AIBU to think regifting is actually just plain cruel and heartless, let alone tight-wadding?

[dogsdieinhotcars]

I mean, if someone has bought you a gift, and you rewrap it for someone else...how bloody rude and tight-fisted! I'm all for recycling, up cycling and all that shit, but honestly, how is this not just f***g rude?!

And if you gift aid regularly to a particular charity shop you may have the pleasure of getting a thank you note from the charity.

... and a number to put on your tax return, to get a rebate on higher rate. Which is definitely a pleasure.

Never have re-gifted and never would. If I receive a gift that I do not like or need for any reason I say thank you and take it to the charity shop. I'm not ungrateful, I appreciate that someone has taken the time and money to get me a gift. I just pass it on to someone who needs it more.

YABU

Regifting is using stuff that otherwise is unwanted. It's more environmentally friendly and perfectly reasonable.

Get over yourself.

As long as they don't regift the present straight back to you it's fine.

My SIL had a penchant for all things Radley - I couldn't stretch £ to adding to her handbag collection - so I bought her a Radley purse for Christmas . Guess what I got back 3m later for my birthday? And I don't even like Radley!

Jeez don't you have better things to get upset over? What are people supposed to do with thoughtless, unwanted or unsuitable gifts?! Bin them or store them in the loft?

I must say I was new to the world of re gifting when I met DH family, sil gave me a gift I thought looked a bit battered and I know now she is a re gifter and yes she is the tightest meanest person I have ever come across.

I think there is an etticute in re gifting, I didnt feel it was appropriate for SIL to re gift a battered old gift to me, and that aside from other things has always affected my view of her. Over the years I have seen her re gift stuff to my children, her only nieces - and I have wondered if she has a shred of shame in her body.

However I also believe there is a time and a place for re gifting and in some cases its a very good thing to do but I would never expect someone to re gift in the same family for instance where the giver would be exposed to the fact their gift had been re jected and passed on.

Taking stuff to a charity shop is also a form of regifting

Perhaps a more moral form though ? Because re gifting saves you money so you benefit monetarily from someones gift, in giving to charity your giving the charity the benefit of that money as well as the buyer from the charity.

My DS makes me various 'gifts' for birthdays, Christmas, fathers day etc. I find them very handy for using as presents for in laws. I shall keep doing so until he is old enough to buy me something I actually want

I don't think it's rude or tight, just sensible. We all have way too much stuff so why hold onto something you won't use when someone else might? Especially with children's birthday party gifts. One year my daughter (known for being arty) received 4 different jewellery making kits. Any one of them would have been an appropriate, thoughtful present, however nobody needs that much homemade jewellery.

I know a friend of mine has regifted to my daughter. Her daughter's birthday is 2 weeks before dd and her daughter said in mine and dd's earshot but not her mum's, "Yeah, I got given this but I didn't really want it." Neither me nor dd were offended though I'm sure my friend would've been embarrassed if she'd known her daughter told us.

I regift but am not tight, cruel etc.
I give nice things, not tat, to people who will like them. Like an earlier poster I sometimes get Jo Malone candles/perfume from ppl at work. My DH hates the smell so I regift (usually to his cousin who loves it and knows no one at my work. How is it cruel/ tight to give someone a £40 candle that I can't use myself?

Well OP my sil bought my DS a girlie baby grow, it had pink bows on it. It was also size newborn and was given when DS was a month old (he was 9lb when born) we regifted a couple of weeks ago to family member who had baby girl. We had already given them loads and it was brand new from next and seemed a shame to waste.

Completely agree with op and I'm sick of reading people's comments trying to justify it !The only circumstance where it's ever ok is if you are so so broke you couldn't possibly afford anything else and the circumstance which you are in means you couldn't possibly not send a gift ! No don't keep it in the back of a cupboard ,send it to the bloody charity shop but fgs don't pass it off as your own gift paid with using your own cash it's so rude

My very close friend gave me a Jo Malone Candle for my birthday. I was madly allergic to it. Gave it to my SiL who was absolutely thrilled. Should I have told my friend her present was a nightmare for me or let her believe (as I did and as I would have been if not allergic) that it was a fantastic and thoughtful present. I wasn't cruel or heartless. Quite the opposite.

