Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

Wow. They should at least have had nibbles and refreshments for the reception portion of the afternoon. People travelled!

Shockingly cheap. No wonder they have money to spend on themselves ... they don't spend it on other people, whom they no doubt expected nice gifts from!

Any way you can claw back your gift if you're that outraged?

Went to a relatives wedding a few years back, travelled a good couple of hours, new outfits for dc etc.
Bride was at pains to tell us beforehand that there would be no food, just nibbles afterwards. which we were fine with absolutely.
That is until after the church wedding at the local pub when partaking of the few said nibbles and another relative was talking to us about the forthcoming sit down meal reception - the reception which was taking place in the next room within the next hour and to which we were not invited.
That stung. We were the only family not to be going to the meal.

What people don't get is that when they do things like this, it really colours how people view them forevermore. Cheap bastards.

I thought of the Wee Frees too. They don't really approve of fun times!

Squoosh having spent a weekend in Stornoway (stronghold of the Wee Frees) I can confirm that- even the swings in the playgrounds were chained up on ?Saturday evenings so no fin could be had on the Sabbath!

Frees would not have alcohol, though.

I'm genuinely fretting that the Daily Mail will pick up this story; lots more people will know about stingy weddings and it will become widespread, and weddings with food, drink and dancing will become endangered

Don't get me wrong. There WAS a cake. An 8" round box cake with orange frosting. Baked by a 7 year old. A bright orange finger-decorated box cake. Despite much drooling over it seeing if there was perhaps a knife at hand It never did get cut. The ceremony was at 4:00, the reception performance ended at 11:30. p.m.

How did you guess? There's far too much happiness in the world and it must be stamped out.
Easy, I live on South Uist!

Back on topic though, it does seem ridiculously stingy to not even serve a few snacks. We had a full-on highland wedding so there was a mountain of food, but even if you want something more modest and low-key, it seems reasonable to have something to soak up the alcohol and improve the tempers of the guests.

Place, you might have hit on a positive
If more people start doing it, then more people will stop going and then weddings might go back to being less like performances, maybe just couple and essential folk and everyone else can just party in peace in a sensible location with no speeches!

Looking up this Wee Free business now....

Was it that wedding from the thread about the bride having the vomiting bug? Maybe it was their quick exit strategy.

OP has boggered off has she?

I am very concerned about what happened to the cake. How big was it? Did they just take it home and eat the whole lot???

even the swings in the playgrounds were chained up on ?Saturday evenings so no fin could be had on the Sabbath!

In the Highlands one could go swimming on Sunday - presumably because exercise counts as mortification of the flesh - but all the floats/toys/watering cans were carefully padlocked away lest anyone have fun on a Sunday.

Lorelei, the Wee frees are Free Presbyterians (and variations thereof, they seem quite a schismatic bunch)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Presbyterian_Church_of_Scotland

For those pointing out that the wedding didn't span a mealtime so therefore OP WBU to have expected food, in that case I think the bride and groom WBU to have decided on that timescale. Seems obvious that they deliberately did it to avoid feeding people.

Ah well, I'm guessing there will be no more gifts for whatever occasion for them, and probably not much of a social life either.

YABU. It's not unreasonable to host people for 3.5 hours with no food. It's not like you were there all day and evening. You sound jealous of them and the fact they earn more than you.

I think people miss the point of weddings - they're to celebrate the happiness of people you care for. Not to 'get your money's worth'. You don't sound like a very nice person.

Let's give OP benefit of the doubt and assume she is travelling home. She can't Mumsnet as she is either driving or shovelling food into her mouth with both hands.

Sorry just back onto MN - astonished by all the replies. I'm pleased I'm not the only one who thinks this is odd. The ceremony was a civil ceremony that we were at but most of the guests weren't and the reception followed. The bride/groom and very immediate family went out for meal in evening. There were no bridesmaids.

botanically they cut the cake but didn't give anyone a slice! That is mean.

Only a 'not very nice' person would think what this couple did was perfectly acceptable.

I don't go to weddings to 'get my money's worth' but it doesn't mean it's okay to treat your guests with such contempt

Most people arriving for 2pm will have been getting ready and travelling and won't have eaten a big meal (plus they are probably expecting to be fed!) and then might have a couple of hours to travel back after the 'party'. Not to provide even snacks is bloody rude when you invite people to get all dressed up and travel a distance.

No the point of weddings is family, celebrating the family you are becoming, and the joining of your families and if you can't treat those family members with a bit of consideration then why bother. Some people would rather spend the budget on a flashy dress and photos and forget about the experience

It does rather sound like they weren't really bothered about a having wedding celebration, they just wanted gifts! Unless they're the most unperceptive couple in the world they have to know that the guests would have been highly unimpressed by this! Were their parents there? My DM would be furious (and very embarrassed) if I did this.