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AIBU?

To find this offensive...

121 replies

LauLau93 · 30/10/2016 15:57

I honestly think being told I'm "TOO thin" is as hurtful as someone being told they're "TOO fat" neither are appealing or healthy.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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T1mum3 · 31/10/2016 18:10

BTW if anyone wants to experience a bit more about what it is like to live with T1D for a day, they can sign up here

Justine - perhaps this is something you and Jamie Oliver might like to consider doing to help you understand a bit more about what people with diabetes experience every day and maybe help moderate messages about childhood diabetes a bit more effectively? (I don't think it includes other children shouting "get away diabetes" or "die dia, you ate too much sugar" but if you would like to experience this part of the day I can organise something...)

T1mum3 · 31/10/2016 18:15

Oops - wrong thread about offensive things.. ignore.

rawsienna · 31/10/2016 18:15

lljkk That's like telling anyone who has a glass of wine with dinner that they drink too much because alcoholics need telling bluntly. You can't lump everyone who's less then a certain dress size in the same category.

Exactly.
People need to wake up to the fact that not all slim people are anorexic or bullumic. Same as not all larger people are over-eaters.
I'm naturally slim.
Some people are naturally big.

Leave us alone and stop commenting.

AyeAmarok · 31/10/2016 18:17

I meant that when I see an elephant, I refuse to pretend I haven't seen an elephant. If you don't understand those words, then you know feck all about eating disorders.

Do you apply the same logic to people who are overweight? That they are fat and they " need to be told straight & not have their delusions indulged ", lest they be under the misapprehension that they are just a 16, which is average for a UK woman, rather than overweight?

mum2Bomg · 31/10/2016 18:20

Definitely rude but they probably meant it as a compliment if that helps at all x

rawsienna · 31/10/2016 18:24

I meant that when I see an elephant, I refuse to pretend I haven't seen an elephant. If you don't understand those words, then you know feck all about eating disorders.

Do you apply the same logic to people who are overweight? That they are fat and they " need to be told straight & not have their delusions indulged ", lest they be under the misapprehension that they are just a 16, which is average for a UK woman, rather than overweight?

I would like to know the answer to that as well.
Illlk. Do you think overweight people should be ''told straight''

mypropertea · 31/10/2016 18:49

Yanbu. I hate this too! So so so much!!!

NotAMammy · 31/10/2016 18:51

My DH used to be told that he was so skin it was disgusting, that it made her sick to look at him.
He hardly knew her, she was a customer at the place where he worked part time. It wasn't the only comments that he had, he got them nearly every shift. Always from obese women. It's absolutely awful that anyone could use words like that to anyone, regardless of whether it's about their size, height, features, whatever. Why some people feel like they have the right to is beyond me.

Rowenag · 31/10/2016 20:44

I think people who say that to you are probably jealous or have some kind of eating disorder themselves. Totally agree it is rude and uncalled for. Occasinally I think women who are very thin who wear skinny jeans look unhealthy but I would never say that to them! You can bet that anyone who has made a comment to you though wishes they were thinner.

falange · 31/10/2016 21:18

YABU. I used to be told all the time when I was younger. By friends, nurses, family. Didn't bother me in the slightest. Now I'm not skinny it wouldn't bother me if anyone commented on my weight. Not bothered what people think.

Daydream007 · 31/10/2016 21:28

YANBU. The people who are telling you that you are too thin are rude and probably overweight and a tad envious IMO. Why else would they say that.

lukeymom · 31/10/2016 22:01

I've been criticised about my looks many times since I was young and it made me self conscious. As a girl I was skinny and people including friends would call me skinny ribs or Skeleton. I used to feel like I was ugly . Then as a teenager I put weight on,mostly on my thighs and bum. I would have boys joke that I had tree trunk legs or fat arse. Yet another time I was called a matchstick by a boy. I was on holiday with my friend and family. I had a boy my age make fun of me ,laughing at me saying my legs were thin and I was like a matchstick. I wore a knee length skirt then and I felt really bad about myself,it made me not want to wear a skirt,only a long one if I have to.
After having children I always struggled to lose baby weight. It would take about 3 years for me to slim back to a size 12. I feel I look ok. But I never have people tell me I look good. It's either asking if I have lost weight. I say yes,and they either say nothing or tell me I looked better with weight on. If I am carrying a few excess pounds, I get people especially family members call me fat. I don't think I've ever been paid a compliment about my figure. It hurts and makes me feel insecure at times.But I try to ignore it now.What else can I do?

Lorelei76 · 31/10/2016 22:04

YANBU
I got horrible comments when I was underweight too!

Lanaorana1 · 31/10/2016 22:26

Yep, rude. Always the same people who make the comments, though, and you can bet they do it to everyone. Ignore the friendless fools :)

hks · 01/11/2016 09:43

as long as you are healthy don't take any notice of the sarky comments x

Pritchyx · 01/11/2016 11:32

I was a size 6-8 pre-DD... I was a 16 after her birth. 3.5 years on and I'm a size 10 and 9.5st. I've had both fat and thin comments.

I thought I looked alright until I left the company I worked for then rejoined back last month to be told that "I need a good meal and I look disgustingly ill.." I was gone 8 months and lost about a 9lbs without trying... Coincidentally it was a rather large, overweight male colleague who made the comments.
Told him my next phrase started with f and ended in f, and asked him to tell his wife to put him on a diet. He looked insulted... Don't give if you can't take!

rawsienna · 01/11/2016 11:32

When my sister was ill she piled on a lot of weight, which thankfully she is losing now, but at the time she had some very unkind comments made to her. Tree trunk, been at the Gregs love? were some of the tamer ones. People need to keep their gobs shut.

Thefitfatty · 01/11/2016 11:38

YANBU, it's rude to comment on people weight. Thin or Fat.

FV45 · 01/11/2016 11:44

IME (naturally very slim, but currently too thin due to stress), it's usually people with their own weight agenda who feel it's OK to comment on your weight in a judgemental way.

Since my additional weight loss the people who have spoken to me about it have been sensitive and concerned and I don't mind that and am happy to explain that I'm confident I'll bounce back.

Anmi0802 · 02/11/2016 08:09

I find it so offensive to comment on people's appearance. It's rude, and it hurts our feeling. I'm a size 8/10 and no one comments because on people's view I'm an average person. Therefore I know someone who calls me friends who is a size 10, for some reason she loves comments in everything I have in my body, keep saying I'm bigger than her, I'm fatter than her and her clothes wouldn't fit me, I bought these leggings with her and we both got M, but my one was too big and I had to change, got tired of all her comments I probably got a bigger M than her, how on earth I was slimmer than her, I thik it's rude and annoying. Op people can get very jealous of you cos you are still skinny and they hate it, don't worry about it, I would love to be a size 6 myself

Tryingtobegood10 · 02/11/2016 19:00

I'v never been thin! I'v always been a big girl but I'm also very tall so you know, what ever lol
I think the fact is people will always strive to be thin... the be called thin is a massive complement to a lot of people, even to thin!! But fat.... phew that's a massive insult!! People would say "oh your looking a little thin" and they would be giving a compliment or even being concerned bit to say so.eone looks fat would be followed by a snide remark! Or a rude word lol

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