive.

It's often a compliment. My girlfriends and I will say 'oh, you look so skinny!' and it's definitely complimentary. Whereas we'd never say 'oh, you look so fat!'

I'd never use stick insect type remarks to anyone, though.

[AyeAmarok]

Yes, it's very rude. Because by saying you're too thin they are making a negative comment about your appearance, which is extremely rude.

Aside from which, I struggle to think of a single person I know, or even in the media, who is actually “too" thin. Most people this insult gets levelled at are just slim, and a healthy BMI.

And usually it's people who have their own weight issues who say it. Because someone being a slim, healthy size makes them feel insecure.

[originalmavis]

I used to be very skinny. I ate huge amount and drank like a sailor on shore leave but took after my tall, thin dad. I had a fat face and huge boobs do god only knows how I cod be wasting away. I wasn't that skinny - about size 8, 5 ft 8.

I was told was anorexic, bulemic, skinny... mostly by people being horrible for the sake of it.

[birdybirdywoofwoof]

I think people definitely know 'too thin' is rude.

[rawsienna]

I'm no less of a woman because I'm slim, and I take huge offence at being told otherwise.

Because a large proportion of the country is now overweight, male as well as female, the media have jumped on the bandwagon and are stirring things up.
The reality is that there will always be people who find slim people attractive and there will always be people who prefer bigger people.
Nothings changed.
So don't believe all the 'obese is the new beautiful' crap that the media tries to perpetuate.

I'm slim. I LOVE being slim. it's my natural body type.
Same as there are some women who's natural body shape is to be bigger.
Neither is preferable over the other.

[EdgarAllanHo]

MrsJayy true..that's just dickish. Especially coming from complete strangers,acquaintances.

[EdgarAllanHo]

Size 16+ is average?!?!?!?

[justinelibertine]

YANBU. I too get this, being a small six. When I got pregnant I got, "You look well.", I put on quite a bit of weight. In my mind that meant I was fat. Didn't help my anxiety much.