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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neglect or just crap parenting?

401 replies

selly24 · 25/10/2016 16:27

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

OP posts:
MaQueen · 26/10/2016 19:34

Words fail me...they really do Sad

Trifleorbust · 26/10/2016 19:34

She was 4 Shock

Sorry, but I do think that is unacceptable. She would have been safer hungry. Or with a takeaway. Or a can of soup. Or toast.

Kahuna · 26/10/2016 19:37

Yes, whilst a 300 mile round trip (6 hours or so) may be "slightly" different to a quick trip to the shops, the point is, that the child was considerably older than 5 - SN issues aside, the parents were SW's and made a "judgement" call that was called into question and found wanting due "child neglect" leading to them losing their jobs and having to complete 100hrs CS. Imagine what the "tariff" would have been had the child been less than "8"....

Natsku · 26/10/2016 19:49

Nothing to eat, I doubt drinking some vinegar and eating some raw flour with have done any good, and there's no takeaways in my town (not any that deliver). The distance from the sofa where DD was sitting to the neighbour's door was less than the distance between downstairs and bedrooms in many houses families live in. She could shout and they would hear her.

PerpendicularVincent · 26/10/2016 19:50

Alone at 4? Shock

MaQueen · 26/10/2016 19:51

Well why on Earth didn't you wait those few extra minutes until your DH got home, then one of you (or all of you) head out for groceries???

Natsku · 26/10/2016 19:52

What part of the shop was shutting in ten minutes didn't you understand? It would have been shut before OH got there.

ARumWithAView · 26/10/2016 19:52

Right -- so there was nothing but vinegar and raw flour in the house? And this escaped your notice until you began to cook? The 'vital part' of dinner you'd forgotten was... food?

Natsku · 26/10/2016 19:53

Slight exaggeration of course but there wasn't enough food for dinner. Was a pretty skint time, I make sure we always have food in now but then I couldn't.

Trifleorbust · 26/10/2016 19:56

No meal is preferable to an injured or dead child, isn't it? She was 4!

ARumWithAView · 26/10/2016 19:56

Exaggeration is only necessary if you're wanting to justify leaving a four-year-old alone and know the actual facts aren't quite up to the job. FFS.

milkjetmum · 26/10/2016 19:59

Not rtft but on my way home from work once (6pm ish) drove by child in pjs and crocs with umbrella in pouring rain on side of busy road. Parked up and asked if he was OK, he was crying and said he was looking for his dad. I'd say he was 5 or 6.

I thought he was lost and started looking up and down the road, but then it turned out he lived on that road, so I said show me your house. We were right outside so I took him in knocked, said loud hello. No one home.

He had been left home alone, and clearly couldn't manage it. I waited with him, then called ss after dad arrived home and I left. Lucky for him I was the one who stopped, who knows how many people would have seen him on that busy commuter Road. It really shook me, I was quite tearful afterwards.

Best case scenario is parents were having a bad day, worst is it was part of pattern of neglect so I did not hesitate to call it in. Poor wee lad

Shine0n · 26/10/2016 20:00

The thought of a five year old child waking up and realising that they have been left home all alone is heartbreaking. OP - please don't ignore it.

Itchyclit · 26/10/2016 20:01

Any parent that leaves a 5 year old alone like that is an utter cunt.

Andcake · 26/10/2016 20:08

Yes anyone who does that doesn't deserve a child and that includes natsku...you risked your child's life. Horrified if I worked for mn I would be looking for your login details and calling ss.
People struggle to be blessed with a child...I have friend who have suffered horrendously trying and then people come along have children easily and leave them alone and at risk!

MaQueen · 26/10/2016 20:11

And was that the only shop in the vicinity...? Or were there shops a bit further away...?

MaQueen · 26/10/2016 20:15

Right, so not only were you happy to leave your 4 year old alone...neither had it occurred to you to bother getting some actual food in.

You say it was tricky at the time, getting food in the house regularly? Fair enough. But, presumably if you had the money to pop to the shop 10 minutes before closing, you had the money earlier in the day, too?

DixieNormas · 26/10/2016 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Natsku · 26/10/2016 20:19

The only shop that was open (small town), it was before the loosened shop opening hours (don't live in the UK).

Child protection know all about my parenting andcake and don't have a problem with it. DD is a client because of her dad's (my ex) mental health issues.

Natsku · 26/10/2016 20:21

I don't know why I didn't get the food in earlier MaQueen, that was a fuck up and I admit that, that's why I've made sure since then to make sure there's something we can eat in the house every day.

MaQueen · 26/10/2016 20:25

Then why didn't you drive to where a shop was open?

witsender · 26/10/2016 20:28

Or get dh to pick up what was needed on the way back?

crashdoll · 26/10/2016 20:28

Just because it isn't a child protection issue doesn't mean it is good parenting, just "good enough" not to meet the threshold for significant harm.

Natsku · 26/10/2016 20:31

I don't drive.

I know it wasn't the best thing to do but DD was fine, and if something had gone wrong she knew what to do and would have done it. In retrospect asking the neighbours to watch her would have been a better idea but she was still fine and the risk of something bad happening were still vanishingly small.

Trifleorbust · 26/10/2016 20:38

Okay, well you did what you did. I'm not sure it's helpful to rehash it any further. No-one is perfect at the end of the day.