Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

What type of venue were you at? How many people were at the part of the day you attended?

Lots of couples going for gold out there to be the worst hosts ever.

Ha! We have just been to a wedding with no food. There was wedding cake but it was burnt. It was all over by 5pm.

It was SIL's second marriage and we guessed what was in store 20 years on after the first no frills one. She is just as tight 20 years later and were ready for it this time. We stopped for a meal en-route - 7 hours round trip with elderly parents so no food was not an option. She also has a habit of re-gifting so we bought personalized wine glasses with their initials engraved on.

The most poshest upper-class wedding I ever went to was wedding ceremony, champers and canapes for 300, speeches, home. I was 38 weeks pregnant, so glad to get home early!

The first wedding I was a bridesmaid in was my eldest brother's (RIP). He married a narcissist who spent a fortune on her ring, her dress, made us buy very expensive & unflattering bridesmaid's dresses and then we had to go through a complete nuptial mass (Roman catholic). They take hours, are exhausting, much kneeling etc.
Then the reception was like the OP! I think there was a glass of punch, and I distinctly remember a couple of small platters of mints. That was it. No cake served, no music, around 200 guests. Even though I was 17 & had limited experience of weddings, I was seriously shocked & my family was completely flummoxed. I think her entire focus was showing off her lovely self & handsome groom (my brother was gorgeous & a wonderful person) in front of all her kith & kin & reaping all the presents & dosh. No thought of other people. (She didn't subsequently make my brother particularly happy as she was seriously spoiled.)

Not, burnt wedding cake? WTF.

Also how does a wedding with no music not automatically turn into this?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3T2FpCDlyNg

thats really stingy i mean how much would it cost to leave out a few plates of cucumber sandwiches and some tea .

well you can't go all kevin bacon with no music!

Dh and I married abroad, ceremony was scheduled for 6 pm and might have taken a bit longer as it was done in Greek then English, but afterwards we took our guests (about 10 I think) to a restaurant in town. They chose what food they wanted and we paid the bill.

I can't imagine being so inhospitable as to deny food and drink to guests who have taken the time and trouble to be there. There is NO excuse. As pp has said, breaking bread with guests is one of the oldest traditions of human society and to break that is just beyond the pale. Especially discriminating between guests like these examples

Paula, I can! But seriously you'd think there'd be an outbreak, people would even sing the locomotion in desperation. Not at a three hour do but some of what's described here is longer than that with nowt to do.

Brings show wedding to a whole new level...literally watch couple get wed plus a few speeches.

'I can confirm that- even the swings in the playgrounds were chained up on ?Saturday evenings so no fin could be had on the Sabbath!'

Zippy a friend of mine had dreams about moving to Stornoway and leading a blissful island life. I told her to think very carefully about that! Sounds such a joyless existence to me.

Absolutely Squoosh. Places like Barra are great fun, with lively communities, pleanty of pubs and a real sense of joy. Stornoway is miserable. (I don't live as far south as Barra, but I really wish I did, they have some trees and everything!).

I went to a wedding where there was champagne on arrival, a few canapés and champagne for the toast. The couple did then as, Purplepicnic has said, go for a meal with family. I knew what to expect and got a drink and to meet up with friends. I shared the most important part of the day, the wedding, and was happy to do so. It was their day to celebrate as they wanted so you probably ABU

You maybe should have realised from the wedding timings?

Ours was 3.30pm ceremony in church followed by afternoon tea reception in pub opposite church. All over by 6pm. The afternoon tea was a lavish spread. We didn't have cake or speeches or dancing or favours because we hate all that faffing around.

We asked people not to give us presents but if they wanted to do something to make a donation to cancer research instead. We had loads of lovely comments and letters afterwards about how much people had enjoyed it and appreciated not having to fork out for an overnight stay etc.

It's a short wedding, so wouldn't expect meal but it's surprising there were no canapes and wedding cake.

Sheesh! Even if the wedding reception was only from 2pm-3pm I'd still expect some kind of food to be offered. It's a wedding reception! A plate of savoury nibbles and a plate of sweet. It wouldn't have cost the earth or been much fuss to arrange. Some sad bastards really are tight as a duck's arse.

I went to one like this many years ago. One drink each after the ceremony. Then half a bagel with cream cheese and a slither of smoked salmon allotted per guest which had gone rock hard as had been toasted hours earlier and that was it. We all stood around chatting awkwardly. No music, no dancing, only one v quick speech IIRC. Had travelled miles to get there and it was an all afternoon affair (maybe 12-5ish?). Bride and groom left for honeymoon and "party" broke up immediately thereafter. I went to Burger King at the station on way home! Most bizarre. They are now divorced and married to other people (both had much more lavish weddings second time)!

I actually think it was clever of them.
We had an expensive wedding with lots of stress organising it for a lot of people.....some of whom I haven't seen since.
Even though they might be well off now, they're probably thinking they would rather have a fabulous honeymoon or be saving to bu ya new house etc.

Perhaps that afternoon wedding with drinks and chatting etc was their idea of a nice time. They married and saw friends and family.
To be honest, I kind of wish now I had done something similar.....although I would have still had a buffet I think.

True Verbena the chance to chat etc was really nice and much appreciated at the one I went to- and the ceremony itself, which is what it's all about after all, was lovely. My overriding memory is of being ravenous, which is probably clouding it!

Doent sound much like a celebration.
I think this type of affair is beocming more popular as prices rise!

I was quoted £3000 for a phtographer!

Definitely not being unreasonable, no food is rude - and if there is to be no food it should be expressly stated on the invite. Weird. I've been to a few "interesting weddings" over the years, especially when I was younger. Once I was invited to be a witness at a small quiet ceremony, there was only 4 of us there (including the bride and groom). It was lovely, A few photos afterwards and then the couple and the other witness told me they were going to the pub and I wasn't invited!! I would have happily have paid for myself, but so gobsmacked at how it was said I went home.

*That really is unacceptable. You weren't so much guests as, well I don't know what. Bystanders, room fillers, photo fillers...?
*

Gift givers?

'I actually think it was clever of them.'

It was tacky, tight and rude.

I guess it was their choice, but absolutely no food of any kind does sound.....un hospitable.

If there won't be any food of any kind, I think it should say so on the invitation 'please join us after the ceremony for a celebratory glass of....' Or something.

TBH, if you want people to travel a distance, then I think you need to give them some food - doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, but at the extreme minimum, some cake?

I have known people invite some guests to their actual wedding service and then just for cake afterwards in the Church hall. These have tended to be very local guests, when the bride and groom have huge families or a very limited budget. It has been very clear that people are just staying for cake and wine/tea, which is fine because it has been clear and those guests are very very local. However, to turn up for a 'reception' and there to be nothing at all, just seems wrong.

I went to the 'poshest' wedding ever some years back, it was miles away so the day was long. church wedding followed by champagne and canapés in a marquee served my well spoken smart waiters on silver trays weaving in and out of guests, children were given a meal. We left around 9pm absolutely starving only to find the local pub had just stopped serving food. It was bloody cold in the marquee too..