I'm really angry about contraception

[HoneyDragon]

I have a headache it comes with being at that point in the pack of pills.

And I'm angry. At pretty much all of contraception. Aimed at women because lets face it, we're left holding the baby. Literally and figuratively.

And we're more used to being violated. So a scalpel to the arm for an implant. A piece of metal forced into our uterus. Artificial hormones or stinky spermicides put wherever is convenient for them to work. Uncomfortable but hey it's temporary until it's time to procreate.

And other than condoms, why do we call it protection? Protection from pregnancy. But how many women have had pressure from men over the years for sex if they know they are on the pill. How many men STILL sees woman being 'on the pill' as an excemption, a free pass not to wear a condom, and object when they are told it's not?

I'm angry that as a teen when I had problem periods the GPs soloution was to manage it with hormones and put me on the pill, synthetically managing me. It was years before a sympathetic female GP introduced me to the many other options for managing heavy painful periods.

On a school residential another group of girls noticed it and rumours abounded that I was a slag for a while amongst the boys at school.

And if you have an unplanned pregnancy there is still judging and stigma. Because if a woman is on contraception and falls pregnant it must be her fault. Both my children were unplanned, both times I was asked if perhaps it was self sabotage as I was married and probably secretly wanted them. Over twenty odd years of contraception two pregnancies isn't bad odds in my book. An unplanned pregnancy should not be considered a woman's failure However conversely if you manage to get pregnant after trying for a long time (which is wonderful) people describe this happily as 'nature finds a way'. Nature is only allowed to find her way through the sadness of infertility it seems, not man made barriers to pregnancy.

For many women hormones cause depression, the coil can cause uncomfortable periods and all the other assorted crap. In the 60 years since the 'Sexual revolution' technology has moved on amazingly so why the fucking hell is contraception still so unutterably medically and socially SHIT?

I agree- I have really bad asthma. It ets worse with hormones.

When am on the pill my asthma improves.

When I go on the pill I become suicidal.

The pressure on me from the NHS to take the hormones is huge.

No. No I don't. It's my inalienable right as a man to be goady!!!!!

Seriously though, I meant no real offence. I rarely do....

*I just don't understand why women take that nasty chemical shit. Condoms are very effective....especially teamed with timing your ovulation.

I've been working on understanding my cycle for years.*

I bloody loved the nasty chemical shit because it gave me control. I have PCOS so I would go months without a period when not on the pill and would never know when one might come, so I could never know if I was late or not. I would have needed to take 'nasty chemical shit' every three months to induce a bleed as the unopposed oestrogen of PCOS can risk endometrial hyperplasia. So if not on the pill I'd have had to take Provera if I'd gone several months without a period

The pill also cleared up my PCOS acne - my skin is horrible now I'm off it.

I ran on packets of pills for 3 months so I could skip monthly periods (with my GP's blessing). I had very light and easy periods, but they're an inconvenience and I took advantage of the ability to avoid having to have one every month.

I actually started taking the pill before I lost my virginity, because I didn't want a period turning up during my A-Levels, so I made sure I didn't have to deal with any cramps or similar during my exams.

Just because the pill wasn't right for you doesn't mean you should judge other women who do choose and prefer hormonal contraception

Milky - after 6 month you can take the combined pill again. It's possible it can drop your milk supply, but that's not garenteed. I began talking it again around 16 mths and went onto bf twins until nearly three. It's just one if those things you can't know for sure if it will drop your supply or not so they don't take the risk prior to 6 months. By the time I took it in wouldn't have minded if my supply dropped or not so it was an easy risk to take & I felt immediately better.

Just read the article leedy and am now as as 😡😡😡😡 as the OP

AnotherEmma

It took eighteen months for my coil to be removed, which I was convinced was inserted incorrectly. They said it was expensive so I had to put up with it. They scanned it and said I was fine and my periods and bleeding were unrelated. They only relented when I became so aneamic I was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack.

Then it was stuck.

Then further consultation and a wait for an operation to remove it. The consultant confirmed it had been inserted incorrectly ....it took another year for me to fully recover.

I don't understand your anger

Nobody is forcing anyone to take the pill or hormonal contraception

I never have, don't use any contraception, have used withdrawal very successfully for over 20 years. Had DC when I wanted them

No need for all the drama

I have to say I'm glad there is so much choice available.
I've been on the pill since I became sexually active, and had no problems. When dh and I decided to try for a baby, I came off the pill and got pregnant within 4 months. I went back on it after the birth, and I do have to admit I do feel a bit sick when I take it now. I'm going to try it for another month, then if I still feel sick on it I'll try another brand of pill.
Personally I hate condoms with a passion and have never used them. I've known my partners and knew o didn't need them.
But it's good there's so much choice now

There have been several forms of the male pill/hormonal contraception trialed. One will never make it to market because it was TOO GOOD. It was covered in the media about three years ago. One treatment (can't remember if it was a pill or injection) and the men were infertile with no adverse affects indefinitely until it was reversed, again via pill/injection. Very little money in that. The lucrative birth control market would basically collapse.

