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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what wedding mistakes you made....

228 replies

ILiveForNachos · 23/10/2016 16:26

With the kitchen and bathroom threads it made me think of the the things people wouldn't do if they got married again (or things they would do if they had the chance again)......

OP posts:
DanGleballs · 23/10/2016 17:43

Whoops, wrong thread Blush

Pinkheart5915 · 23/10/2016 17:46

No regrets here

We got married in San Francisco city hall. Just Me, DH and few week old ds it was perfect. We told family and friends that we had got married the following day, They had a surprise party for us once we got home

KatharinaRosalie · 23/10/2016 17:47

I really wish I did some serious low-carbing before the wedding and was about 5 kilos lighter. I have one of those faces that looks very different when I'm just a few pounds heavier, and while I was looking fine, I still have to live with photos where I'm not looking my best.

Longdistance · 23/10/2016 17:49

I don't know why I bothered with a wedding cake. Now I think about it, those different cheeses layered would have been more up our street.

The photographer wasn't that great either. My db's bf did a better job just clicking away randomly getting great shots.

ShowMeTheElf · 23/10/2016 17:50

My only regret is not insisting that the bridemaids (our DDs) packed flats for dancing. One took off their shoes for the Ceilidh to dance in tights, slipped, dislocated her knee and broke her wrist. I ricked my ankle jigging to one of the daytime musicians and didn't manage the ceilidh at all but it gave me more time to catch up with guests.
her knee slipped back in and we didn't realise the wrist was broken until next day
In spite of this it was a fantastic day. Still look back smiling every time I think of it.

justkeepongoing · 23/10/2016 17:51

Hand embroidered wedding invites, courtesy of moi. Lovely to look at but painful to do. Do not think about doing the same....you'll live to regret it!

justkeepongoing · 23/10/2016 17:53

Invites were done 25 years ago and very much of the time!

Tobebythesea · 23/10/2016 17:54

My dress. It wasn't right but I couldn't find one I liked in my budget.

CuppaSarah · 23/10/2016 18:00

I do regret getting s photographer, wr weren't worried about photos, but worried we would regret not getting any. So we hired a cheap photographer just starting out. But me and my husband felt so awkward, the beautifully posed photos have our awkward faces looking like we want the ground to swallow us up. The candid photos guests took though were lovely and I much prefer them.

I also regret making my sister maid of honour. She was awful, nasty and went behind my back to change things I arranged. Should have had my amazing best friend, but if I hadnt made my sister maid of honour my mum and sister would havr behaved even worse than they did.

Other than that, it was amazing, I got very drunk(but I handle my booze well so no chance of me ruining my evening) are amazing food, danced to my favourite music and got a lovely mcdonalds in my dress afterwards.

Oh also I would have regretted not finding a dj who stuck with our slightly odd requests. He dutifully played the Pokemon theme song and I'm on a boat and even complimented our choices. It was amazing

AndWhat · 23/10/2016 18:01

I regret choosing my photographer, didn't realise it was a "family firm" and he sent his son who didn't have a clue.
Not losing weight, I only had a few sample dresses to try in my size and the rest I had to guess how they would look on me Hmm loved my dress in the end but had no enjoyment shopping for it!
Not realising anyone could sign the register for me in church it didn't have to be a "chief bridesmaid" or even a female as I would have chosen my dad.
Paid for someone to do my make up. It didn't look any different to how I did my own at the time.
Lastly, I would have told my DH what I needed help with before he left the venue the night before to get pissed!

maldini · 23/10/2016 18:03

Our photographer was one of our main expenses for the wedding. SO worth it.

FlossieFrog · 23/10/2016 18:03

Not confirming all details with the venue just before the wedding. We confirmed starter and main course (where guests had a choice) but not the dessert or evening buffet details. Consequently they just used what had been in the original quote and we didn't get our chocolate dessert Sad. We also didn't get the local cheese we specified... on the plus side we got a shed laid off the bill when we complained. However it did mean I spent a fair bit of the reception trouncing off to our room to check my spreadsheet Blush. And I drank too much.

Endoftheroad16 · 23/10/2016 18:05

I would have got a better photographer. The woman we used was too timid and not assertive enough about getting people together for the group pictures. Everyone was ignoring her so I ended up having to shout for people to get in the photos. Also she didn't really get good shots. They were poorly composed and she didn't point out things which ruined photos like people's clothes bring in disarray.

I would also not have invited family on my mothers side. I invited out of politeness and they accepted then none of them showed up! 12 people!! Still not had an explanation five years later!