Oh for goodness sake fififerry, that's clearly not the same thing

Every Christmas i get usesless crap from my mums side of the family. I'm 27, they've had no input in my life whatsoever since my mum died when i was 20, and i can count the number of times i've seen or heard from any of them since on one hand. Birthdays they either forget completely or i get a tenner in a card, but Christmas they always do presents. Last they saw me i was overweight, and i have really curly hair i prefer straight that until about 6 years ago i battled to get straight til i paid £100 for a brill pair of straighteners. They always buy me massive sized t-shirts (bigger than the biggest size i was when they were regularly in my life) which i find insulting, which have awful designs on i would never wear even in the right size. Or i get a bag full of various lotions and leave in treatments to help straighten hair that just make it a sticky, greasy mess that i never use. On top of that i get the generic bubblebath/shower gel/soap smellies sets (which they should KNOW i'll never use as i have OCD and only use antibacterial products) those really childish nail varnish sets made for 10 year olds or garish cheap brand make up, when i never wear make up. And last year i got quizzed after christmas about how much did i like the make your own button baubles set i got bought "Because you love crafty stuff!". I categorically HATE craft sets, my sister is the one that likes them, it was pink and purple when my house and all our previous decorations were white silver and blue, and we haven't decorated/celebrated Christmas since we found out my mum was seriously ill to the point she was dying on Christmas day 2009. The last 3 years worth of is sitting in bags still cluttering up the house, this year i'm telling them not to bother at all. If i knew anyone at all that would like any of the crap i get bought by these people i'd happily re gift it. I'm just goin to end up binning most of it when i havve a big clear out this weekend.

roversandrhodes that's the bit I hate, passing it off as your own gift! Give it someone as an nice gesture, not wrapped as a gift! Tell them it was an unwanted gift.
I guess I sort of get the expensive candle stuff. I wouldn't moan if someone gave me that!!

Oh, so you have gift snobbery... it's ok to regift if the gift is in a suitable price bracket.

;)

My rules for regifting:

1. Only regift something that you would ACTUALLY BUY for the recipient (i.e. You feel they would actually love the item)

1. Only regift things that are brand new, with tags, not battered in any way

1. Only regift to people who will have no contact with the original giver

1. Make sure you say thank you when you receive the gift, even if you know you won't use it

1. If you get given "junk", that is battered, or something that none of your friends would like, bin it or give it to charity instead

1. Only regift if you wouldn't be offended to find out a friend had given you something that was a regift

I have no problem with "pretending" that I've bought the gift. Mainly because I couldn't care less about how much a friend has spent on me if I love the gift. Plus I hardly go on about "Oh this took me aaaages to find in the shops, and spent so much money on it..." Because, y'know, I'm a normal person

I wouldn't be impressed with a Jo Malone candle because it would be no more of a gift to me than one that cost about 80 pence from ikea - I just don't see the attraction and would think 'You spent all that money and all I got was a fucking candle'

Well my birthday is January 2nd so I get given lots of re-gifts or boots sale stuff. I actually don't mind that much - at least people remember (many don't or don't think I want a present or even to celebrate looking at you mum because of when it is)

I used to have a re-gifting cupboard but I can't be arsed anymore, things would sit in there for a couple of years because frankly I don't know anyone who would want an oven mitt with an embroidered chicken on it! I'd be embarrassed to pass this stuff on as a 'gift'

I do still buy gifts in the Christmas sales though which is a habit I should probably stop.
I buy pjs for all my nieces and nephews from m&s but I can just see my sils going there to change the size and the sales assistant saying sorry they were last years everyone knows I have zero cash though so maybe they don't mind??

Who had a crocheted mustard hat up top??? I've been looking for one of those!

kirsty

Those are the rules I go by.

I would certainly never dream of giving some old battered box of something that I've had in my attic 10 years.

AmeliaJack

^I keep a present cupboard at home so anything appropriate goes in there and gets re-gifted.

Other things might go for raffle prizes, to charity shops or to our local food bank.^

this is me too...in fact DD2 got so many extra and duplicate toys at her birthday that I kept half a dozen back to give to the local storehouse for them to use as Christmas gifts so many children don't get much...wher as my DD does not need another 25 gifts

BarbaraofSeville

Love a fancy candle myself, but I used to work at Molton Brown as a student and I distinctly remember someone eying up one of our £70 candles and saying loudly to her husband: "it's like burning money!"

She was so right, I've always remembered that and now when I buy my own expensive candles I have a little smile to myself.