To find this offensive...

[LauLau93]

I honestly think being told I'm "TOO thin" is as hurtful as someone being told they're "TOO fat" neither are appealing or healthy.

AIBU?

[rawsienna]

It's often a compliment.

Maybe that's the way to go.
From now on ,if someone calls us slim girls stick insects, or whatever other insult makes them feel better about themselves, we should see it as a compliment.

I've often thought that when someone says something insulting such as 'stick insect' or 'ioning board' or 'skin and bones' is a favourite one - it says more about the person saying it than anything else.
There's always a hint of underlying jealousy.
Even if they're not jealous, using phrases like that make you sound jealous.
So don't do it.

[FlyingGaribaldi]

How is it not the same as calling someone fat?

Because, despite the fact that an individual person is intending to be rude (and I agree it's rude, as I've said), everything in our society suggests otherwise, that in fact a size six is ideal, rather than 'too thin'. The OP sees her body type on magazine covers and catwalks and playing the heroines in films, and getting a body the size of hers is the object of a multi-billion-pound diet industry which preaches body types such as hers as the ideal.

If she were being criticised by the same equally rude person for being too fat, she would have the entirety of our society from the media, the NHS, the diet and fashion industries etc etc backing up the rude person in agreeing that yes, her body is wrong and it's legitimate to criticise it or want to change it.

It doesn't alter the rudeness of the person making personal comments, but surely it's pretty obvious that there's a difference between pointing out thinness in a world that thinks that thin is good and pointing out fatness in a world where fat = unhealthy, undesirable, unself-controlled, disgusting etc etc etc even as we get fatter as a society.

[MrsJayy]

Exactly Edgar worrying and having a kind word to make sure a friend is alright is just kind.

[PuppetInParadize]

Yes, it's offensive to talk about anyone's appearance - unless you're the person's doctor, best friend (and were asked for comment), possibly in certain circs the person's mother or gran, But only in some circs IMO.

[EdgarAllanHo]

Op just reply with "no , I'm normal " or if you're in a particularly "good" mood "too thin compared to whom?"(head tilt,eyebrow raised)

[rawsienna]

everything in our society suggests otherwise, that in fact a size six is ideal,

That hasn't been the case for a couple of years now.
Model agencies employ larger models. Even the mannequins in the shops are bigger.
If anything, society is being told that being overweight is preferable to being slim.

While we're on the subject, why is it that we now have to call fat people curvy, or plus-sized, but it seems to be acceptable to call slim (a complimentary word) people by a negative word - that has unhealthy associations ie Thin.

I have no issue with referring to people as plus-sized, but surely they should return the courtesy.
If plus-sized people want us to drop the word fat from the vocab,
then surely they should stop describing slim people as thin?

[EdgarAllanHo]

How is thin a negative word with unhealthy connotations? Feeling waay out of my depth on is thread :/

[MrsJayy]

I have had periods of illness when i was underweight people who know me knew this but i did get comments about my weight it is hurtful .

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

People are rude and think they can get away with it towards thin people but would never say that to a fat person ime!

Errrrr you seriously think people don't make comments to fat people

[rawsienna]

thin is a negative word. I have only had it said to me when the person has been insulting me.

I have never had it said in relation to a compliment.

[pregnantat50]

my sister is a naturally trim person and I have a tendency towards fat, she had far more adverse comments about being too thin than I had about being podgy, even a teacher asked her if she ate anything and her nickname was thin lizzy, she hated it and it was unfair on her, she ate more than I did but I wanted her figure and super slim tum while she envied my boobs and bum....its unfair to make comments that arent asked for but I think slim people in particular find it harder to gain weight that fat people do to lose which makes it even harder on them x

[baconandeggies]

How is thin a negative word with unhealthy connotations? Feeling waay out of my depth on is thread :/

Because it's a comparative word. It implies a deviation from 'normal' in the judgey body size stakes - thin - normal - fat

[Boredbeforeievenbegan]

Yanbu, it's rude to comment on size full stop. Don't even get me started on the "real women have curves nonsense!

[rawsienna]

Going off topic, what about height?

''You're so tall'' seems to be acceptable.
'''You're so short'' deemed offensive.

[ManaFleet]

I think that telling someone they're 'too' anything is rude. The 'too' makes it a criticism.

[MrsJayy]

Im under 5ft so you can imagine the comments .

[baconandeggies]

''You're so tall'' seems to be acceptable.

Doesn't sting as much as "you're so thin", but it still makes me feel embarrassed, put on the spot, (objectified?), judged and left thinking... "And??..."

What's the point of commenting at all?

[roundaboutthetown]

In my experience, people usually reserve comments about people being thin for when they also look a bit ill or unhealthy. Otherwise, it tends to be "very slim." Referring to someone's appearance or health in any way that is negative is considered to be a bit rude, though, isn't it? There's nothing special about weight in that regard. Or would you find it acceptable for someone to say, "oh, that colour doesn't suit you," or, "your new haircut is awful," or, "you're looking a bit pasty and sweaty, today, aren't you?"

[SoozeyHoozey]

I've always enjoyed it if it's been said to me but I'm a yo yo dieter who has been told the opposite.

[AyeAmarok]

"so" is different to "too".

"Too", even when it's put with a compliment, implies a negative.

[brasty]

Yes it is. But I have also known someone with anorexia who complained that everyone who expressed concern about her extreme thinness, was just being rude. They weren't. They were worried she was going to kill herself and trying to get her to seek help.

[Icapturethecast1e]

YANBU. When people ask if you actually eat anything & even if you did you probably puke it out after. Oh yes of course I do.
And it doesn't help that your soo tall as well. Well I'm sorry I'll have to shorten myself somehow.

[SpookyPotato]

I would never say anyone is too thin or fat as yes I think both are criticisms. But I will admit I'm guilty of feeling good when someone said I was once too thin after spending most of my life overweight.. Some people think anything thin related is a compliment and so think they will be making you feel good (like it did with me!) rather than an insult. There will probably be people out there though that do use it to make people feel shit though.. safer to stay away from it all together.

[brasty]

If they are asking you seriously if you actually eat anything, it sounds as if you are dangerously thin.

[EnterFunnyNameHere]

YANBU

Also, rawsienna - you beat me to it.

I'm do fed up of total strangers commenting on my height! I don't appreciate being called a giantess by a bloke in tesco, or constantly asked "what the air is like up there"/"you should play basketball".

I don't comment on your physical appearance, leave me alone!