Wedding with no food

[newnametoday12]

My husband and I have just been to a family wedding where there was no food. One drink on arrival and one for the toast. We paid to the travel there and back. It has cost us a fortune. It was an afternoon wedding, not just an evening party. There was no music/dancing etc. The couple earn far far more than we do. AIBU to feel resentful that I paid so much for a wedding present?

What was the gift? Be cheeky like them and ask for it back.

Pp saying music not necessary, I dunno, I'd probably start singing.

I've been to several very smart weddings with a similar timescale which just had a drinks reception after the ceremony. Tbh, if the times were clearly stated on the invitation, I wouldn't have expected a meal or dancing, probably a few canapes at most. One Christmas wedding involved an Honourable who was a barrister and was in a very grand major London landmark church ceremony and mince pies and mulled wine afterwards. (Though, come to think of it, there was also a string quartet.)

I actually really enjoy those short weddings, because the ones that go on half the night and involve huge amounts of hanging around, choreographed first dances and bridesmaids dancing to Agadoo are a bit much.

Did anyone in the family know that there was no food? That does seem strange!

goldenwondering do you live in Bomont (town in footloose)??

That's so tight

" In my opinion 5 pm is tea time "

Yesterday I was talked into "popping" to look for boots with my (teenage) daughter.

Luckily we'd had a late breakfast as lunch ended up being at 3pm

But back to the OP-I'd probably only have had a light lunch or maybe just a snack before leaving home, in anticipation of food being served!

Out of curiosity did the bride have a fancy expensive wedding dress?

Mince pies and a string quartet is sufficiently festive and sustaining. That's fine. Not a nibble and no source of entertainment is a bit mean and cheerless.

I'm curious!

Can you give us the details of the day? The invitation? Where was it held? What happened after the ceremony? Spill!

Given the timing, I would have assumed that there would be no music or dancing. I have been to a wedding of that sort of timing and I think its quite an old fashioned thing - I think if you go back 50 odd years then that would be the norm. Anyway, the one I went to had tea, champagne and lovely tea things - little sandwiches, cakes etc. Unless something went catastrophically wrong with the caterers, I think this sounds really, really crap.

If it's 2-5.30 it's obvious there wouldn't be a meal or dancing! A few sandwiches or tea and biscuits wouldn't have gone amiss, but the point is to see a couple get married you know!

When I pop round my friends for an hour she offers me a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Was it a child free wedding and people had to pay for childcare.

Was it an expensive ..I am fascinated..

AIBU to expect more no..Although the time would suggest not a long wedding.

I'm with Squoosh
I'd be ashamed if it was my relative.
I hate meaness.
If they were not financially in a good situation I would make allowances ( but it is often the case that people who haven't a whole lot are often the most generous).
Was the bridal party dressed up to the nines.
Were the parents of bride and groom there ?
Were siblings of bride and groom there?
How did they react OP

What is even the point in a 3.5 hr wedding?

What was the invitation wording? If it said wedding followed by reception, then my expectation would be a sit down meal, or at least a sit down buffet. We served our meal at 4pm, had to be out of the room by 6pm (in order to get it at a huge discount), so the timings themselves wouldn't have been a flag to me.

If they just said 'you are invited to our wedding' and the timings 2-5:30, I might have contacted to check what was involved especially if it wasn't local. Had other family members arranged to go off to a local restaurant together? Were there murmurings as the afternoon went on, or were other people in the know?

2- 5.30 doesn't cross a meal time. Drinks and a few nibbles would be fine, but it doesn't sound as if even that was forthcoming!

Could you please give more information, I really can't believe it.
Did she have a wedding dress, bridesmaids, flowers.?
Only one room for ceremony where you all stood, or sat at empty tables, were they decorated?.
A wedding cake, but none offered.?
Drinks, you had to buy yourself.
I mean if they wanted a wedding to remember, that's it then, how could you ever forget.? I bet they are gone on a lavish honeymoon, with what they saved on entertaining their guests.? I know they are family, but sounds like you really weren't expecting this.

I don't mind a short wedding either, but I would expect a few glasses of fizz and a small buffet.

Finishing so early would have been a clue you weren't going to get a meal but I think it's pretty inhospitable to give everyone only a couple of drinks (even at wedding markup prices those half-filled flutes wouldn't add up to a tenner per guest) and not so much as a plate of Quavers to soak up the drinks they then have to buy themselves.

It's a big gap between customary expectations and the reality. And it's a real shame because there exist so many stylish and cost-effective options.

I'd say a short wedding is fine if most of the guests are local or not having to come long distances. If they are...well, it would at least be polite to give them some refreshments/entertainment to make it worth the drive, other than watching two people walk up an aisle.

It sounds like you travelled quite a way to get there OP. They could have, at the very least, provided a map with some likely eateries marked on it, if you went to a place you didn't know well. I have visions of the neighbourhood being crammed with people driving up and down after the wedding looking for a KFC or Burger King.

We went to a wedding like this 20 years ago. Happy clappy service, big marquee in garden of lovely big house. Marquee almost entirely empty. About 100 guests and maybe 10 chairs scattered around. No food, don't remember any drink, no music, no nothing. It was freezing cold and we had to plead with the bride's father for DH's (or DP as he was then) very elderly grandmother to be allowed inside to sit on a comfortable chair by the roaring fire they had going in the house. It was so bad it was funny but we were furious at the lack of provision for people who had travelled from far and wide and some of whom were knocking on. Even now we allow ourselves a rake over the whole day and how awful it was. Dreadful.

Went to a friends wedding a few years ago, short ceremony and then cupcakes and cups of tea/coffee after. Guest knew about this beforehand though.

It would have been easy to provide some cheap nibbles in bowls and a few bottles of fizzy wine. You can buy crisps and party rings in Poundland.