I think the issue is that there are trans activists who want one extreme, then as a reaction to that other very vocal people want the other extreme, it's those two groups who battle it out in a public way.
Most trans people just want to go about their lives not causing an issue at all.
It's difficult to align wholeheartedly with either side because there are such extremes and so they just keep their heads down and stay out of it.
For example although I agreed with a lot of what was said on the I am spartacus thread I couldn't stand alongside those on it because of the view that transgender people shouldn't be called the pronoun of their choice.
That sort of attitude makes it difficult to speak up, just as the attitude that you can saunter into work one day and declare you're a woman with a beard who wants to use women's showers makes it difficult to speak up for the trans activists.
My family just wants to stay the hell out of it all and get on with out own lives.
It's tricky to get a balance until people find a middle ground and start speaking up for that.