I'm really angry about contraception

[HoneyDragon]

I have a headache it comes with being at that point in the pack of pills.

And I'm angry. At pretty much all of contraception. Aimed at women because lets face it, we're left holding the baby. Literally and figuratively.

And we're more used to being violated. So a scalpel to the arm for an implant. A piece of metal forced into our uterus. Artificial hormones or stinky spermicides put wherever is convenient for them to work. Uncomfortable but hey it's temporary until it's time to procreate.

And other than condoms, why do we call it protection? Protection from pregnancy. But how many women have had pressure from men over the years for sex if they know they are on the pill. How many men STILL sees woman being 'on the pill' as an excemption, a free pass not to wear a condom, and object when they are told it's not?

I'm angry that as a teen when I had problem periods the GPs soloution was to manage it with hormones and put me on the pill, synthetically managing me. It was years before a sympathetic female GP introduced me to the many other options for managing heavy painful periods.

On a school residential another group of girls noticed it and rumours abounded that I was a slag for a while amongst the boys at school.

And if you have an unplanned pregnancy there is still judging and stigma. Because if a woman is on contraception and falls pregnant it must be her fault. Both my children were unplanned, both times I was asked if perhaps it was self sabotage as I was married and probably secretly wanted them. Over twenty odd years of contraception two pregnancies isn't bad odds in my book. An unplanned pregnancy should not be considered a woman's failure However conversely if you manage to get pregnant after trying for a long time (which is wonderful) people describe this happily as 'nature finds a way'. Nature is only allowed to find her way through the sadness of infertility it seems, not man made barriers to pregnancy.

For many women hormones cause depression, the coil can cause uncomfortable periods and all the other assorted crap. In the 60 years since the 'Sexual revolution' technology has moved on amazingly so why the fucking hell is contraception still so unutterably medically and socially SHIT?

slenderisthenight Yes, it could be. However, then there would be an equal percentage increase in depression across all hormonal contraception. As it is, the research shows that the combined pill and minipill are associated with lower rates of depression (but still an increase compared to baseline, in young women anyway) than the IUD and implant, which have ~10% the level of hormones. Quite simply, the research is interesting but currently scientifically and medically pretty inexplicable as to what is actually happening.

Entirely anecdotal, for the majority of people I knew who didn't have a current medical issue (like asthma, diabetes etc), getting contraception was the first time they'd been to the GP without their parents as a teenager/young adult, and often the first time they'd been in many years. So it would be a logical explanation that they might talk about other issues then.

Well OP there isn't a cure for cancer, HIV, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Multiple Sclerosis etc... to name but a few awful diseases, despite modern technology and much money invested in research. Please enlighten me as to what perfect contraceptive should have been developed by now and who exactly you are angry with for not having done so? Did you ever consider a career in medical research yourself to help develop a better contraceptive?

Modern contraceptives are of course not perfect but they work well for many people. I used Mirena for a decade and absolutely loved it, no side effects for me and no periods to deal with. I'm sorry you haven't had an easy experience but to be so angry about it is ridiculous imo.

then there would be an equal percentage increase in depression across all hormonal contraception.

Is this your area of expertise? It's not mine but I read a thread last week that was very informative. Apparently different types of contraceptive contain different types/amount of hormone, all of which might be reacted to in individual ways - so the lack of a uniform reaction would not be surprising. On an anecdotal level, the thread seemed to suggest that many GPs are unaware of this and unaware of the effect these hormones can have upon women's mental thread.

Yes, more women on contraception are being diagnosed with depression, but given this has no correlation to dose of hormones and the change is only seen in the first few years

I've been thinking about this. Reading between the lines, the aim of research into this vastly profitable area of pharmaceuticals seems to focussing on proving that women don't know our own minds and there isn't an effect on mood from hormonal contraception. Since I know precisely no one in real life who doesn't have experience of hormonal contraception affecting their mood, this seems somewhat offensive as an hypothesis. I know for a fact that hormonal changes and imbalances affect my mood. Pregnancy gives me panic attacks. My period being due makes me cross. Some forms of the pill turn me into a placid cow who cares about nothing, other forms of the pill give me permanent raging relationship-destroying PMS. The reason I know hormones affect my mood is because I've had my period for over twenty-five years, plus two pregnancies, and over that amount of time the patterns become bloody obvious.

Given the higher rates of depression reported by women vs men, surely medical researchers should be eagerly grasping the opportunity to discover why hormonal levels affect mood, and what factors lead different women to have different reactions? It could be transformational for so many women.

