My daughter slapped a work colleague on the shop floor!

[plastique]

My daughter is distraught, she slapped a colleague at work whilst having playful banter (though they did cross the line), but it was a bit hard, left a mark for 10 mins and colleague is not happy...what should she do??

Also, the size of the perpetrator is completely irrelevant. Because you're smaller than your husband, that means it's "fine" (by comparison) to slap him?

Get real. It's assault either way.

I don't really think the context is relavent, she had the option of walking away. She is not a teen but a graduate who is, I imagine, aware of the behavioural expectations of a workplace. OP I would not be surprised if the reason he has not responded to her, frankly insulting, apology by messenger, is because he has, or is considering, escalating it. The first thing he would be told is to have no contact with her. She needs to realise that there will be some consequence at work for physically assaulting a colleague and prepare for, at the very least, a formal warning. No workplace could be seen to ignore this behaviour.

It really doesn't matter what he said.

It's work. She over stepped the line. I have worked with all sorts of dickheads.

You do not ever do this. Once you slap someone at work you have over stepped a line. I am really shocked a woman who is old enough to have a job doesn't know this.

She shouldn't have slapped him but the fact that other female workers are glad she did means he probably has form for some kind of harassment. He may be unhappy about being slapped but realize that they both went too far, and be reluctant to make any complaint because other women may then come forward and complain about him.

What did he say to make her hit him? That is surely relevant.

So he's pushing and shoving and using banter. She's responding and it's escalated resulting in a slap. It sounds as if there is more to the story. I agree, what he said is relevant. Not that I'm condoning the slap. The pushing and shoving is also the same as it's unwanted physical contact. And I think it's a shame she sent him a written apology as she's basically admitted she hit him at work. If he now feels so inclined, he can get her dismissed.

Sticks and stones.....
Are people actually quoting that awful rhyme. How ridiculous.
Context means a lot. Yes it is agreed she shouldn't have slapped him. But she did. This isn't a case of domestic violence from a woman to a man. This is an error in judgement. An unprofessional reaction to a colleague who had been pushing and shoving and speaking out of turn.
She has apologised. He is not innocent.

I think he probably doesn't need to make a complaint. This was witnessed by others and possibly clients so I would imagine any manager present will be duty bound to react to it. The relavance of what was said might impact on the consequence but will not exonerate OP's daughter completely. In her original post the OP says 'they' crossed the line re banter so if her DD also was verbally insulting, what he said would become a lot less relevant. Does not sound a healthy workplace for anyone. Banter is usually a code word for insulting, and often sexually derogatory, conversation. Not a good idea.

This wasn't just 'a slap'

It was a considerable hit that left a significant mark.

She assaulted him.

The minimising going on here is awful.

As for your comment scaryclown Stop being so ridiculous!

The op said that they are always pushing jostling and bantering, not just him.

She also said they are good friends

She also said it wasn't harassment.

Sounds like they were messing around and both crossed a line. However hers was physical and if they were both giving as good as they get then any manager would say the banter was 50/50 (reprimand them both) but the slap crossed the line.

Just because other women at work agree he deserved a slap that doesn't mean it's for harassment. It could be simply that he's a prick in general.

I used to think someone at my first job deserved a slap. Not because of anything to do with harassment or rudeness but because he was an arsehole who had ons with everyone and was a complete cheat. It wasn't until I grew up a bit that I realised 1) never a reason to slap someone and 2) my own behaviour, shagging him when I knew what he was like, made me just as responsible for my shit feelings.

I think that it's interesting the op won't said what was said which would put everything in context. It could have been really nasty but equally could have been something that made her see red because it hit a nerve.

And it doesn't matter on gender, in the work place it is never professional to slap. Its not professional to banter jostle or push either so they may both be reprimanded howevwr it seems to be a culture qt their workplace so perhaps not.

Ops daughter is guilty of both types of poor misconduct while he only one.

She shouldn't have slapped him but she did, and he deserved it ...

Other female members of staff are glad he got a slap

Interesting to see the minimising / deflection going on here, especially considering that nobody - including the OP - can know exactly what happened as they weren't there

In principle, though, violence is always wrong (as well as being a stupid thing to offer in a workplace) but I very much doubt most managers would be interested in some abstract debate on gender issues; it's surely more likely that they'd just wish folk would get on with the job while behaving like reasonable adults

Some people have been quick to search for excuses for this woman's behaviour but there are none. She's a graduate so she's been around at least 20 years, long enough to know better. It doesn't matter what he said, there are ways to deal with that with more strength and professionalism than this.

