AIBU to think regifting is actually just plain cruel and heartless, let alone tight-wadding?

[dogsdieinhotcars]

I mean, if someone has bought you a gift, and you rewrap it for someone else...how bloody rude and tight-fisted! I'm all for recycling, up cycling and all that shit, but honestly, how is this not just f***g rude?!

I don't have a problem regifting whether it be presents I receive of presents I give. TBH I do mostly homemade stuff nowadays.......jams, chutneys, floating candles, lip balm, foot cream, soaps etc......and yes they do like them because they return empty jars etc and ask for more.
Though you have to make sure you are not regifting within the same circle........that's pretty tactless.
If I have something I can't regift easily I hand it in to a charity shop.

Barbara you have perfectly put what I believe too. Thank you and also for tip on maps . I mentioned maps because of all the dross I bought last year it was the one thing that got enthusiastic response. .
And yes yes to a bottle of cava and Lindt chocolate or a small basket with posh tea /coffee with Borders biscuits . Strawberry shortbread is divine too.
All easily got from a supermarket shop . Wrapped with love and time spent and maybe shared with loved ones .
I think we get hypnotised when it comes to shopping for Christmas . I did .

DH has the OS Map App - now there's a gift for hikers.

Are people supposed to move into garden sheds just to house all the stuff they don't want just to avoid Pissing people off the one time they go round and the 45 bottles of perfume aren't on display?

EXACTLY.

There is some shit in our house that I'm emotionally and impractically attached to (the last chipped bowl from a set my now late granny gave us, for example) but if I kept every duplicate/unuseable gift I'd ever been given I wouldn't be able to get to the door.

And hell if I cock up when I give you something I don't want you to have to hold on to it forever even if I thought I'd done brilliantly.

We've reduced Christmas gift giving to as few as possible - possibly the PIL think we're tight but saying out loud "let's not do Christmas presents" to our respective siblings and their partners, and also to my parents, was just so liberating.

no one in real life will ever really know the pathalogical hatred you might have for any type of Boots gift set

Yes! not only do I fucking hate their toiletries with a passion (Sanctuary gift sets looking atcha)- the waste!

chemicals x 4 bottles that will pollute the waterways
4 plastic bottles
plastic film
dyed cardboard

for what? a load of shit that's what!!!

I was given a beautiful set of make up by a friend for my birthday which is a couple of weeks before Christmas, I have very sensitive skin and I knew I wouldn't be able to use it, I re gifted it to a different friends teenage daughter for Christmas and she loved it! I don't feel I was "heartless" or "cruel" I feel to throw it away would have been very wasteful and instead it's gone to someone who going to use it.

An example of how crappy the Boots 3 for 2 gift set offer is:

Green and blacks chocolates. £7 in Boots, a fiver everywhere else and 3 for £10 in Asda (and they've put them in the 'For Him' section )

www.boots.com/en/Green-Blacks-Milk-Collection_1864706/

3 bottles on Nando's sauce, in a pointless rack, £12.50 in Boots, £2 a bottle in every supermarket, less when on offer which is pretty much all the time.

www.boots.com/en/Nandos-Fiery-Trio-Rack_1864686/

£11 for some Dove Shower gel and anti perspirant roll on, which is always on offer in one of the supermarkets for a pound or so an item

www.boots.com/en/Dove-Bliss-Booster-Collection-Gift-Set_1893306/

But it's 3 for 2 so it's a deal right

No-one like the grammar police

Or the re-gifting police.

I'm still curious as to who exactly the gift is for.

Why bother giving anyone anything if there are conditions attached.

If the recipient is not able to ensure said gift is used or appreciated all be it by some one else, nor exchange it fir something else more useful because the giver thinks it's all about them....then what's the point?

I think the gift is 'for' the giver. People are generally spenders or savers, stuff lovers or stuff haters.

The people who like giving gifts are probably the ones who like shopping, choosing things, and also receiving or having nice things as treats.

The people who don't like random tat foisted upon them probably also don't particularly like shopping or choosing from all the crap that the big shops seem to think that we want.

Even when we actively say 'please don't buy me anything' I don't want or need anything, the givers say 'oh but you can't not have something to open', can't imagine being denied an opportunity to go and choose from all the lovely things and plough on anyway with their 'thoughtful' gifts.

Gileswithachainsaw And a second hand or cheaper replica is not what I want and I hate receiving that

Oh god this x 1000. I never ask for anything extravagant. Usually I actually want things that are very small but that I would resent buying with my own money but would like more as a gift given with love – for example, a nice butter dish (true story)

But if I ask for something specific or a bit special, then that is really the thing I’d like. Not a half-assed Blackbushe Market knock off; or a different item from the range; or not quite the same version or anything else that isn’t the thing I asked for.

Because when you then end up buying the actual thing you wanted, and the gift giver sees it, they’ll know you didn’t want their version and will possibly feel shit, which then “taints” the nice version you ended up buying yourself. Lose:lose all round

As I said, people need to just get over themselves

If the giver actually gave a shit about the person they are buying fir they'd stop coming up with nonsense excuses ates to why they won't buy or contribute to what it is the person actually wants or needs.

As you say barbara it's all about the shopping and choosing and wanting all the recognition and credit rather than waiting the person you apparently care about to have something they can use..

