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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what wedding mistakes you made....

228 replies

ILiveForNachos · 23/10/2016 16:26

With the kitchen and bathroom threads it made me think of the the things people wouldn't do if they got married again (or things they would do if they had the chance again)......

OP posts:
RaingodswithZippos · 23/10/2016 18:53

Oh and we had a registrar with a speech impediment. I know it's horrible, and it's not his fault. I cringe now. But my DH and best man both kept catching my eye as I was repeating my vows and I dissolved into giggles, so much so that I was not sure if I was legally wed because I had been laughing too much. In my defence I was very young. And my DH and his best man are very immature.

0dfod · 23/10/2016 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCatsMother99 · 23/10/2016 18:59

I'd put my foot down more on the day. My sister was so imposing on my day for a number of reasons, I ended up getting really upset because of her at one point, and I wish I had told her to calm down, stop taking over and leave me alone right at the beginning.

Took me a long time to want to talk about my wedding after the day or even think about it as I ended up so stressed out and upset about it in the end. Stupid really as so easily could have been avoided if I had stood up for myself and not tried to keep her happy over my own happiness on my wedding day.

BantyCustards · 23/10/2016 19:02

Not RTFT so I'm guessing my answer will be quite ubiquitous:

I married the wanker.

GeekyWombat · 23/10/2016 19:14

MadHatter The photographer was the one thing my husband and I argued about. I'd worked with a few different photographers for work and knew one who I absolutely wanted to photo the day. He did 'mates rates' but it was still £1k, although he threw in amazing albums for us, both sets of parents and grandparents. I don't regret it in the least, and my DH grudgingly admits now that he's happy we paid for it - neither of us like posing or are particularly photogenic, and we don't have tonnes of photos of our wedding all over the place but there were certainly enough photos that we loved to have framed, and a lot of our favourite photos are ones of family and friends caught in little moments (eg DH's mum and grandmother both with tears in their eyes but also laughing in the ceremony) that we wouldn't have seen otherwise.

In terms of things I wouldn't have worried about if I did it again... The sit down buffet two hours after a three course meal was a bit pointless, although it did mean we had lots of cheese left for the next few days :)

Luciferbox · 23/10/2016 19:18

I booked a funky vintage car that didn't fit me and my Dad on the back seat as we are both 6 foot plus and I didn't factor in my dress. It broke down and I had to hitch a lift in the photographers car. I sat in his dog basket on the back seat.

MurunB · 23/10/2016 19:34

Deciding I would make my own wedding dress, even though I hadn't made anything before, and not getting a professional photographer.

Having said that, the state of my wedding dress probably makes the absence of many photographs a bit of a mercy!

LittleWingSoul · 23/10/2016 19:38

I regret not eating more than a couple of bites of any of the food we'd so lovingly chosen, a friend who runs a cafe had gone all out and put on a lunch that was served at the table (quiches, tarts, salad, cold meats, whole salmons...) but I couldn't eat a bite! Ditto the mexican street food that arrived in the evening.

Regret not making my sister my chief bridesmaid, she is my best friend. The girl I since chose to be my CB has gone NC Confused Also, be nice to your bridesmaids! My gaggle of girls had never really been involved in weddings and didn't know what was really expected of them and I wasn't very nice about this the day before when I was at breaking point trying to get the hall set up. The most important thing was that they were there and celebrating with me, in the end.

Don't let your photographer leave early! Mine left before a big surprise my mum had planned for me and would have loved professional photos of the looks on everyones faces.

I DON'T regret: making my own dress and most of the decorations, doing an impromptu speech, not having a standard 3 course roast dinner thing, wedding cake as pudding, pretty much not leaving the dance floor after the first dance, not having posh cars or favours, wearing converse instead of shoes I couldn't walk in, wearing pretty much my own every day make up (it is a myth that you need loads of slap for good photos!) and of course... I don't regret marrying my DH!

TippiNoodlegruder · 23/10/2016 19:44

I'd wear a proper wedding dress.
I thought it would be silly given it was my second wedding, but really nobody would have thought that. Or they would have kept it to themselves. I had a lovely dress but it wasn't a wedding dress, and now I will never wear one!

I wouldnt change anything else though.

theclick · 23/10/2016 19:47

Letting one horrible family who think only they are allowed happiness affect my mood throughout planning - they just couldn't stop silently bullying us. Them.

crayfish · 23/10/2016 19:56

We got married away from home (not abroad) with just 17 guests. It was perfect.

We were railroaded into having a massive party when we came home though and I hated it. It was extra stress, extra money and felt like a tacky add-on to what had been a lovely experience. I really regret letting people push us into it because I felt like it soured the whole wedding a bit.