NoDramaForTheLlama · 23/10/2016 18:12

The only thing I don't regret is my dress and my starter at the wedding breakfast.

Wrong man, wrong bridesmaids, wrong colours, wrong flowers, wrong music. It was all wrong. I felt pushed into getting married and pushed into inviting 100 people half of whom I didn't want there, had bridesmaids who went home at 9pm, H has no contact with any ushers or the best man.. Who I had to choose as he wouldn't. The flowers and colours were awful and the whole thing looked tacky.

Monkeyinshoes · 23/10/2016 18:13

The only mistake I made was my choice of bridesmaid.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 23/10/2016 18:16

Everything about my first wedding, including the groom. My second was perfect- low key, close family and friends invited a month beforehand so no time to request changes or be consulted, DSD bridesmaid with her best friend, so they had a fantastic time. Friend took some photos, local florist did a few flowers. Simple ceremony and everyone back to the house for a catered buffet and a trolley load of drinks from Asda. Bit of a squash (normal sized house with gazebo in garden). Spent 3/4 of budget on honeymoon in the med Smile

selfishcrab · 23/10/2016 18:21

A few thats why we're doing it again!
I wish, wish, wish I hadn't let my guilt lead me in asking my father to give me away... he wouldn't come in the car, he wouldn't meet me outside, he wouldn't give a speech nothing!! This is the man who was a single parent to me until he met and married step-mother.
I wish I'd told my Mum as she would have stepped up.
I wish I'd have checked my dress was done up properly... everyone could see my pants!
I wish I'd not trusted the restaurant when they said they could fit us in the space... They couldn't and I had to crawl under the table everytime I wanted to go anywhere!
I wish I'd had a proper photographer... it was a 'friend' who has not spoken to me since and they are not what I wanted. I paid what was asked and didn't put any pressure just that I didn't want staged photos. They are all staged and I don't ever look at them.

I am so glad I married DH and as I said we are going to do it again next year.

wizzler · 23/10/2016 18:25

DH doesnt like dancing. I know now that he had spent most of the day fretting about having to do the first dance ( only a shuffle around the floor ). If I had known how much he was dreading it I would have said we neednt do it .

I dont regret spending a lot of money on the photographer... definitely an investment

MargaretCavendish · 23/10/2016 18:31

I regret:

  1. Not making a speech/ giving a toast. My husband wanted us both to speak but I didn't want to. In hindsight I think it would have been really nice. I was surprised at how much his speech touched me and I would have liked to have done that for him, too.
  2. I regret even trying to lose weight. It didn't work - I was actually one of my heaviest ever weights on my wedding day - and it just upset me. I'm not overweight, just a bit bigger/curvier than the 'ideal', and I don't know why I thought being thinner would contribute anything to my wedding day.
Highlandfling80 · 23/10/2016 18:35

I would have chosen a different chief bridesmaid. Mine arrived late and I ended up helping her dress not the other way round.
I would have asked friends who only had a evening invite to the day when they turned up at church after my cousin his wife and 3 kids baled the day before. Of course we had to pay for all these meals.
I would have remembered to put my veil down.
Would have remembered we were supposed to meet photographer at arrival at reception venue.
Actually Estes some of evening buffet I carefully chose.

The80sweregreat · 23/10/2016 18:36

My photograher was rubbish. I would have a smaller affair and a nicer dress. Not get married in church.. Err..would change all of it actually..lol!

perfumedlife · 23/10/2016 18:37

I wouldn't choose a strapless dress again, my bust is the star of most of the photographs Blush

Other than that, my day was perfect. Registry office, Chinese restaurant for 60 people with gorgeous food and a free bar. Photographer took casual snaps which we love and was gone within half an hour of our vows. No cake or favours and Karaoke which I dominated Grin

Highlandfling80 · 23/10/2016 18:38

We made mistake with register. I wish we had got our mums to do it.

Averagethreebedsemi · 23/10/2016 18:44

I would instruct caterers to set aside a plate of food and selection of entreès for me and my new husband to eat once the wooh-haa has quietened down and we get to relax as a couple later in the festivities.

Much of the ceremony is 'for show' and we didn't really get to tick in to our meal when we were on display on the high table.

Such a shame as we are both foodies

Ponyboycurtis · 23/10/2016 18:44

Asking someone to record the speeches - I have no memory of what my Dad, H and the best man said but I remember thinking at the time that they had all done a good job.

A PP said pictures of them with their Mum, I agree and photos of us and our children, loads of photos of them and us, just not together.

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