Neglect or just crap parenting?

[selly24]

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

Also the child is at school can they not run these errands while they are at school?

I think it depends.

Some on mn would say going outside to hang out washing or post something next door would be included in 'leaving alone' I would say these things are fine. Going five mins down the road to the shop, I would say isn't fine, I'm not in the hysterical 'this parent should be jailed ' camp though.

It takes about 30 seconds for a child to choke on something, or something equally horrifying. Definitely neglect.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/neglect/

talks about inadequate supervision amongst other things

No, I leave my 9 year old if I'm popping to the shop or to the nursery, probally 20 minutes if I get held up. He knows not to answer the door or touch the kettle etc....but any younger not a hope.
But I know people who leave younger children with 10 yr old siblings...I wouldn't do that either as its too much responsibility!

Definitely not on at 5. Regardless of if you were fine, what about if the parent was in an accident?

Anecdotal, "I did it and my child is alive" is merely a sign of poor parenting, and does not equal data.

That just means you're a crap parent too Enb76

well that's you told hey!!!

I am too paranoid to ever do this, but my DP did this on a couple of occasions, I think its often a cultural thing too, and relationship to risk...

You should bring it up with your friend, Selly or offer your babysitting services if she is struggling?

It's not difficult to take a 5 year old to the shops with you or whatever. In fact, it's good for them to interact with the outside world. So what if they don't enjoy it? Children sometimes have to accompany their parents on errands. I would be worrying the whole time I was out if I'd left mine at that age.

It depends on the child, surely. I played out when I was five, in the days when parents weren't watching us all the time. And I also gave me a dd a lot of responsability when she was five as she was a very careful child and needs must.

A neighbour had social services involvement after leaving her ds 5 to go to the shops. Another neighbour called the police because the young boy was trying to escape through a bedroom window. The mother got back with the baby minutes after the police so hadn't been gone for long. I don't get the reasoning though and I can't think of any instance where you would need to leave a five year old home alone.

Bad parenting and certainly neglect.
Neglecting to keep your child safe and cared for.
I'd report if I knew somebody who did this.

Yes shit parenting and downright neglect.

And that goes for anyone on this thread who does it.

Should be reported to social services

Depends on the child. Wouldn't leave them asleep and risk them waking up and not knowing you had gone.

DD who is 5 told her social worker the other day that she can be left alone, social worker said yes, you're getting old enough to be left alone for a little while. Cultural differences, bet no UK social worker would say that.

Think I would too gilly
Apart from anything else I'd be concerned that 5 minutes could turn into 7, 10, then popping to a friends house, then just doing a food shop. By the time her DC is 7 the mum could have gained a false sense of security and lost sight of what's normal and what's not appropriate.

I am too paranoid to ever do this, but my DP did this on a couple of occasions, I think its often a cultural thing too, and relationship to risk...

Yup. MIL and FIL left BIL (5) with DH (1) for several afternoons each week, having shown him how to heat up soup on the gas stove.

essential

I have 2 5yos. They're pretty sensible but they are 5 so no I wouldn't leave them for 15 minutes. Leaving them for 2 minutes to put the bins out feels bad enough. It's all fine until it goes wrong and you come home to find they've been under a bookcase for 10 minutes!

Look at it this way; I teach 5 year olds, and if I left one unsupervised then I would be sacked, and probably pilloried to boot.

DH is now making noises about our DC walking to school alone from Reception, so I'm just putting this down to culture (they're Russian).

I said "nyet".

Are you sure the child is being left home alone? All the mother has actually said is that if she runs an errand and the child wakes up the child is upset. It could be that there is someone there with the the child but that they get upset because it's mum that they want.

zzzzz I don't think that's the point, and rather skewed logic - a five year old left for hours because the mother hasn't returned (accident or otherwise), panicking/feeling abandoned/trying to leave the house to find her alone/potentially no one knowing he is there, is a very different prospect. If mother and child are both in an accident, no one is going to reason that she should have left the child alone at home...

I reported to SS a 5 year old regularly left alone with his 2 year old DS for up to 2 hours. SS visited but took no action.

People are assuming it's the mother leaving the child alone, but all the OP has said is 'parent'.