You cannot just slap a colleague at work in response to playful banter (OP's words). I've been tempted myself to slap a few years at work but you don't actually do it. What if he'd slapped her back with the same force because he then felt she 'deserved it'?

She's obviously regretful but she's done enough to get herself at least suspended so she'll just have to wait and see now.

Amanda and Virgin what do you mean? OP has said he deserved a slap!

"Banter" has got a lot to answer for. It puts a veneer of acceptability on unacceptable behaviour. You say this guy is a good friend, yet he said something so awful to her that she assaulted him in the workplace, and now there are other people who are "glad" she did it. This isn't friendly "bantz" and a nice place to work, this is a culture of inappropriate behaviour which has continued under a veneer of acceptability because hey its all friendly and no one wants to be the stuck up one that doesn't join in. But look where it ends up, gross misconduct and a surely sackable offence. Everyone that works there, and your daughter in particular should take a long look at themselves and the way they treat each other in the workplace. And grow up because "banter" is something teenage rugby boys do, it's pretty grim then but has absolutely no place in a professional setting.

LagunaBubbles op is pretty biased to be fair and she's given no context as to why he deserves it. There's plenty of people I would say I thought deserved a slap, that doesn't mean they actually did it's just how I felt, nor a fact.

Hint: men tend to be bigger and quite a bit stronger than women. So of course a man slapping a woman is going to hurt a lot more and do more damage than if the genders were reversed. It doesn't matter about how much it hurts, for fuck sake! Violence is wrong, it doesn't matter who can hurt who more.

The man could be quite young too. I think young people do tend to be more tactile So violence is "being tactile" now? Again...would you say that same of HE slapped HER

What if had been two men sharing banter and had attempted to engage in a bear hug, or brawl, or messing about, and one knocked the other over? Can you not see the difference in someone being "knocked over" during what you suggest is mutual silliness, and someone being slapped by one party? REALLY??

Such a shame that op hasn't told anyone what happened.

Christ. A manager who 'banters' by teasing junior staff and pushes and shoves them, and a graduate presumably trainee manager who joins in and slaps someone.

I feel for the poor bastards who are stuck having to work for immature plonkers. So unprofessional on both sides.

It must have been a hell of a slap to leave a mark for 10 minutes. DP and I josh around and get physical in a jokey way, mock deadlegs and little rabbit punches (yeah, we find it funny, it's not real violence) and neither of us has ever left a mark on the other. She really meant it.

She needs to apologise to him in person and tell him that all this behaviour is going to stop on both sides, now, as it's getting out of hand, and reflects very poorly on them both and will damage their careers. They will forever be the unprofessional plonkers if they don't stop. If he starts again, she should just walk off and refuse to engage with it. Let him kill his own career if he wants. She needs to be smarter than this.

What should probably happen is that the incident should be investigated, possibly while one or both are suspended. The investigation should look at what actually happened - sounds like there were plenty of witnesses, and there may well have been CCTV too.

It should look at the background - the banter and pushing and shoving.

It should take into account whether customers could have seen - it's not clear to me whether it's a retail shopfloor or a factory shopfloor. If customers or clients could have witnessed it, I'd be even more unimpressed. OTOH, in a factory setting, there could be H&S risks.

I would probably look for the OP's daughter to be on a final warning rather than dismissed if there have been no other issues. Whether the slapped person should be in a disciplinary setting would depend on what came up in the investigation. At our place, there would probably also be compulsory training for everyone to review the code of conduct.

I think the OP's daughter should at least review the employer's disciplinary procedures, so if it does go that way, she will have knowledge of what should happen and when she can have someone accompany her. But assault is gross misconduct and can be subject to instant dismissal, so no harm in tuning up the CV either

The fact that hitting people is unacceptable is totally compatible with the fact that she doesn't have to resign and there's the potential to move on. Jeez even that ukip bloke didn't have to resign and he landed someone unconscious in hospital!

And getting another job after dismissal for violence isn't exactly easy. Are people really arguing for this young woman to lose her entire career because of one mistake?!

Jeez even that ukip bloke didn't have to resign and he landed someone unconscious in hospital!

He denies hitting him. There has been no official link between him allegedly being hit and collapsing hours later.

Italiangreyhound

If you are going to quote me at least do it in context and not continue taking it out of context, as has been done by another poster.

None of this adds up. One minute they're 'very good friends' enjoying 'banter', the next he's persistently inappropriate with people at work and the rest of the women in the company are delighted he got a slap. Which is it?