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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wedding with no food

257 replies

newnametoday12 · 25/10/2016 17:26

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 25/10/2016 20:47

The only thing I can think of is whether it might not be the first marriage for one or both of them? I can see a second marriage ceremony being much more low key but even then...

CotswoldStrife · 25/10/2016 20:48

Thanks to the poster who provided the info for the Wee Frees, I wanted to know but was too nervous to Google that phrase!

Most of the guests were not at the ceremony itself - so they just turned up for two drinks?

MrsHathaway · 25/10/2016 20:49

The ceremony was a civil ceremony that we were at but most of the guests weren't and the reception followed.

Hold the phone ... They had A (immediate family), B (ceremony) and C (mingling only) lists for a mini-wedding?!

I'm genuinely baffled by how little self awareness they have.

ethelb · 25/10/2016 20:51

All these people talking about old fashioned normal people weddings, it was (according to family lore) standard to offer a slice of cake and a cup of tea afterwards and tbf people were not expecting much else.

These people offered neither, and from the sounds of it, made no information available that standard food, booze and dancing of 2016 weddings would be available.

I know people who had an afternoon wedding followed by afternoon tea (or in the States, morning wedding followed by a massive amazeballs brunch), but they made it very clear that that was what was happening and a clear end time. And, in case I haven't made it clear offered food!!!

expatinscotland · 25/10/2016 20:53

Figured it wasn't Frees from the OP mentioning there was alcohol.

ohtheholidays · 25/10/2016 20:55

They could have at least stuck some nibbles out and they could have had some background music played on an ipod in a docking station.

That would have cost them under £50 and would have given a real celebration vibe not only for the couple but for all of they're guests as well!

ToffeeForEveryone · 25/10/2016 20:59

Really stingy. At the very least (lots of) canapes and a few rounds of fizz, plus cake.

I think a 3 hour wedding sounds great though!

ThomasRichard · 25/10/2016 21:03

I had a 'day' wedding (no evening reception) but there was an enormous buffet and the guests who had travelled a long way to attend were invited to my parents' house for food in the evening. No food at all is terrible!

Panga63 · 25/10/2016 21:11

Went to a friends smart noon wedding many years ago and, whilst chatting to others after the ceremony, realised that we were only invited to the church and nothing else until an 8pm drinks reception - despite most folk paying to stay overnight in the hotel where the 5pm wedding breakfast (only bride, groom, parents gparents were invited - about 12 people out of a congregation of 80). Most of us traipsed in our titfers and heels to the nearest fish and chip shop - much to the bemusement of the chippy owners. Classy Confused

JustHereForThePooStories · 25/10/2016 21:15

A friend of mine and her husband were invited to a wedding a few years ago. Full church affair, reception in a small boutique guesthouse/hotel to follow, 160 guests.

Got to hotel and were seated in a bar area/reception room (not a pub with food- just a bar set up in a function room). Guests paid for own drinks. Then best man came out to say bridal party and family were to make their way up to the dining room. Everyone assumed that they were just being seated first but no, they all went into the dining room, and the door was closed. A guest stuck their nose in to see what the story was and was promptly (and quite cheerfully!) told that the wedding party were having their dinner and would see everyone back in the bar area in a few hours!

WhyRude · 25/10/2016 21:17

I'm a huge fan of low key weddings and of not wasting money but to provide no food not even some nibbles is outrageous.

🙀🙀🙀

This is Daily Fail worthy. 📰

Trifleorbust · 25/10/2016 21:20

The ones where the wedding party is split up and half fed and half not are making me cringe Blush

trinity0097 · 25/10/2016 21:23

I had a wedding with those timings, we provided a full afternoon tea as the reception, so sandwiches, scones, cakes, tea etc... Plus wedding cake.

ethelb · 25/10/2016 21:26

@trifel I know. I have defended evening reception invites on here before, as it is possible to do them well, ie feed and water them and just generally be nice. I have been to weddings where the evening guests got better food than the 'main guests'. But again, my theme still stands. They got fed! Well!!!

