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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neglect or just crap parenting?

401 replies

selly24 · 25/10/2016 16:27

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

OP posts:
MiscellaneousAssortment · 07/11/2016 09:58

Here's a very apt example to add to this thread:

Last night I asked DS nanny/housekeeper if they could come meet me outside to help carry some stuff in. I expected them to bring DS and was a bit taken aback when they appeared without him.

I wasn't too worried but did go ahead to quickly to get to him and to end the situation asap, but I did think, well, he's 6 yrs old and knew we were a few meters away, so it's not a complete disaster.

I found him rather quicker than expected as he'd just come out of the main door of the flats, bare footed, in the dark, and heading off to walk across the car park to find me. He's got lonely and scared so had let himself out of the flat, down several flights of stairs, through the lobby and out of the security door. Argh!!! Nothing happened to him, but, he wasn't thinking about roads & cars driving in the dark through a carpark and not looking where they were going... All of which I've told him a thousand times. His far too vivid imagination meant coming outside to find mummy was far safer to him, than staying where he'd been told to, in his own home. And he had no sense that he'd done anything wrong, he was just very happy to have 'found me'.

He's such a sensible 6 yr old, but all that sensibleness vanished in that moment.

So, just wanted to share and remind people that children really, really are unpredictable.

They can seem sensible and mature, right up until the moment they suddenly aren't.

The nanny was shocked by it and now knows for sure that no matter how quick the errand, it's not worth the risk. And I know to keep reminding people what to do with DS when it's not quite clear.

DS won't be being left on his own for a good long while!

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