kali re "italian i know of two blokes who had gfs who hit them.
Thankfully one ended the relationship but the other is still with her. Some of his friends think it's funny (not friends in my opinion) you really can't see why more men stay silent? Even after comments on here?"
I can completely see the potential for men (or women) to stay silent when in an abusive relationship.
The reasons either sex would stay silent are obvious. But I don't believe men are more likely to stay silent than women. I believe this is a myth.
Either may worry about losing their home or kids, or may worry about not being believed. This might be more true for men, but the man who was in a relationship my friend who was very controlling etc, was tall, handsome and charming, it is easy to see how some people come across as very plausible and nice, people of either sex!
Generally, women have the additional worry that their partners superior strength means he could seriously injure or kill them, I doubt if many men worry about that. Women may put themselves in harms way because they are not sure how to leave; the fact that in some controlling marriages men control the finances may well mean that women have additional reasons to stay silent.
I am not at all 'supporting' women being violent to men. AT ALL.
I am saying that I do not think it is less likely men would report. If you read the article I linked to you will see individual incidents of violence in individual couples are very few where the victim is male - e.g. the man leaves, or stops the violence by their superior 'strength' or by the law but incidents in individual relationships where the female is the victim are usually many more, sometimes a lot more. EG the women are more likely to stay and 'put up with the situation'. Who do you think is more likely to report, someone who is likely to put up with multiple incidents or someone who is not?
I think the assumption men are less likely to report is based on how men may have behaved many years ago when they might genuinely been less likely to report because they may not have been believed. I do not think that is true now. I know a man (a work colleague not a good friend) who was a victim of domestic abuse and he was very open about it. NONE of this excuses violence but I was responding originally to a poster about the likelihood of a man reporting.
And...
Re "Nobody should be hit, man or woman. ( unless being attacked)"
Yes, I agree.
Sorry Pluto typing fail... "Pluto I am not using age to condone violence..."
itunscrewstheotherway re "No, but you were saying that the article you linked supported your belief that men are less likely to report DV."
No, I was not, I think men are more likely or at least just as likely to report domestic violence as women are, for all the reasons I just said above.
The comparison to "two men engaging in a bear hug" was that if her slap was a bit playful and just landed hard on the man, then that would be comparable to a bear hug ending up in an accident, because the intention might not have been to hurt.
When I was much younger (about 18) me and a male friend got into a playful fight and I bit him o the hand! I hurt him but I did not mean to as we were kind of play fighting! Yes 18 is very old to be doing that but I was mortified that I hurt him. I had not intended to. I just wondered if this might be the case here. Something that got out of hand but was meant playfully. Like all others I am only trying to on what the OP has said.