That is far ruder and much more selfish than any suggestion of a voucher could ever be.

whoops DS has been playing with the neon owl. Perspex dog is in a cupboard (we don't even have a dog, let alone a German Shepherd which it it of). Crocheted hat went to a friend I bumped into on the bus. Candles and incence was passed on or binned.

I am not in a country that is big on charity, sadly, or I'd be more than happy to take them there.

(On a recent trip back to UK I bought winter boots, blazer style jacket, books for me; 2 pairs trousers, 3 books, scarf for DS; book for DH. All charity shops. I'd have bought more but sadly Ryanair luggage allowance is pretty bloody stingey).

Oh I know own shotsit sucks doesn't it.

My house is literally full of cheap imitation stuff.

I'd far rather save up and spend the time to read a review or two or ask on mn and get my dds a good quality well functioning item.

Family however will grab anything from the junk aisles in lidl/aldi or the works as soon as the kids mention any interest in anything.

Result being piles of shit that doesn't really work. And a load of wasted overtime and searching effort on my part.

To me, money and vouchers are a crap impersonal gift and it's quite grabby to ask for them. Says, no rubbish you've pick, just the ££.

What's wrong with giving someone money or vouchers towards something that they are saving for? I always give cash it vouchers to fussy teens as I know that they will get a greater kick out of shopping and choosing than I ever would. I would rather someone had exactly what they wanted rather than something that lived in the back of the wardrobe forever.

Giles your post of 11.06 is spot on. Me bloody too.
Nothing worse than someone going to the trouble of parting with cash for the inferior version of the the thing you want, when you would far rather wait till you can fund the desired version that you would never expect anyone to fork out for in a million years, yourself.

This thread in itself, with all the wrangling about whether X is a 'good' present or a 'crap' present shows clearly that many gifts will always be unwanted - simply because we often don't accurately judge what other people pull like. It is a fact! It is more likely if we don't put any thought into gift giving, but also quite likely even when we have spent time and effort and possibly lots of money. It's just something we need to accept and not to become obsessed by and judge people by. Our friendships and family relationships shouldn't be defined by the gifts we give (and don't give) - we don't show our love and care through these, as has been amply demonstrated on this thread.

If you give and receive gifts you will always get some you don't like. You then have to decide what to do with that stuff. There are many options.

YABU and ridiculous to suggest re-gifting is cruel and heartless but yes, it can sometimes be tight or a bit thoughtless.

I do it for the duplicate jigsaws/toys the kids get and also several (nice but not for my skin) gift sets on DDs many class TAs and students teacher.

I am always careful to remember where gifts came from and that they would never be re-gifted within the same group of friends. Doubt anyone except my DH even knows I do it.

I agree with the posters who hate the whole gift-buying culture. I mostly succeeded in putting a stop to it over the years with friends but have found having kids started it all off again. The description of fighting the rising tide of plastic is very appropriate. I would much rather only do immediate family. For cost, hassle and waste/clutter reasons. Plus making the children so unappreciative due to the sheet volume of crap.

And a second hand or cheaper replica is not what I want and I hate receiving that

"But it's just the same" - no, chances are it isn't, actually, particularly if it's for a teenager.

And the more expensive version can be wrong too: again, particularly for teenagers.

My example which I'm exploring re gifting: Debenhams gift card. We don't live anywhere near a Debenhams so it means a day trip. Sainsbury/Matalan would have been much less glam as a present but since I live within nipping distance of both I'd now be in possession of a new jumper or two, rather than a piece of plastic.

Vouchers are a bit shit unless they cover all the cost of the thing. If they don't cover the whole cost then you're obliging the recipient to spend their own money to be able to use your gift; unless you think they go there all the time anyway in which case you might as well have given them the cash.

Ha yes. A cheaper version from the aisle of junk which is there about two weeks meaning you can get a refund but not a replacement...

Most definitely not the same.

I for one cannot afford to constantly replace stuff that's broken or doesn't do what I need it to do when I coulda bought the original one I wanted in the first place. Often with the option of getting parts replaced should there be a problem.

I got a bootle of wine last xmas. I don't drink alcohol. What was I supposed to do with it?

I regifted it to somebody who drinks wine. It's what Jesus or Keith Chegwin would have done.

No, TiggyD, thats cruel and heartless, as well as mean! You're supposed to either force yourself to drink it, or keep it forever.

Giving things to people who would enjoy them is not ok, apparently.

Regifting is actually more polite than a family member I know who will thrust the gift back at you and says "I'm never going to use this so you may as well keep it". Much better to smile sweetly, say thank you and pass it on to someone you think will like it.

I was going to say if regifting is inappropriate - which it can be, discreetly giving it in to a charity shop would be my first choice. I have done this in the past. What they don't know won't hurt. Although I always say to someone when I give them a gift if they don't like it/already have it I'm happy to give them the receipt to change it for something they would prefer. Or I just include a gift receipt. I'm not easily offended though!

I don't understand why people don't just give the unwanted gift (ie tiggys wine) to someone who will like it as a nice gesture, then buy them an actual present you have paid for/ chosen for birthdays/ Xmas.

None of the regifters will explain it! I can only conclude its because they really are tight