Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

This sort of thing is the reason why I have started to 'pre-load' with food before weddings.

The last wedding I went to, I went for a carvery on the way there.

Sounds great to me. Was your choice to spend the money, for a three hour wedding you can't have been expecting much!

My sister always takes an emergency mars bar in her clutch bag. Waiting for food is bad enough, no food is awful! I'd have ordered a pizza! - seriously

Top two wedding receptions we have been to, first one, in a miners club, with lovely food, lots of it, sit down meal and great atmosphere, and lovely people. Second one was posh, grooms were both wealthy so held in a beautiful hotel in centre of the city peacocks on the lawn type of place , stables are round with marquee roof, lots of food, drink, dancing, and joy probably because it was one of the first gay weddings in Scotland.

They could've at least forewarned the guests so that they could eat beforehand.

I am not particularly religious now but was brought up a Catholic as were all my extended family, so I have been to many Catholic weddings and they were all lovely. Normal time at service and great receptions, with oodles of food etc I cant believe I am defending them but please do not bash Catholic weddings.

I've been to bring and share weddings, I've been to 'dry' weddings because the couples' religion forbids alcohol, I've been to weddings in parks, on top of mountains, on beaches, in back gardens. One thing in common, you FEED your guests something or tell them there will be no food/it's bring and share/afternoon tea/etc. Yes, it's up to the couple how they celebrate but being inhospitable due to being tight as a gnat's chuff makes them dicks.

No food at all?! Not even a crisp?? With those timings I wouldn't be expecting a sit down or even a buffet but I would expect a few nibbles or afternoon tea - providing nothing looks really tight.

Years ago DH and I travelled to the middle of nowhere for a friend's wedding which was at about 11.30/12. We had an early breakfast before driving down to the wedding but not lunch as it was too early and assumed we'd get some sort of food by about 2 at the latest. The service went on for about 2 hours then we arrived at the reception (a small hotel) and were given teas and coffees but no food (and nowhere to get any). We all waited there without the main wedding party till nearly 6pm before going through for the meal which then took ages to be served. I was so hungry I nearly ate the bowls of potpourri thinking they were vegetable crisps 😳
At least we eventually got some food but it made us think when we got married we served canapés for guests as soon as they got to the reception, the main wedding breakfast, then evening buffet, then bacon butties at 11pm. All went down a storm (although cost us a bloody fortune!)

Yes Catholic weddings are fine. The evangelical Christian wedding I went to had an unusual service, but lots and lots of food and non alcoholic drink served.

The cheapest wedding I went to was one of the best.
Everybody brought food (we were allocated parts of the menu so it worked).
Everybody brought their own booze - so there was more cheap fizzy than you can imagine
Everybody camped next to the venue - no hotels and no childcare issues
A fantastic time was had by all
The only "outlay" was the extra toilets laid on by the bride's parents

I'd have been starving and very grumpy. Takes a lot to persuade me out for a social engagement, so if I'm not fed and watered, would have been well vexed.

Shocked at how many pps are saying it's "boring" and "what did you do" if there was no food and music. Guys, shake your @sses and stuff yourselves at your own expense, that's not what a wedding is.

I don't care if it's a wedding.

You asked people to come somewhere, some of those people had to travel a big distance, they bought you a present.....

And you didn't even give them a cuppa! Just plain RUDE.

I went to an Italian wedding once, no dancing or music - but there was 13 courses of food! (Including 3 dessert)

Amazing....

Odd, I don't think anyone mentioned wanting to 'stuff' themselves? Maybe you've been reading a different thread.

Also, you can write the word ASS, that is allowed you know.

Yes, a wedding is about two people getting married and everything else is surplus. But by inviting people you are playing host and part of your hosting duties is to provide SOME form of food and drink! They were absolutely being unreasonable by not doing this. 3 hours doesn't call for a full sit-down but certainly canapes. If you don't want to feed a hoard, don't invite them, simple!

