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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you are as socially awkward as me...

356 replies

WankingMonkey · 27/10/2016 14:59

And for some stories?

A couple of days back I just met my cousins partner for the first time. All is going well and she says she likes my top and asks where I got it. My answer?

'Oh I have had it on for two days as I am such a scruff round the house'

She just kind of looked weirdly at me and went 'riiiiight' and walked out of the room .

Seriously wtf inspires me to say shit like that? Its not the first time and probably won't be the last either. So socially awkward. I expect I am not alone, whats your worst?

OP posts:
Pollaidh · 28/10/2016 15:06

A neighbour who I exchange smiles and hellos with stopped to ask how our new cat was doing.

"Oh, she's good thanks, but she likes to get into bed with me and my husband and every time we want to have a cuddle, she gets between us, so there's not much going on in bed at the moment."

I may have to move.

Pollaidh · 28/10/2016 15:07

And it was a male neighbour. He looked startled and somewhat uncomfortable.

Gatekeeper · 28/10/2016 15:07

I've loved reading these ; makes me feel all warm and fuzzy at how daft and nice people are

My story is this; was sitting at reception at LWT (points for those who can remember) and a chap who was currently appearing on a children's tv show was sitting next to me. Instead of saying how good the show was , as it was I told him he was shite in it and the programme was crap Blush

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 28/10/2016 15:07

Me and dh are very childish. We answer each other's questions with "Ya Mam." That's fine between us. It's not fine when speaking to his uptight sister. We were out walking after my nephews party. Our conversation is very stilted. We exchange pleasantries about the weather. We see that someone has left a huge dog turd by the footpath. She asks loudly who left that there? Naturally I said "Yer Mam!" It was out before I even realised. Blush :o dh thought it was hilarious.

pearlsandbows · 28/10/2016 15:09

Upon coming out of school one day, nw teacher told me DS had bumped his head. My reply was he was always walking into things. Imediately followed by "that sounds so child abusey". She was NQT and just stared, she didn't know what to say.

pumpkinsAtDawn · 28/10/2016 15:11

Some clangers that have stuck with me for years and still make me cringe ....

  1. In my room at Uni with a platonic male friend, watching the end of a TV programme before going out. Programme ends and I say "Right! Let's have it off then!"
  1. To another male acquaintance loaning me his copy of A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, pointing to picture of author and saying "actually, you look a bit like him".
  1. To a new acquaintance in a post-natal group who just told me where she lived: "Oh, we looked in that block when we were flat hunting, but they were all a bit small"

There have been hundreds over the years, but those ones stick out for some reason.

Coconutty · 28/10/2016 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pollaidh · 28/10/2016 15:20

And my poor boss, who is lovely, must hardly dare go into a room with me... every time I'm with him I get panicky and say something odd, usually gynaecological.

Like when he was asking me about a recent work flight, and I commented on how the landing was painful on my coccyx. He looked uncomfortable. So I followed up with - "Birth trauma, you know..."

Cuppaand2biscuits · 28/10/2016 15:21

I had one of my daughters friends over to play for the first time and she was delightful. Her mum came to collect her and asked if she'd been ok. "Yes, yes" I said "dd talks about her like she quite bossy and precocious but she's been lovely"
Eek! Luckily her mum just agreed that she is bossy.

GeorgeTheThird · 28/10/2016 15:26

I'm Angela Hernandez 😄

PrivatePike · 28/10/2016 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joinourclub · 28/10/2016 15:32

I can't think of anything, because I work VERY hard to block them all out of my mind! If I feel a little awkward memory start to creep in I have to distract myself immediately.

DearMrDilkington · 28/10/2016 15:38

so I go along with it and even sign her Christmas card with the name.

That's brilliantGrin.
What if she takes a delivery in for you one day.. your going to have to change your Amazon name to jodieGrinWink

DixieWishbone · 28/10/2016 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 28/10/2016 15:43

Sitting here laughing, with tears running down my face! Fab thread.

ChilliMum · 28/10/2016 15:45

I love this thread I thought it was just me! I am eternally socially awkward.

Years ago I was working on a project report and it needed my managers signature. I needed to fill out details for her so I popped into her office to check.

Box said full name so:

Me: Is Mary Manager your full name
Manager: it's Mary Joy Manager
Me: (huge guffaw and laughter) no way, really what's your name.
Manager: that really is my name.
Me Oh no sorry I laughed

Now I should have just left it there but I felt bad for laughing at her name (obviously not joy but similar meaning unusual name).