YANBU op. I am also furious about this. I'm now in my mid 30s and using condoms. The pill, which I was first "put on" at 15 gave me migraines & obliterated any sex drive. I also suffered with depression in my late teens and early 20s. Not to mention the abusive maternity "care" particularly with pregnancy with dc1 at 16; constant vaginal examinations throughout, I was already in an abusive relationship (not rocket science aged 16). They had me back on the pill immediately after the birth and midwife told me I should have sex before 6 week check to make sure all ok; I'd had an episiotomy, but obviously I did as I was told. -Just a note with DC3 at 33, nobody felt it necessary to do a single vaginal examination.
Sorry that was long, but part of the bigger picture of the contraception issue.

When I wanted to change my pill I was advised by a friend to go to a specialist family planning clinic to discuss with a sexual health nurse - who spent all day every day focusing on contraception options - rather than my GP. She was right. The nurse was awesome - she talked me through the pros and cons of the different pills and helped me decide which one I felt would best suit me. I then went to the GP armed with this knowledge and asked them to prescribe me that brand of pill

The nurse had way more insight into the different progestins in the different pills ('we call microgynon the crazy bitch pill, but it's cheap and it's been around the longest, so it'll be the first one most people will be put on if they go to the GP and ask to go on the pill')

GPs are general practitioners, not specialists. I got far better advice about hormonal contraceptives from the specialist nurse - which makes sense as that's her entire area of focus

I loved my pill. It was bloody awesome. Yasmin sorted out my PCOS acne, I had no mood swings, the risk of DVT was higher with that pill but I knew the risks and made an informed decision about taking it. Coming off the pill when I got my first period I was hit by PMT for the first time in years, and was horrified!

Hormonal contraception gave me no PMT, easy and predictable periods, it was brilliant!! I'm sorry so many of you had bad experiences with it, but it's simply not the case that every other woman has had problems with hormonal contraception.

Ironically I'm on a copper IUD and HRT for ashermans syndrome post D&C, to try and restore menstruation (as part of my fertility treatment I'm on contraception, as counterintuitive as that sounds) so I'm loving the stories of heavy periods with copper coils. I'm desperately hoping for a horribly painful, Niagara Falls bleed, as that'll mean the coil is working!!

Agree Op
Just had a 6 month stand off with dp regarding all the above. I'm not taking any more pills, implants or injections, don't want a springy thing stuck in my bits....both not keen on condoms, time for the snip snap I feel.

I used to be happy on the combined pill, it suited me and worked well. Until they wouldn't let me have it any more once I hit my early 30s due to my migraines. I tried the mini pill and bled constantly for 6 months and had awful mood swings before giving up. Since then its been a constant push for the Mirena. I don't want a bloody coil, I certainly don't want one covered in the hormone that I know doesn't agree with me.

I also don't want children and have been refused sterlisation since I started asking for that when I was about 25 (too young, might change my mind). Have continued to ask every few years to still be told no (I'm 44 now and possibly peri-menopausal).

So its condoms and frankly a lot of abstinence, which doesn't go down well in a 20 year relationship.

I hate that GPs just wont' listen to me.

YABU - think back to when these contraceptive methods were not available and it was either keep your knees crossed or permanent reproduction.

We are lucky to have these things at our disposal - none of them are ideal - but is life?

Also, if it is the recent research about depression rates with contraception that are making you concerned about it, then you should know that the research doesn't show a definite cause-and-effect between the two. Yes, more women on contraception are being diagnosed with depression, but given this has no correlation to dose of hormones and the change is only seen in the first few years, it is quite likely that it is simply that women who are already seeing a GP every 3/6 months for contraception will mention other problems, too.

This is still bothering me. Essentially what I think you're implying is:

• causal link cannot be proven for noted correlation of increase in depression when using hormonal contraception and said hormonal contraception (despite reams of self-reported anecdotal evidence that says maybe someone should look harder for a causal link as this is quite credible)
• BUT despite no actual evidence of women "mentioning other problems" (and I mean nothing, it appears that what women say to their doctor whilst at an appointment for contraception hasn't actually been studied) THIS is supposed to be the causal link???

How can you reject a correlation as a cause but accept something that there isn't even any data on as a cause?

carmenta you are misunderstanding me. What I am meaning to say is:

1. there is quite clearly some correlation between first diagnosis of depression and beginning to take hormonal contraception
2. that correlation is extremely complicated, because:

* the change in risk seems to vary substantially by age of person taking the hormonal contraception, with some suggestion that older women starting hormonal contraception actually have a protective effect from depression * forms of contraception with the lowest circulating hormone levels (IUD, implant) have much higher association with diagnosis of depression than those with higher circulating hormone levels (combined pill, progesterone-only pill) * the risk of diagnosis with depression increases in the first two years, then decreases until it is equal (or less) to not having hormonal contraception

1. as a retroactive study from records of prescriptions, the controls are not perfectly matched and will have many other differences between individuals in the groups, such as numbers of GP visits, other medical conditions, relationship status, family history of depression, income etc. Some of these other differences may also correlate with depression.

