DH and I are both trained professionals (ooh!) and he is the significantly higher earner. Possibly because of this, he had a tendency to understate my contribution (financially) and so the usually unspoken rule was that because he contributed more financially I should contribute more domestically. In other words, even though we both worked full time, I made up the shortfall of my financial contribution through housework.
To be honest it was fine because we started off living in a small rented house then a larger "family" home but still very modern and easy to clean. Then had a baby and I went part time so fair enough, I did the lions share of the cleaning.
Then we moved to a larger and older building and I became a SAHM and then that really tilted the balance in his favour.
I hate being a SAHM. He thinks I have an easy life and I do insofar as 'easy' equates to 'full' but it's the having to ask for cash and justify spending (my Amazon basket is full of stuff I want and just can't buy) and filling the long afternoon hours and doing it all and then doing it all again tomorrow.
In all I haven't done a bad job. I used to think I did but having been away with two other families recently mine was by far the most organised (no judgement there by the way). The house is clean, warm and inviting, the sheets changed and washed and sprayed with some sweet smelling stuff weekly, the blinds are dusted. The food is cooked. The gardens are attractive and well maintained, the dog is walked and so on.
But I want to retrain. Entering my old career would be hard after a hiatus (is that the right word??) and I think I'd be good at the new one.
You would have thought I told DH I had racked up debt of 30 grand from the look on his face!
So AIBU to think he's just pissed off his easy life is ending?