Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

I can't believe some people are defending this.

I wouldn't invite guests to anything and not serve them food and drink of some description!

We went to one of the weird London club ones once. No warning that it would have no food and would finish within 4hrs just a service at xpm then afterwards at y club. It is possible I guess that there may have been some subtle wording of the invitation, but certainly nothing like 'join us for cake (if you are one of the nearest 10 guests) and a cava'. We were fairly close family but although some equivalent family were invited for a meal afterwards our side definitely wasn't. FIL may or may not have been fairly blunt to b&g in what he thought of the set up. About 6pm we were all ushered out, gathered up the fun less favoured family members and went for our own meal with one topic of conversation. It was strange because their engagement party had been v lavish and lots of food.

I don't mind what people do for weddings. One of the best was a bring your own dish instead of a present student wedding. Please just tell guests what to expect before the staff start to usher people out of the building.

Weddings in some countries like France consist often of the church then traipsing to the town hall. Dh and I went to one, where the catholic church ceremony lasted 2 hours plus another half hour where we all had to queue up to personally congratulate the B&G in the church before trudging off to the town hall for another half hour ceremony. So all in all the wedding ceremony lasted about 4 hours! We did eventually get fed and very well but I was so thirsty and ready to eat my hand off by the time the food came.

Dh and I went to my friend's wedding. We drove 2 hours to get there. Town hall wedding then reception at her parents house, which consisted of one bottle of champagne between about 12 people and no food, just a cup of tea or coffee. Her mother then preceded to moan and gripe to me about how her dd had decided to get married quickly and against her parents wishes so they had decided not to contribute financially to the wedding even when they could (not massively wealthy or anything) and my friend and her new dh were skint. It was all very awkward and we managed to escape after about an hour and a half. Friend was about 29 or 30 at the time so not young - although very naive. I lost touch with her, they moved abroad and the last time she wrote to me telling of how happy she was school teaching and taking LSD, and the latter was broadening her experiences. We grew apart say the least. She was always a bit odd (I suppose we all are) and only met her husband that once but I thought he was rather weird.

op what do you make of desolatewaist's question? Is that what actually happened?

Yeah there is no way of defending this. And I speak as someone who firmly believes that the wedding industry is out of hand and people should cut their cloth. But come on, as everyone has said, if someone comes round for 30 minutes they get a tea or coffee!

Sounds to me like the Bride and Groom either planned to do some food and ran out of money, or they never planned food but didn't want to admit to it in advance, so didn't tell anyone.

Just sounds like people who are totally lacking social awareness TBH. Totally agree that wedding food can be simple, can be bring and share.....for those times wouldn't have to be a fills scale meal....but at minimum, a slice of cake or some kind of nibbles.........and that if you are only providing a tiny amount of food or drink, or nothing at all, it should be made clear.

The worst thing about this wedding would have been the combination of being hungry AND resentful. Would have been odd to provide no food of any sort, but if that was at least made clear, then people wouldn't have been so resentful and would have eaten in advance) or if it bothered them could have turned down invitation)
The failure of the Bride and Groom to have any appreciation that if not planning to provide any food at all, it needs to be made clear.....is staggering to be honest. Whether they are or not, they then appear greedy for the guests gifts, uncaring about their personal comfort and lacking in empathy....not a good basis for future friendship....and so avoidable, with either little extra expense, or no extra expense and basic communication.

Where's op gone? I want to know what the invite said lol