AIBU to be annoyed if clothes I passed on have been re-sold

[iklelis83]

Hi I have been passing one Kids outgrown clothes to a friend (call them F) to whom I'm under impression are a bit tight on money.
im aware of other people also passing on clothes too.
It's come to my attention that F has re-sold a set of some of the clothes been passed onto F.
So I wanted to get others feeling on this as initially I'm a bit Pd off if F is not buying clothes for their kids, taking clothes off other people & selling them to make a profit.
I've not sold clothes before because Im under impression F is bit tight on money so want to save them money. However I have 2 kids & need to buy 2 lots of clothes & a little annoyed at others around me assuming I am financially comfortable more so than F.
Would anyone else be annoyed or just let it go & say good luck to F if they can make some money back?
Many thanks all

..and you said it yourself. They may need the money.
I gave away a car seat to a relative. Would i be annoyed if they sold it on? No. I would say goodluck to them!

Playing devils advocate (and not sure if this has been said!) but perhaps that particular set wasn't to her liking and instead of offending you she may have sold it on and used the money to get something different?

I think it depends. When ds was young I passed on a lot of his clothes to my mum's friend's daughter. We were both young single mums and I did it to be kind. I could have sold them to make a bit of money as I wasn't exactly flush. I felt I'd done the right thing as this girl made out she was really hard up. She sold as much as possible and used the money to get a spray tan and her nails done. Bit of a slap in the face.

When I pass on clothes to friends who need them, I tell them to give them to a charity shop or a friend in need when they're finished with them. I'd be very annoyed if they sold them.

If you give someone a gift it's none of your business what they do with If afterwards. If you don't like it, don't give your FRIEND anything else.

If they can be arsed to list them,pack them up,schlep down the the PO etc then they are welcome to whatever they get for it!

She's strapped for cash, you said it yourself so I see no harm in her making money selling clothes that have been given to her.

The hand-me-down pool works because everybody contributes. I had a cheapskate colleague like this, too. People gave freely for her first baby. She sold the lot, then had another baby. This time round, people gave their hand-me-downs to more deserving and generous people who themselves handed it on when finished. She was furious that she had to buy everything for her second.

I think it's rude. Especially if she sold them before her child wore the clothes. I wouldn't pass clothes on to her in the future. I agree with you op.

Has this friend said to you plz help me I need your kids clothes as I'm hard up or did u just assume this? Maybe she doesn't want to wear second hand clothes & will sell the old clothes to buy new clothes for the kids. Or maybe she'llsave the money for smthing special eg birthday gifts etc. I think instead of being pdoffd just ask her why she is selling the clothes. Then Dr ode what to do after that.

Soz then DECIDE what to do after that.

This - according to some posters on our local FB group for where I live - is not that uncommon - people picking stuff up for nothing as people want rid, and then posting it - on the same group! - for sale.

It would hack me off if the reason I'd given the people concerned the clothes was for their kids, and they'd sold it - who knows what for - scratch cards ? Cigs ? At the end of the day, it's your call.

Quite a lot of the "collections" where a plastic bag is posted through your door - are then sorted and the decent stuff sold, with a small amount going to the "charity" (which is often not an actual charity) on the bag.

Yes.

yabu

A friend gave me a sleepyhead, now that my ds is getting a bit big for it, I've offered to sell it on for her and send her the cash (she has moved away from the area). If she needs the cash, particularly for her kids, I think it's fair enough to sell the stuff on, unless you've asked for it back to give to someone else. Several friends have had kind of revolving maternity clothes, with a bigger and bigger bag of clobber. I thought about selling more expensive items (Isabella oliver dresses) but came to the conclusion I couldn't be arsed. If someone else wants to do so that's fine, just don't want perfectly good clothes in landfill.

If I had the time to faff about on ebay, wrap them, weigh them and post them I would sell them myself..I would be glad as it saved me a job!!

If she is short on money then surely selling any clothes that she won't be using will still be helping her family out? People worry too much these days about things that don't matter at all - is this really all people have to worry about these days???

When I went through a real financially difficult time (partner had left and was giving me nothing and left me in debt) I never told anyone, but people could tell I was struggling, and I was given loads of clothes, I never asked, I felt too embarrassed, but I did really need help. However, my boys are naturally very skinny, while one of my girls was extremely tall, so when I got clothes given to me by friends and family for them, half the time they wouldn't fit. I would have felt massively ungrateful for saying 'No thank-you, these don't fit!' because despite hating the fact, I needed help for my kids sake. I would always refuse peoples help at first, but my friends were adamant. (One lovely friend even let herself in with my spare key and filled my freezer, never got over that one! bless her!)
but yes, I did sell on some of the things they had given, and it meant I had money for food and heating, however, the only difference is most of the lovely folk giving me things would say 'Here you go, you might be able to use this for your DS, if not, just donate it or sell it!'
I'm not sure I would have just taken to sell on without that being said to me. I understand why you are a bit hurt, it seems quite duplicitous, however, if you need the money yourself, sell on your own things and don't give them away, as if you are giving them to someone, that says you no longer want them, and they are theirs to do as they please. xxxx

Pretty crass, but also fairly resourceful. I guess you do what you have to do when money is short.

I was very upset with a friend for giving me clothes.
I have 4 boys so there is nothing i need for them. I buy second hand but do like good quality. I dress my kids well, always clean and trendy and usually head to toe in next. This friend lives in primark and knows im fussy and paticular about clothes.
She messaged me she had baby clothes too good to throw away and mostly next and designer ( as she knows im fussy) so i said thank you. She brought it round and i gave her brand new with tags maternity clothes as she was expecting. When i looked through the bags i was utterley disgusted. I was too embarressed to give them to charity or recyling. 10 year old plus, stretched, stained, some mouldy clothes and no next. I was fuming, she sees my kids i know its bitchy but they are dressed better then hers i just found it completly insulting and binned them where no one could see. I sent a photo to my mum who also couldnt believe it. I dont really speak to her now.

I totally understand why you are pissed off but you have to assume that when you give something or even loan something that you aren't going to get it back and the receiver can do what they want with it. If they have made some money out of it you have helped twice!!!

Deathstarevicki - I was given some mouldy clothes too when ds was born. I just chucked them. Very odd.

It would be better if she has given them to charity. I don't agree with her selling them.

I wouldn't sell on anything I've been given 2nd hand, is pass the favour on if they were still in alright nick after I'd finished with them. If I'd been given them as a present new I would sell them on afterwards. I must admit I sold a lot of newborn stuff on cos it was barely worn & I don't know what was hand me down or new but I didn't sell for much so someone else still got a bargain & Royal Mail profited more than anyone!

You gave them away, they're no longer yours.. they're third hand clothes, surely she can't have made much from them, and if you gave them to help her as she is financially struggling.. then isn't her selling them for a few £ helping her out financially....?