To ask if you are as socially awkward as me...

[WankingMonkey]

And for some stories?

A couple of days back I just met my cousins partner for the first time. All is going well and she says she likes my top and asks where I got it. My answer?

'Oh I have had it on for two days as I am such a scruff round the house'

She just kind of looked weirdly at me and went 'riiiiight' and walked out of the room .

Seriously wtf inspires me to say shit like that? Its not the first time and probably won't be the last either. So socially awkward. I expect I am not alone, whats your worst?

My husband did the awkward thing of leaving our house while the neighbour was also outside. "Ah, just mowing the lawn?" my husband said to him. But he wasn't mowing the lawn, he was washing his car...

Talking to a school mum I vaguely knew in the playground, we had walked up together and by the time the bell rang had totally exhausted all small talk.

There were a few excruciating minutes until she faked a phone call and walked off, I knew she had faked it but was just so glad not to be trapped in the awkward conversation I didn't mind. We still say hello to each other but I have resolved not to stand next to her in the playground again, for her sake and mine

I am like this too! I just open my mouth and out spouts all the crap. At least as I get older I don't care as much, in fact it's quite useful for filtering potential friends out.

My favourite: getting chatted up in a bar, guy asks me my age, I tell him, he says I don't look it, and I point at my face with my forefingers whilst twirling my hands at the wrist and announce loudly, Oil of Olay.

Yeah, this is me. Someone smiles at me, I don't know how to react, smile back, look down, people think I have a crush on this person because apparently I blushed but the reality is, I was just taken aback!

Boss asks how I am doing with my task, I answer, "I'm very slow, it's not easy" when all I meant was I'm doing ok. Wtf is wrong with me?

I was approached and complimented on my boots the other day.
I looked puzzled at the woman for what I know was much longer than necessary then blabbed out something rushed about the brand and website where I bought them (she did ask).

But the cringe-clincher was the apologetically loud 'Thank You!' I shouted out after she had walked away 😳🙈

stillrunning

dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/d660/#

I loved the pockets!! Alfred Sung dresses almost always have them, they're fab. I got this on eBay though, for £25!

Colleagues discussing children in need today... Not with me, just between themselves.

Making it even better when I try to join in with a "Awww, I do love pussy!"

keep my mouth shut tomorrow!

MadHattersWineParty that is lovely! Thanks for sharing (off to eBay, hoping we're not the same size ;-)

My wedding dress has pockets! I was far too excited by this when trying on. Can't wait to wear it, let the twirling commence!

So in an effort not to seem rude I stopped saying bye after the b and made an odd E-I noise at her instead which sounded like I was doing a load
😅😅😅

Random woman in a car park begs my help using the needlessly complex ticket machine. Finally, after much experimentation, her ticket pops out.

She thanks me effusively. I reply cheerily and I'm not a cheery person: "No problem! I would high-five you, but I'm English and I don't know you".

She smiles weakly and backs away.

Was it Tony Randall in 'The Odd Couple', Sitting? I used to love that.
I used to love that, too. I thought it was far better than the movie. Love anything with Tony Randall in it.
However, I thought of David Hyde Pierce, from "Frasier" because he is supposed to be lovely to work with and goes to great lengths to be considerate, without being obvious about it.

Killing myself at sexy times ... and trick or treat!
I simply could not stop myself inadvertently using phrases like legless; cost an arm and a leg and hadn't a leg to stand on, in the company of a friend of mine who'd had a leg amputated.. I don't know which was worse; breezing on regardless, or the awkward pause/slight gurgle... he still speaks to me.

I have an almost floor length, high quality winter coat with a thick, detachable, fake fur collar.

Whenever anyone compliments me about it, I have almost always gone into the long, loooooooong story about how I found it in a very smelly state in a charity shop, how much effort it took to buy it, take it home and clean it before getting it altered.

They do end up looking like they regret mentioning it at the end....

I thought of Niles Crane from Frasier too.

at "sexy times" and have just spat tea all over the keyboard. Next time I get a smear done it's going to be very hard not to say it out loud or get the giggles.....

I have so many of these I'm not sure where to start. For my job I have to go and interview people. It's well out of my comfort zone and each time I do it I get these awful flashbacks - what did I say that was really dumb? Most recent one (not work) was in the supermarket where I bumped into one of DS's friend's dads who is quite a famous (not in UK) stage actor. We had a chat and somehow I ended up quoting the Four Yorkshiremen sketch at him. What on earth was I thinking...?

Ooh. Another one.

The interview for my very first full time job after school.

One of the gentlemen interviewing said "Very pleased to meet you."

"Thank you" says I.

That's it.

Not thanks for inviting me or anything. Just "Thank you", like I've just granted an audience...

Should read whole thread, but don't because i'm socially inept.

ThinkPink

"Sexy times..." Ha! That's outstanding.

Reminded me of something I read roundabout Xmas:

(Blogger had hurriedly grabbed a shower & doused herself in what she thought was a freshening deodorant, pre-internal exam).

Doctor: "My, we are feeling...er..festive today"

Turns out it was her 4 yr old's glitter spray

Ha ha am crying laughing at these, you could fill a book with them.

I do this sort of thing - esp as I always feel really self conscious about wearing new things and looking different.

I've recently moved from glasses to contacts after years in glasses and whenever anyone comments I launch into this massive justification of why I've switched, which is just embarrassing - blabbering on and on. I think I am just really embarrassed about making an effort to look better, and hate the comments about it, especially as am told I look different.

The worst though was when I was wearing a new pair of trainers at the gym. Someone said "those shoes look new" and I said "yes, they are borrowed".

WTF????? Why? WHY? I still cringe when I think about it

My worst was a phone call from someone advising that their husband had died. I gave condolences etc and at the end of the call said "enjoy the rest of your day, bye bye!"

I still cringe.

Once said to the Assistant Director 'Why are you wearing that watch?'

It was an horrendous Baby G type affair though.

Tcakes, I did similar, expect I said 'Oh well, at least the footy season is starting soon'

I need locking up really.

'"No problem! I would high-five you, but I'm English and I don't know you".

Bloody brilliant

See, I'd LOVE it if someone said that to me in a carpark.