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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what wedding mistakes you made....

228 replies

ILiveForNachos · 23/10/2016 16:26

With the kitchen and bathroom threads it made me think of the the things people wouldn't do if they got married again (or things they would do if they had the chance again)......

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 23/10/2016 16:52

I wish we had just invited our close friends and family and kept the costs down, rather than invite loads of people that, to be honest, we weren't really that worried about and spending a small fortune catering for them.

Groovee · 23/10/2016 16:53

I wouldn't invite my dads other children. My. Day was made. Into being about them.

flagnogbagnog · 23/10/2016 16:55

I wouldn't have spent as much money! We had a big do, it was a lovely, relaxed affair but honestly thinking back I wish we'd just got married at a registry office and maybe had a party sometime later.

Oh also, I wouldn't have made my own invites and place settings. Spent the night before the wedding working on the place settings and I just wished I'd had the time to chill with a bottle of wine.

DixieWishbone · 23/10/2016 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 23/10/2016 16:56

I had family members who did flowers, cake, car, dress, so we didn't spend a lot of money. So if I married again I would do that the same. All the money went on feeding 100 people at the reception and a further 200 in the evening. If I ever get married again, I would get married as late in the day as possible and invite everyone to that, and just have one reception/evening party with one lot of food, and it would be very relaxed, no table plans or seating plans, just lots of fun hopefully!.

although I too am with cat in that the main thing I would do different is not marry XH Grin

JoJoSM2 · 23/10/2016 16:56

I'd have got a massive dress and a long veil. I wasn't too fussed at the time so my dress was quite plain and no veil.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 23/10/2016 16:58

Letting my Mum talk me out of having a James Bond theme song for our first dance.

And the fucking DJ!! I told him we wanted easy listening to start, then dance music later. He played Agadoo and Music Man shite all evening... Angry

CeeCeeEnnEss · 23/10/2016 16:59

Making favours. Just buy them. Or don't do them. We had jars of sweets with labels on them which doubled as place setting names and a reminder of what people had ordered to eat... but still, many evenings spent doing them!

NotYoda · 23/10/2016 16:59

I would have stuck to the very small wedding we wanted, and not bowed to pressure and ended up with a half-arsed compromise that upset some people I cared about (and some I didn't).

So, wedding ceremony, followed by pub

foxtrotoscarfoxtrotfoxtrot · 23/10/2016 17:00

I think I was a bit controlling. I had a 'no kids' wedding. This caused upset with DH's family, and with the benefit of hindsight kids would have been fun. I also argued with my DM about inviting my sister's in-laws. I caved in the end, but it was a stupid argument and on the day they were hilarious. The venue was rubbish at bringing out the wine, so her PIL went into the kitchen. Put a bottle in each pocket, one in each hand, and went round topping up glasses, and cracking jokes (he's French, not many people could understand him) but he made the day Grin

trufflesnout · 23/10/2016 17:00

The mistake people always make with photographers is thinking it's about the kit. A decent photographer can get good shots on almost any old thing - an amateur who likes photography because they enjoy the technical aspects of the hobby is just an amateur with an expensive camera.

Wedding photography is a pain in the arse because any old sausage can buy a DSLR and set themselves up as a 'photographer', but imo someone who actually has a trained eye and not just the latest Canon is worth their weight in gold.

Roseformeplease · 23/10/2016 17:00

Not let my parents (divorced, very bitter) compete with each other to invite and insist on more and more guests - people that I didn't know. My Dad's bloody accountant. My step mum's nieces visiting from overseas (3 of them). My Mum's friend who I had never met and who she bitched about as soon as the woman had said she was coming. An old gardener of ours (lovely man, wanted him) plus his carer (fine) and carer's wife and teenaged son......

It went on and on and on.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 23/10/2016 17:01

My best friend massively regrets not getting a professional photographer.

They got a 'friend of a friend' who was a hobbyist.

She didn't realise how much she wanted good photos until she didn't have any.

