Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

No food, or dancing or music? What did you do?

I agree it is off. By all means have a budget/alternative wedding, but not feeding or entertaining guests is rude. A burger van and a church hall would have done, along with a relative playing dj. It needn't be costly, but this smacks of lack of effort/thought for guests.

If your wedding gift was money, in the form of a cheque, then may I be the first to say...

Cancel the cheque.

Last wedding I went to had hours of canapés, bread, cocktails, beers, wine etc., then a three course meal and cake, then brunch for all guests the following day. Amazing!

You can't ask people to get dressed up, travel miles away from home and buy you gifts (it's expected if not required!) and then not feed them at all without looking like a right tight arse.

Best man and groom made brief speech then everyone just sat around chatting.

When did the penny drop that no food would be forthcoming?

GoldenWondering - What religion did you have in mind, or just all religions? In my experience they are the most joyous, generous and sharing wedding celebrations.

We thought we were in a drinks reception room and then would go through to another room afterwards but when they did the speeches in that room and cut the cake we realised that was it!!

They did cut a cake but not sure what happened to it.

Blimey that sounds odd. I wonder what they were thinking.

Is it a couple who belong to an unusual religious church? I can see in some types of religion it might be seen as simply a religious ceremony.

Strange. What's everyone going to do

So...
Arrive at 2:30
Ceremony at 3:00
Ceremony ends 3:30
Photos til 4:00
Toast and speeches til 4:30
I'd have left by 5:00 at the latest.

Really odd and exceptionally rude.

But the wedding didn't actually go on over a lunch time or when most adults would want an evening meal. Music and canapés would be nice but surely most people can not eat for a couple of hours?

Knowing my friends and family there'd have been a polite riot once it dawned on us that not even a sandwich would be put before us. I'll dance the Macarena, I'll listen to the best man's crass speech, I'll sit in a freezing church, I'll smile benignly at the tantrumming flower girl. As long as you feed me. It's the number one rule of hosting a wedding. Feed and water your guests. To not do that is abominably rude.

GoldenWondering, why on earth are you forced to attend any church? Sounds hellish.

surely most people can not eat for a couple of hours?

Well obviously. But most people wouldn't go to the bother of getting gussied up and travelling a distance for such a paltry affair. I certainly wouldn't.

Is this a new thing? Frugal wedding receptions

That's fucking miserable of them.

"I'm not having music at my wedding. Or dancing. "

We didn't.

We got married had a wedding breakfast, but no evening reception.

What did the invitation say?

If it was the usual "ceremony at x followed by reception at y", you'd expect food & drink in some capacity, wouldn't you?

For a weekday and the time of the wedding they were probably doing it on the cheap but they could of passed round some cupcakes, sandwiches and wine surely.

My best friend got married earlier this year and they were on a really tight budget for many reasons so they got married weekday mid afternoon, only had a few guests and we went to the local pub cavery afterwards but the guests paid for themselves but were pre warned. It was a nice day

It will be a wedding you won't forget........

Yep and surely if they'd put 2:30 - 5:30 on the invitations, most people would have figured it wouldn't have been a great big feed up and disco? I presume the guests would have eaten dinner before the ceremony and the wedding celebration (such as it was) didn't go through teatime either. I agree it was a poor shoe, but the relatively short timescales involved should have given you a clue.

I went to my boss's wedding once, round the back of Harrods somewhere, he was loaded (relevant I think....), there were 150 people there and canapes for about 7 - champagne obvs (DH wondering where the beer was.... ) - we were starving, my friend was newly pregnant and nauseous and I was ducking and diving between people trying to catch the waitress with the canape tray so I could bribe her to stand next to us....

We shot off as quick as we could to the drive in Kentucky down the Old Kent Road on the way home..... hallelujah for the Colonel!

Weddings and no food - no way.