MIL regifted our gift and I've seen it

[Spindlewood]

Sorry it's a m in law thread . I'm married and have a goodish relationship with m in law, not great but okay . I bought her last xmas a gift from us as usual and a little gift from our 2 children for her . It was a pair of oven gloves and matching tea towels , nice not naff design . Anyway I go for dinner last night at husbands cousins , see same oven gloves and don't connect that they are what I've picked out hence why I like them and compliment cousin . She said thanks " aunty spindlewood " bought them and they came with these and then shows me the matching t towels ! I know it's only £15 worth of gift but I'm annoyed about it and want to tell her I've seen them . Long line of recently irritating things by her , which I always let go but this one for some reason has irked me more than others . I am trying to have a word with myself to forget it but finding it hard ! What would you do ?

I was given a pair of (hideous) oven gloves and tea towels, for something extraordinary I had done to help someone. DH though it was pretty shitty, they were regifted to the WI raffle. IN fact I regift a lot of stuff I get given, especially chocolates, biscuits, candles and room sprays.

She probably didn't have time to go shopping for a gift for the cousin and then found your present tucked away. She knew they were nice quality at £15 so wrapped them up and thought job done. In future stick to chocs or bottle wine from the kids and save yourself a few quid. I think it's a bit childish if you mention it to her, im sure she was saving herself time and money.

It is rude especially who she regifted it to. My MIL moved house and announced in my house at Christmas that she had dropped brand new crystal wine glasses to the charity shop because they were too big(avid wine drinker btw!) ....the crystal glasses I had just given her for Christmas and would have loved for myself

You have an over valued idea of your own importance.
You bought someone a gift. It's no longer your propety. It's up to them now what they do with it.
If you liked your gift so much you should have got a set for yourself.

I think it's funny, it would just make me laugh

Could be worse. My mil keeps giving me anti wrinkle cream for Christmas. I wouldn't mind but it started when I was in my thirties.

Be thankful ur mother in law 'just' does niggly things, I'd have liked to bury mine (alive) at times !

Not as someone I believe bought a gift for their child and they re gifted child t back to my daughter, annoying but life goes on.

My maxim is remember you are buying gifts for a person, not a house. I would have been really upset to get that gift

I have to admit, it would probably annoy me a little bit too if it was my MIL as its the sort of thing she would do. I don't have a problem with regifting if the alternative is leaving something in a drawer, but not regifting to someone close to cause this awkwardness.

I definitely wouldn't say anything though, its not worth the hassle and you'll end up being the one to look bad.

Yeah it's annoying and I did find it amusing as my MIL has form for lack of tact...not full of my own importance Gunther it's common manners not to insult someone's gift to their face...well in my world anyway

Perhaps your MIL liked them so much she bought some more as a gift - or alternatively, saw that they would look beautiful in your aunts house and generously re- gifted as she felt it greedy to keep them, if she already had something serviceable.

Wow been away for a day and this is still goin on? It's a tea towel and pair of oven gloves... have we all had boring weekends?

AIBU is harsh these days. No need for some of the replies on here but it says a lot about the people posting them.

I don't think YABU. My MIL does this a LOT and I have stopped buying her anything other than PJs and slippers because it's the only thing I've ever bought her that I actually see her use/wear. She must be sick of them by now but I'm not wasting money buying nice gifts only to go to SILs house and see they've been regifted to her.

And the gift you bought doesn't sound shit to me. Sounds perfectly reasonable.

I think it was a nice gift. I'd love some new oven gloves and tea towels! But YABU to be annoyed she gave them on. Would you have preferred she gave them to a charity shop and forked out for a new present. At least in this way, they were still a gift to her, albeit a cash gift in what she saved buying something new for the cousin.

I wouldnt bother too much, but if its still on your mind and you do want to say something, then make a happy comment, like "oh i see you must have like those kitchen essentials i bought you, as (insert name) said you bought them some too." That way you can comment without it upsetting anyone. And hopefully she will cotton on and wont give away things you buy her again.

Oh dear, I can't be the only one who has regifted a lovely present I really liked to someone I really liked because I did nt have enough funds to buy them anything else, surely ?
:(

How old is MIL? A lot of older people put new things away 'for when they're needed' then forget that they were gifts. You can see how 'recycling' can easily occur. Don't take it to heart!

I'd much prefer oven gloves and tea towels which match my kitchen than chocolates, wine or many of the myriad other suggestions on this thread. So I think it's a perfectly appropriate present for someone who spends a lot of time in the kitchen, female or male.

Not quite a mil yet, but I'd rather not receive anything than get something for the house.
Here you are mil get in the kitchen where you belong, oh and here's some things you'll need in there." You should know better OP.
Next time just give her an M&S or other shop voucher, so she can treat herself to what she'd like.

Don't bring it up.

Last year my dad tried to give me back the (very nice, I thought) present I'd given him for his birthday a month earlier. He said he wouldn't use it. I was a bit offended and suggested he regift it instead!

I also have a relative who gives presents and then checks (for years and years) that you still have them! "Where's that X I gave you?" "Do you wear that scarf I gave you?". I find that so rude, like it's a conditional gift.

Personally, I would not be overjoyed if someone bought me oven gloves/tea towels as a Christmas gift. It is something domestic for the house and not very personal. (My uncle once gave my aunt a set of saucepans for Christmas. He got hit with the frying pan and Christmas that year was a wash. Didn't make the same mistake twice....)

I really appreciate, however, that someone has bothered to give me a present and would always thank them nicely. Then it would go straight into my recycling drawer for re-gifting onwards.

I expect your MIL thought to herself that they weren't her cup of tea and wouldn't ever use them, but she knew that her niece would. And clearly she does, as she had them out on display for you to see....

Absolutely, do NOT say anything to MIL. Let is go and up your game on the gift giving front. Try and pick out something more personal, or give a gift voucher for a beauty treatment, etc.

Yanbu. I would also be irritated even though I registered all the time. I would take it in the chin though and I am a grudge holder so I might only buy her personalised things in future so she can't regift but I appreciate that is mean.

I once bought my neighbour some flowers for her birthday, only to see her walk down the road less than 5 minutes later to give them to her Mum, who she'd fallen out with the week before!! I seethed and never bought her flowers again. Sadly by neighbour died suddenly last Christmas and do you know what, the annoyance I felt at the time seems so trivial now.

I genuinely don't mean to sound sanctimonious, sorry if I do. You don't know MIL situation - can she afford to buy gifts herself? I had no choice BUT to regift when I was working part-time and the children were little.