Spend as much as you can afford on a photographer.

neonrainbow · 23/10/2016 17:01

I would have spent more on a better photographer. I've got some stunning photos but he missed out some key ones that a photographer shouldn't miss.

Goingtobeawesome · 23/10/2016 17:02

Look in the mirror before I start having photos done.

Not trust future MIL to know how things should look.

Invite my oldest friend. I'm still mortified I didn't and my only defence is we are 400+ miles apart and I assumed too far given she had three children under six so didn't even think.

NotYoda · 23/10/2016 17:03

I think you have to be true to who you are. If you like parties, you may like a big wedding. If you don't (I don't), then don't.

I agree with some others on here who don't like to think about their wedding.

Sad, but at least I married a good man and we are still together 25 years later

muddyboots · 23/10/2016 17:03

I had bought gift bags for all of the children (outdoor marquee no formal sit-down meal kind of wedding) and I carried them around with me in a carrier bag for hours trying to hand them out. I'm holding a plastic carrier bag in loads of photos from the day.

Why didn't I just ask someone else to distribute them? Confused

chosenone · 23/10/2016 17:04

We had it cheap and cheerful with no sit down meal. I loved that! A big party with live music ...but i was slightly too tiddled and i didn't eat one morsal of the canapes or beautiful buffet Sad i wasn't going to have a photographer until the last minute and used big day productions. A nationwide company... cheapest package £250 and they're fab!!

DiegeticMuch · 23/10/2016 17:04

We had a lovely small, low-key, intimate wedding at 11.30am with seven guests - the outlay of £1500 was spent mainly on a champagne lunch at a gorgeous hotel near the registry office. It was great. However, I bought the first dress I saw (for £140) rather than searching properly. Also, I spent £35 on a blow dry an hour before, and looked scarcely different in the pics!

redskytonight · 23/10/2016 17:05

Letting my parents guilt me into accepting money towards the wedding ("we've been saving our whole life for our only daughter's special day yada yada"). It meant I felt obliged to change things to satisfy them.

44PumpLane · 23/10/2016 17:05

If I could do over these are the things I would change.....
I'd ignore my grumpy husband and pay more for a photographer! I ended up getting a very inexpensive deal on someone just starting out. They weren't brand new though and I liked the way they used light, but a very small portfolio to look through. When I got my pics back from the day there are lots that would have been so much better had they been framed properly or had they taken 2 steps back in order to get all of my dress in. I'll never be able to get a do over and to be honest I'd rather have spent more and had better pictures.

Only other thing is that I would have taken more time to get a dress. I love my wedding dress, I felt like a fabulous bride in it and it was really "me". It was the only dress that made my cry when I tried it on. But I allowed myself such a short time to find a wedding dress and my friend is getting married and we've been everywhere looking for a dress for her and it's been brill- I wish I'd enjoyed that bit a bit more!

So all in all very little I'd change!

My florist actually died about 6 weeks before my wedding and I had to run about and find someone who would be willing to do my bouquets during peak wedding season, so we didn't end up having flowers for the tables, literally just bouquets and button holes. It was fab! Saved loads of money and didnt miss them at all! Bought £7 white ikea table lanterns and pillar candles for all the tables and now when we have people over we have lovely lanterns to use to decorate!

Mozfan1 · 23/10/2016 17:06

Nothing

Eloped to Vegas, best thing we ever did

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 23/10/2016 17:07

I spent ages stressing over the damn cake and no one ate any because we forgot to cut it properly! I wish I instructed my dad to take charge of that bit.

strandedabroad · 23/10/2016 17:07

We spent too long taking formal photographs. They were lovely but we took far too many (think endless variations of different family members, PILs with BIL/SIL/with/without children). Bit silly. We should have spent some of that time taking more candid photos of the two of us (and the dog in his bow tie, I will always regret not taking a good photo with him in!).

BlueBlueSkies · 23/10/2016 17:07

First wedding married the wrong man. Bullied into have bridesmaids I did not want or like.

Second wedding - perfect, we ran away to Vegas!