Me (cont....): I wasn't laughing at your name it's really lovely and unusual but you are the least joyful person I know Blush

Why oh why oh why can I not just stfu.

Justwanttoweeinpeace · 28/10/2016 15:54

Getting the builders to park in the right place on the shared drive so it doesn't upset the petty neighbour next door.

Along with the usual overly enthusiastic thank yous and compliments about their distinctly average parking I come up with;

'Upsetting her is more than my car's worth.'

What? When will my brain start working?

DearMrDilkington · 28/10/2016 15:55

Ooo I've just remembered one I've done!

I was in a well known pet store buying a new fish to go in my fish tank and the sales woman needs some details to put on a form..

Sales lady: so what size tank have you got
Me: much bigger than any of those silly small things over there..3ftBlush
Sales Lady: right.. so what names
Me, slightly confused: names?.. Nemo, Rodger..
Sales lady: no not the names of your fish, your name!

Whilst my ex partner stood there nearly wetting himself laughing BlushBlush.

I'm not sure what happened to me that dayHmm

OrianaBanana · 28/10/2016 16:00

The one that always sticks in my mind was from school: I had a massive massive crush on this boy and the school dance was coming up (I was about 17). I hadn't yet found a partner and OBVIOUSLY could not ask this guy. One day, he came and asked me to go with him. Of course then I started waffling about how I didn't even know if I was going and might be doing something else or be away at the time or be leaving the country etc. and by then he'd backed off. To this day I don't know why I did that. I ended up going with a friend. Sad

I went with a colleague to a book launch (I work for a publisher) and he is a lovely guy. While making awkward small talk with someone there in dark glasses he asked 'So, have you seen the book?'. 'No, actually I'm blind' replied the guest with the white stick...

SittingDrinkingTea · 28/10/2016 16:08

This thread is both hilarious and reassuring.

To anyone questioning the US actor on page 1, yes it was David Hyde Pierce.

IronMaggie · 28/10/2016 16:14

Oh this is the best - I'm not alone! Almost every conversation is a minefield for me, whether other people notice or not.

But Dixie, where did Angela Hernandez come from? Had you just been talking about her, or were you particularly worried about her reaction? Whhhyyyy!??!

Mimicat44 · 28/10/2016 16:15

I went to have my will drawn up at my solicitor's last week which was weird and a bit awkward in itself. As we were getting up to leave, the solicitor made a polite comment about hoping the weather would stay nice for the weekend. I decided the correct response to this was "I've just been diagnosed with gallstones. I'm not allowed to eat any fat". Somewhere in my confused brain this was relevant as I associate weekends with eating out/cooking for friends/baking etc. Thankfully, she's either incredibly socially gifted and able to think of a polite reply to even the oddest comment, or as weird as me because her immediate response was "My sister had gallstones. She cured them with prayer" - I was so relieved to not have been faced with the awkward silence that I deserved, I happily shook her hand and declared in an excessively jolly fashion "I'll have to try praying then!!!" and turned and walked out. My cheeks are still burning.

GlumsTheWord · 28/10/2016 16:17

My memory goes back to the beginning of a long and full career of social awkwardness. When I was a teenager, my Dad's Italian friend came to visit us and I gave him a tour of our house. As I led him into our sitting room, he leant towards me; I though he was being 'continental' and coming in for a kiss, so I got in there quick and gave him a big smacker on the cheek. It turned out he was just leaning forward to examine the bookshelf.

Nooneyouwilleverknow · 28/10/2016 16:54

A couple stick out in my head but i usually do something embarassing at least once a week!

  1. Training a new girl at work was listening to her on the phone all day so when it was my turn to answer the phone i say "goodmorning new girls name speaking" i then corrected myself which made me sound as if i didnt know my own name to the customer and the new girl looked at me like i was freak!
  1. This one is utterly awful but i was training and my bosses mum came in and as i was a heavy smoker back then i had an awful cough. My hands were busy busy holding paper work so i kind of turned my head a bit to have a little cough cue a load of phelgm shooting out on to her i wanted to fucking die right there and then! Blush
BursarsFrogs · 28/10/2016 17:20

I love the idea that if Angela Hernandez ever decides to google herself, the first result is Mumsnet and that story. Grin

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