And another one, a daily pill, apparently caused headaches in some of the men making it a non-starter. We can't present men with an imperfect contraceptive, they're not used to taking hits against their health to prevent parenthood!

I don't think another form of male contraception will ever happen.

Remote, I'm glad that worked for you, but it doesn't work for a lot of people. I'm annoyingly fertile (two unplanned pregnancies while using contraception, two planned pregnancies each within two months of starting to try in my late 30s). The idea of trusting the withdrawal method and not getting pregnant is alien to me.

I take the pill becausd I like to be able to leave the house every day, rather than for 4 days a month not be able to leave because of seriously heavy periods.
Being able to have sex without a condom is purely a byproduct of this.
I hate relying on man made hormones, but I hate periods more. I wish they could be switched off, but I'm only 37, they won't even entertain the idea. Drives me crazy, i totally agree OP

They said it was expensive so I had to put up with it.

That's just horrific :(

When I wanted to get mine removed I went to a GUM type drop in clinic, asked for it to be removed and they did then and there. They didn't even ask how long it had been in for. They did ask why, but said it was just so they could offer to help me with anything else (ie offer me other contraception or conception advice!), not because they needed to know, iyswim. That's how it should be!

Honey - I had exactly the same issue.

Now, I understand that the Mirena is expensive and takes a while to settle down. But mine was causing me quite a lot of pain, and having no effect on my symptom (severe menorrhagia), and I'd tried it for 12 months. The GP flat out refused to remove it, which left me feeling totally powerless and violated. She also refused to refer me for the proper investigations for why I was bleeding like a geyser every single day without remission. She just kept testing me for STDs instead.

I ended up storming into the GUM clinic at the hospital. The consultant was great. She tested me for everything, confirmed I was negative for everything, and took out the coil on my request. She listened to my story and wrote my GP a rocket of a letter telling her to get her act together. She saw how much blood I was losing and said it was horrific that I was having to put up with that every day. Without her, I'm convinced I'd never have had the referral I needed. Wish I could give her a huge hug and thank her.

Honest to God, I think we should have a pressure group for bleeding issues. There are SO many women with endometriosis, fibroids, and more serious bleeding symptoms (cervical cancer) who desperately need help and impartial accurate advice - which unfortunately are NOT being supplied by many GPs. Women get stuck for literally YEARS going back and back to GPs and not getting resolution on their issues. It is not acceptable.

holly that's horrific

I have heard of Ormeloxifene, it is not contraception, it it causes a very early miscarriage if the egg is fertilised.

(To be clear: what I'm suggesting is not a pressure group for the actual diagnoses - there are lots of these - but a pressure group for those who are stuck with bleeding and unable to get to the point of a decent diagnosis because they're not being listened to.

It should also cover the trivialisation of periods, especially pain. A consultant said recently that some women are in as much pain each month as those who are suffering heart attacks. While that's not true of every woman, it is agonising for some).

I was fobbed off for months by the FPC when I had a Mirena coil.

And these aren't isolated stories. There are plenty of them, from women.

I'm with you, OP. It's a feminist issue. Women must put up and shut up, and don't bother the menz about our bodies. Someone already linked to that Vice article from last week - fascinating and anger-inducing read.

And I don't see why we have to be "grateful" we have contraceptive options now over what we had 100 years ago. If we just meekly accepted what we have nothing would ever change. I'm sure 100 years ago before the pill people were saying to women "you should be grateful you haven't died in childbirth."

HoneyDragon, I haven't read past the first third of the thread, but I completely agree with your OP. Hormonal contraceptives completely fuck with a woman's natural moods, cycles, physiology, yet we're supposed to buy that they're either harmless or even good for us sometimes. It's utter bollocks.

I came off the pill 11 years ago having been on it for nearly 20 years. I was gobsmacked at how different I felt, how much more in touch I was with changing moods and states - and then I got very, very angry. I'm still angry about it.

I now use condoms, but specific ones which are a revelation (but expensive): Naturalamb. They don't protect against STDs, but do against pregnancy. There's no other product like them on the market, and I've tried many.

having checked that this is AIBU not the feminism boards....

evolution is a bitch. Cancer, dementia, multiple sclerosis, motor neurone and so many other things we can't yet fix.

Polio, smallpox, measles and many others that we can.

All from the wonderful scientists and big pharma. So there is hope.

Oh, and I've tried the implant (bled for weeks at a time and begged to have it removed after a year, which they did), and the copper coil, which gave me searing back pain and repeated UTIs.

No, no, no fucking NO!

On a lighter note for a Friday afternoon, how about this 19 year old who thinks women shouldn't get tax relief on tampons because - and I quote - "If you can’t control your bladder then that’s not the taxpayers’ problem. I don’t urinate everywhere and expect free nappies."

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/anti-tampon-tax-meninist-gets-12046469