Although a 3 hour wedding that consists of a ceremony and afternoon tea in plush surroundings sounds AMAZING! How do I get myself invited to one of those.

I would also like to go to a wedding with 13 courses of food. I thought Irish weddings were good until I went to an Indian one. Now I want to go to an Italian one - how many of the courses were cheese-based Meryl?

Ta1kinpeece - Snap! My ultra posh wedding with canapes and champers was also at the Hurlingham Club. That explains why there was no disco!

Notamammy actually none that I can remember...

There was a lot of seafood (which I hate) and there was a bit of fuss over it, but then I was given some things the same as vegetarian groom (risotto) and randomly steak and chips.
After many seafood courses everyone was well jealous of me!

Not so much about food but friends went to a wedding a couple of years ago - reception in the bride's garden - second wedding. Hog roast which was fine. When it came to drinks they were expected to put a pound in a bucket for a glass of (asda) wine/ beer/soft drinks ect which was served from the utility room - They thought, for some reason, cool.. was for charity.. but found later that she had made money on the "bar" which was the whole idea as the reception had "cost her" so she had to make some back. Hideous.

A wedding is about sharing - and I think from what the op had said, it's not really clear what they shared. Rule of thumb- if there are speeches, there has to be at least a drink and some nibbles ( for a small wedding - Most of us could put something together for less than £5 a head).

Best wedding. My friend's - she and he were older (50 and 48) reception - sausages and mash at the pub. Masses of champagne and booze. No photographer or cars or fancy flowers. Dress from eBay.

I would expect such a wedding to have "ceremony followed by champagne reception" written on the invite. Then champagne and cake would be expected, possibly canapes. It's a shame they didn't make that clear.

I used to be amember of achurch where people bought a bit of food on a plate like sandwiches, slices, etc. The weddings never went too long because everyone except the bridal party had to be free to go to the youth group meeting in the evening.

Earnest nuptial masses are longer than Protestant wedding services. My point was that after all bridesmaid prep, proceeding bride down aisle, standing, photos, etc, I was a tired and hungry teenager, and then no food ( unless you consider mints "food".) It was the weird imbalance of bridal display & opulence versus total lack of cosiderstion for guests.

I went to a wedding a couple of years ago where the church service was a 9.30am in the morning, 20 miles from home (so up and getting ready from about 6.30am, no time for breakfast). Ages in the church, ages doing photos at the venue. By about 2pm we got a sandwich each and that was it. The venue was in the middle of nowhere, no restaurant on site (and obviously no caterers as it was just a sandwich).

I know that weddings are special occasions and I don't expect the bride and groom to spend a small fortune feeding everyone 5 star grub but my enduring memory of that wedding is resentment over how hungry I was 😂 If the venue hadn't been so remote guests could have nipped off for a quick bite, but there was nothing for miles.

Worst thing is, the bride's parents who paid for it are millionaires, and fully able to provide a basic meal for full day guests. I have more sympathy when it's a couple with limited funds who are trying their best to have a lovely day.

Oh, and couldn't escape till after 11pm as DH was best man, so no option to skip out early! 9am- 11pm is a long time with just a sandwich.... stingy fuckers

It's a bit odd. I'd assume they had wanted an extremely small wedding but had a bunch of people insist everyone would want to witness the ceremony and give their good wishes even if there was no reception.

I got married with just two guests, and that argument was made to me a lot in the lead-up. Lot's of bollocks about how people would just want to share in my joy and see the actual wedding ceremony, nothing else. If I'd been more naive I might have believed them, but as it was I knew people, including those doing the pleading, would be moody, sour-faced bastards on the day if there wasn't a big spread and lot's of booze and if we ran off to catch our flight without spending the required time with them.

Honestly though I'm not really sure what you were expecting based on the times given. Some couples take that long just to get photos, forget anything else. At absolute best you were going to get a few canapes and a slice of cake in that time-frame, I'm really not sure how you imagined a meal and music and dancing was ever going to fit in.