Disclaimer: When I got married I didn't have any evening guests before anyone starts making accusations. Again.

TowerRavenSeven · 25/10/2016 21:27

The last wedding attended we were each given one small appetizer and non alcoholic beverage at dinner time. We had also given a large gift. We agreed next wedding we are bringing an open card and the chequebook and will write the cheque at the reception.

OVienna · 25/10/2016 21:30

Some of the weddings mentioned on this thread - SO GLAD I don't know any of those people who would treat their friends like that.

Yes it's tight OP.

JUSTHERE your story is possibly the worst of the lot. I did think that the bride and groom on page one or two with the guitar and singing all night and no food might win but I am not convinced they weren't on something mind altering and whilst not an excuse at the time could conceivably be embarrassed later. Just's story sounds like calculating grown ups who just didn't mind what they were doing to their guests, managing to convince themselves it was warranted on their speshul day.

OVienna · 25/10/2016 21:31

tower you're a worthy runner up with that tale. And can't say I blame your attitude for future weddings.

ethelb · 25/10/2016 21:32

Agree Ovienna, that sounds v calculated. I'm shocked the venue agreed to it tbh.

shoppingtess · 25/10/2016 21:43

Apple, I like those sort of weddings too. That was how most were, it's called a 'splash and dash'.

Now, all of the ones I've been to like that have been in London, where most of the guests will be London based and usually on a Friday afternoon. Service in a name church (guards chapel, Farm Street, St Margaret's Westminster etc), on to a club for champagne and a slice of cake, couple of speeches and the couple then leave. Guests usually go off in their groups for dinner elsewhere. I personally love them. Beautiful wedding and you haven't missed your weekend.

Highlandfling80 · 25/10/2016 21:45

These stories are shocking. My dsis had a wedding with similar timing but still provided food. Really mean not to.

diddl · 25/10/2016 21:46

"told that the wedding party were having their dinner and would see everyone back in the bar area in a few hours!"

Good grief!

I'd have gone home, I think!

StrangeLookingParasite · 25/10/2016 21:55

YABU. It's not unreasonable to host people for 3.5 hours with no food. It's not like you were there all day and evening. You sound jealous of them and the fact they earn more than you

You sound bonkers. Food has been used to mark celebrations in every culture ans society since they existed. They're miserable mannerless gits.

BlueBlueSkies · 25/10/2016 22:07

Dh and I were invited to a wedding years ago, for a work colleague of DH. It was a 3 hour drive away.

It was a catholic (very long) wedding ceremony, then champagne and speeches, no food or canapes. Then an announcement was made asking those not invited to the wedding breakfast to leave. Most of the guests left, leaving the wedding party to have their meal.

To be fair we were told this on the invitation, so I refused to go. DH went on his own, he said it was awful, all the boring bits and no fun.

paulapantsdown · 25/10/2016 22:19

My brother and his wife had no music at their wedding. Big posh do at big hotel. 100 guests. Lovely trad sit down meal and speeches, and then ..... nothing. No music of any kind. Everyone just sat around. It was incredibly boring. My brother said that he didn't want music so that people could really talk to one another. He then proceeded to sit chatting to his mate from work at night, ignoring everyone.

SIL spent most of the evening upstairs in the room trying to get their toddler to sleep as his alloted bedtime was 7pm and this was not to be deviated from under any circumstances.

They still talk about how it was the best day of their lives!

harrypoooter · 25/10/2016 22:20

I went to a weird one like this! It was a massive Christian thing. Really religious ceremony that was an hour long and the bride was an hour late. Then off to a reception where i excitedly picked up a glass of red from the reception table to discover it was grape juice.... so far so awful.

Then we were called up table by table to get some buffet food but about halfway through there didn't seem to be enough food so people from tables with highs numbers were pushing in to get some food that was left. I was not forward enough to do that so waited my turn dutiful to find.... no food left. None for me or the 5 tables after. So sitting in this freezing marquee with no booze and no food. Awful!

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