NotYoda · 23/10/2016 20:04

crayfish

Similar here (and another person upthread)

DangerousBeanz · 23/10/2016 20:10

I wouldnt have got so pissed at the reception that I spent my wedding night on the bathroom floor with my head in the loo whilst sitting in a small puddle of wee.

It wasn't clever to drink champers straight from the bottle and I know that now.

MadHattersWineParty · 23/10/2016 20:13

Thanks Geeky!

I think it's something I definitely want but good advice about shopping around. My friends recently paid for a 'top' London in-demand photographer and most of the photos they've ended up with are arty Instagram-style pictures of a pair of shoes or a tie, the back of someone's up-do (not even the bride!) and a bouquet slung insouciantly onto a table at the reception. Oh, and all the bride and bridesmaid's make-up and hair stuff slung all over a dressing table after getting ready!! They hardly took any pictures of the couple or guests at all, and they were paid top-dollar.

moreslackthanslick · 23/10/2016 20:19

Our wedding was a dream but I wish I had got it videoed. We wouldn't have bored people with us just would like to put it on while pissed feeling nostalgic.

Doje · 23/10/2016 20:21

Getting a wedding car. I didn't want one, but didn't have a way of getting to the venue. It was looking like I was going to get a taxi which felt a bit depressing.

It was good for a few pictures, but then had a very slow drive with my dad, that felt a bit awkward because someone told me he was going to give me the "if you don't want to do this, you can back out" speech which would have been really cringy. (He didn't do this in the end!)

At the other end, it just felt sad that I'd spent money on a beautiful car no one would see other than me and my dad.

Oh and I'd have got married an hour or so earlier!! 3pm ceremony in December, meant the light was gone for any outside photos. It was a gorgeous cold, but sunny winter's day and the photos could have been great.

DeaganHouse · 23/10/2016 20:40

We went to Vegas with 7 family and friends. Regret nothing!

OonaLoona2 · 23/10/2016 20:47

I would have invited less people, I was kind of pressured into inviting people I didn't really want to invite and spent far too long on the day making small talk with them rather than talking to the people I wanted to.
I would have had a smaller cake. It was amazing and a real wow point but it was so big so much of it got wasted. Could have saved some money there.
I wish I'd chosen a different first dance song. We have one that is very special to us and our children but I was adamant we couldn't use it because it was the wrong tempo! We eventually picked something different that meant nothing to us and I feel sad whenever I hear it.

Catra · 23/10/2016 20:53

I wish 'we'd stuck to my budget - paying it off financially crippled us for the next year. I didn't visit a single bridal shop as I wanted something a bit different so I got my dress, invites, jewellery, rings and decorations from Etsy. Most of them came from the US and I hadn't factored in the import charges!

Wouldn't change anything else though. It truly was the best day of my life.

oleoleoleole · 23/10/2016 21:17

First time married wrong man

Second time none, it was perfect, 18 of us. But the. We decided we ought to have a party for all our friends, cue £500 wasted!

OP posts:
maisiejones · 23/10/2016 21:30

The groom. 😀

rogertherabbit · 23/10/2016 21:30

I loved my wedding but was very stressed in the morning as I don't like to be centre of attention
I had a really long (expensive) veil and wouldn't do that again - it kept getting trodden on which nearly pulled my hair down a couple of times. Even when it wasn't being trodden on it was a pain to carry around
Should have allowed more time for photos - didn't get much time for just pics of DH and I, or many pics of my amazing dress (which was also expensive but well worth it - I can't believe how much I spent on it sometimes, but the only people who know how much it cost are my mum and best friend. DH has a vague idea I think but never told him the actual number...)

minipie · 23/10/2016 21:33

Regret not sorting my skin out beforehand

Regret sitting DH's old mates all together - they behaved really badly

Regret asking my dear friend to do a reading - I'd forgotten she hates reading in public and she was too polite to say no so I still feel very guilty for putting her through it

Regret planning a very active honeymoon, we could have done with more chill out time on beaches

TroysMammy · 23/10/2016 22:56

Not to get married in January in Wales. There was a storm the night before and the electricity went off in my parents. I sat in a bath filled by 4 saucepans of varying sizes heated on the gas hob, in the dark. I put my curlers in by candlelight. In the Registry Office and restaurant they didn't have a powercut.

My Dad isn't in any photos after the ceremony because he went back to his car because he was freezing his ass off. What about me in a flimsy dress Dad?

Our honeymoon was a night in a hotel on the Gower which was badly affected by the storm. A generator provided light and heat in the bar but we had to go to our room by candlelight clutching hot water bottles.