I'm really angry about contraception

[HoneyDragon]

I have a headache it comes with being at that point in the pack of pills.

And I'm angry. At pretty much all of contraception. Aimed at women because lets face it, we're left holding the baby. Literally and figuratively.

And we're more used to being violated. So a scalpel to the arm for an implant. A piece of metal forced into our uterus. Artificial hormones or stinky spermicides put wherever is convenient for them to work. Uncomfortable but hey it's temporary until it's time to procreate.

And other than condoms, why do we call it protection? Protection from pregnancy. But how many women have had pressure from men over the years for sex if they know they are on the pill. How many men STILL sees woman being 'on the pill' as an excemption, a free pass not to wear a condom, and object when they are told it's not?

I'm angry that as a teen when I had problem periods the GPs soloution was to manage it with hormones and put me on the pill, synthetically managing me. It was years before a sympathetic female GP introduced me to the many other options for managing heavy painful periods.

On a school residential another group of girls noticed it and rumours abounded that I was a slag for a while amongst the boys at school.

And if you have an unplanned pregnancy there is still judging and stigma. Because if a woman is on contraception and falls pregnant it must be her fault. Both my children were unplanned, both times I was asked if perhaps it was self sabotage as I was married and probably secretly wanted them. Over twenty odd years of contraception two pregnancies isn't bad odds in my book. An unplanned pregnancy should not be considered a woman's failure However conversely if you manage to get pregnant after trying for a long time (which is wonderful) people describe this happily as 'nature finds a way'. Nature is only allowed to find her way through the sadness of infertility it seems, not man made barriers to pregnancy.

For many women hormones cause depression, the coil can cause uncomfortable periods and all the other assorted crap. In the 60 years since the 'Sexual revolution' technology has moved on amazingly so why the fucking hell is contraception still so unutterably medically and socially SHIT?

Tyrannosaur those low figures of effectiveness are for the older 'rhythm method' I believe. When I say NFP I really mean the fertility awareness method (FAM). Typical use is around 90% effective while typical use with the Pill is around 91%. So very similar.

NFP/FAM doesn't require a perfect cycle - it bases your fertility on all of the various signs your body is showing on that exact day. Again, I think you're confusing it with the rhythm method, which is easily done.

Sorry I see I actually mentioned the rhythm method in my first post! My error! I meant to write FAM/NFP. Not rhythm/NFP. Which again, yes, is a less effective method.

YANBU

I spent ages 16-22 severely depressed, with chronic insomnia and a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. All of these symptoms went away never to return when I stopped taking the depoprovera injection but during those years I made life hanging decisions that will stay with me forever.

I've also had a lot of pain and an unplanned pregnancy with a mirena coil. When I read that the science has been long available for male contraceptives but they don't believe there is a market for it, that is what makes me really really cross.

Of course you need to be assertive Cheshire. You need to be assertive if you're in Tesco and in a queue, or someone will cut in wont they?
You are the expert on you and it's up to you to make sure you get what you need and don't let anyone else put you off! Know your rights, be assertive.

If you have MH issues you can bring an advocate as you would in a lawyers' office, or a financial advisor. It's not rocket science to have a win win. Common sense rather.

For those who have been badly treated in the gps office, and didn't get what suited you, why didn't you ask for a consultant referral? Gps are general practitioners, not specialists. They have a one size fits all, and don't have the expertise or time to find something especially for you. A consultant appointment is much longer and they have specialist information and expertise.

Have a read of this website
He's a consultant gynaecologist and has some interesting insights on hormonal flucuations and mental health.

There's no point in being angry about contraception. Without it we'd be knocked up continuously. I come from a country where until recently contraception was illegal, even if you were married, and there's still no abortion allowed.

Reliable available contraception is fantastic.
If the contraception you take and use doesn't suit you, see someone who can help you.
No need for anger, it's a waste of energy.

It's not anyone's fault you don't suit a particular drug, or have to take care of contraception, or have the baby if you do get pregnant.
Biology is biology- there's no one to blame!

Sadly, not everyone is capable of seeking out an advocate or similar for a variety of reasons and I genuinely doubt it's quite that easy.

Being treated with decency and respect and being listened to doesn't cost anything and it should be the absolute bare minimum we should expect.

Yes, respect should be a minimum.
But you really can't get angry with all contraception because the one you use doesn't suit. It is up to you to you to be aware of the effects of any medication you take, including hormonal contraception, and to change it or stop using it if it doesn't.

Having people around to tell you if you're going a bit off the rails is always useful, if you're not self aware. But that's still not the GPs fault if they can't read your mind. I think we do have a responsibility to get the care we need ourselves. Keeping a diary is a useful tool, and learning how to be mindful is essential.

I think the intolerance of our own progesterone has a much bigger effect on our lives than is ever documented.

I loved being on the pill for example, felt amazing when pregnant and my world absolutely fell apart when I had my baby. I had chronic oestrogen deficiency, and now that I'm on prescribed bio identical HRT I feel fantastic again.
My story is not uncommon.
I wonder how many posters on this thread who are so furious about contraception are actually progesterone intolerant, and suffering from extreme mood swings due to intolerances of their own hormones.

It might be a good idea to see a consultant gynaecologist, not just a GP if you find you're angry at nothing all the time, or have crashing lows. You'll have to be assertive, so in these budget cuts, be prepared to be persistent until you have a solution that's suitable.

Well if allforms of contraception bothers you THAT much you have one hormone free, sure fire way to prevent pregnancy and STD's.

DON'T HAVE SEX.

Realistically though, sex isn't just about procreating, it's about bonding, and, so i'm told, it feels damn good.

Contraception can only do so much though. I have an implant in my arm due to period problems, and it's been absolutely brilliant, and it's actually placed with an injection, not cutting in to you with a scalpel (although removal does require one very small incision, done completely under local anasthetic with no discomfort at all).

The simple fact is there is no foolproof way to prevent pregnancy (other than celibacy), and it is biologically easier to create a contraceptive for women than it is for men.

Even if male contraceptives DO come on the market, it will take time for them to be tried, trusted, or become any sort of "norm". And since the female is the one who can get pregnant, and knows her periods, when she ovulates and her window of being most fertile, and ultimately holds all rights to choose to keep or terminate any resulting pregnancy, quite frankly pregnancy preventing contraception SHOULD be primarily her responsibility.
Sadly these will usually come with side effects for atleast some users, as the most effective methods require hormones.
As for guys not liking condoms and the spread of STD's, I'm not a guy, but i could imagine a condom could feel restrictive and does reduce sensitivity, and will feel completely different to no condom sex, which it will be only natural for them to have a preference.
If you know and trust who you're sleeping with (which you should) and they are careful with their sexual health and get checked before sleeping with a new partner, is them not wanting to wear a condom really an issue if there are other methods being used for pregnancy prevention?

But I have a preference as well, hormonal contraception doesn't agree with me anymore so I prefer condoms. If my partner decided that he doesn't want to use them then no sex is what would happen.