Essentially, this is an interesting result and absolutely warrants further scientific/medical exploration. And not just to "hide the result", but to understand what exactly is happening, and why. Are there pill formulations which aren't causing depression, or preventing it? Is there something else linking it - for example a certain subset of women are more likely to develop depression on the pill, but others aren't? However marching to your GP and feeling betrayed and angry about ever being prescribed contraception would be a massive over-reaction to the results of this study.

And yes, GPs and pharmaceutical companies won't know that contraception causes depression until the research which shows that has been done. Same as they didn't know the side-effects of thalidomide until that research was done - not through malice and cover-ups, but because research takes a long time, and things like depression are much harder to monitor in controlled clinical trials than something like a blood clot, which has a sudden and dramatic onset and is very unusual in women without hormonal contraception. This is why most countries have side-effect reporting systems, so doctors and pharmaceutical companies become aware of potentially significant links in side effects.

Excellent post tyranno

I have mixed feelings about this. I agree that there should be more options for men to take over the brunt of contraception - having to choose between a permanent solution and one of the least effective forms is really not a good choice. And although I've never been in a situation where a man has refused to wear a condom, I personally don't like them much either - and since being stitched up twice following vaginal births, I actually find them quite uncomfortable as they rub on the ridge of scar tissue (no matter how well lubricated).

Having said that, I'm lucky enough to get on very well with the Mirena coil and had my 4th put in earlier today. I am one of those people who suggest it when others complain about their pill as for me it has been an excellent solution. But for those who don't get on well with it - there are potential side effects with every single medication, it's not exclusive to crappy female provided contraceptive choices.

I think it's appalling that HCPs bully women into keeping it in and although they do of course try to ensure that there are no unwanted pregnancies post-birth the method they use to try and press-gang women into buying into their 'chosen' appropriate contraception has anecdotally been inappropriate at best (although again, I've personally not been affected by it).

I also know at least two men who have had children in relationships they wouldn't have chosen to but been presented with a pregnancy as a done deal. The relationships have subsequently broken down and the men are great parents but given the option they would have been happy to take on the contraception burden if it meant that that wouldn't have happened. This wasn't an option for them and they thought they could trust their respective partners.

The default should be HCPs who are not fucking condescending sexist twats, not that women should refrain from sexual intercourse.

If women reacted to sexist twattery be refraining from sexual intercourse, then sexist twats who are male and want sex with women would have to change their modus operandi.

At the very least there would be more demand for male hormonal/chemical contraception and more pressure to continue research one that.

There is a female condom available?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that the copper coil wasn't hormonal, just a sort of barrier?

There is also the rhythm method and the withdrawal method.

These can be successful if done carefully and in combination.

Just imagine what life was like for woman before there was any contraception available! The repeated pregnancies, the high risk of dying during childbirth, the terrible stigma of being an unmarried mother
I am extremely grateful for the choices that we now have

This , that's how I feel. Not angry

I had to have major womd burger as my fobrouds were so large, again niot angery about that

anyway, I tend to use the rhythm /withdrawal method aged 43, the chance of getting PG when not actively ovulating are very low

are you pre menstrual OP Joke, joke!!!

I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned rhythm/natural family planning (not the same as withdrawal, although some people use both at times). It's easy once you get the hang of it and as effective as other methods. I was fucking raging about hormonal birth control when I came off it to TTC and realised the pill had been masking my cycle issues for years. Now that I've had a baby I never plan to go back on it. NFP all the way for me it helps that I'm not very fertile.

cross post witches !!!

Bue Typical use efficacy for natural family planning is 75-90%. A 3/4 chance of not getting pregnant simply isn't good enough for a lot of people, when they could have a 999/1000 chance with something like a copper IUD, mirena or implant.

And yes, it can be extremely effective but generally for adult women who have regular cycles (so not teenagers, nearing menopause or recently had babies), and if they have the self-control to not have sex/use a condom on all risky days, every time.

'so not teenagers'

I've known teens who used this method just fine.

I find it sad that you need to be "assertive" to get decent medical treatment. What if you have MH issues and are struggling? Not highly educated or simply of below average Intelligence so struggle to understand medical information?
Oh I see, budget cuts! Were humanity and decency really expensive so we had to get rid of them first?

Maybe this is one area where we females have more options. If you use a combined method, and both use something? Condom and cap?
Equal then.

I was so mad when - after enduring horrific depression from being given the pill at 13 by my GP for heavy periods - I found out I was bloody infertile anyway. I basically fucked my life up in my teens and early twenties because I also have BPD so the hormones rendered me incapable of behaving normally.

I'm allergic to condoms...