...to ask what's the nastiest thing someone's ever said or done to you?

[OohFloorPie]

Feeling a little low tonight, anxiety playing up and ruminating on things that happened long ago. So I thought I'd ask if others are willing to share the nastiest things people have ever said or done to them.

I'll go first. When I was at college I drunkenly admitted that I was attracted to women as well as men and that I thought one of the girls in my group of friends was attractive.

In the cold light of day I expected things to be awkward and apologised, but didn't expect that this group of rather alternative women would turn around and not only shun me, but call me sick, twisted, perverted and start an online harassment campaign against me.

Years later I still feel like I am a terrible person who deserved what happened and still feel awful. Particularly as I've never acted on any attraction I've felt towards women as although I find them attractive, I'm not interested in a same sex relationship and definitely prefer men overall.

What's your worst experience?

Daisy

I could put so much on here about physical and psychological abuse from my stepmother but I'll just post one. When I was 15 she said, right after my first girlfriend broke up with me "I don't know what she saw in you, she's way out of your league. But at least you've proved me and your dad wrong, we both thought you were gay."

I left home not long after I turned 18 with nothing but the clothes on my back and nowhere to go. A college mate had a flat (his family were wealthy and had bought it for him) and he let me have his spare bedroom. I was so grateful for that.

Fast forward a dozen or so years and my then wife persuaded me that our kids deserved to know their grandparents. We arranged to visit and managed to last an hour before my wife said "you were right, let's go".

My mother completely ignoring me when I left an unhappy marriage because of "people would say". Superficially things seemed to improve in the intervening years, but I know she was saying nasty things about me to her friends.

She died earlier this year and I haven't felt a thing or shed a single tear. I'm glad she's gone because I am free of all her nastiness.

Cheeky you have a right to ask questions. However, as it seems you are also a victim of bullying, can you not see that, asking the the question "did you do it to make yourself feel better' could be interpreted in a different way to what you intended?

Passive aggressive people often couch criticism by questions.
What made you wear that dress, when you knew this was a formal party?
Why do you always cry, when I speak to you?

Implied criticism in both those questions, but if challenged, you would be told, "I am only asking"

i posted the 'passive aggressive people' as an example. Some people would read that as just part of a post kindly meant. Others would see it as the poster accusing you of passive aggression. Unfortunately a lot of harm is done, unintentially when reading the written word.

I hope you won't leave, because your post opened up this discussion and many people will admire you for your apology.

I had friends turn on me for no apparent reason and write nasty things about me on social media. Apparently I'm a cunt.

Pretty minor compared to some of the replies on here and to be honest I'm so thick skinned I wasn't really bothered anyway. Delete, block, carry on with life.

Cheeky, it takes courage to apologise. . Sorry I called you a bully, as has been pointed out, the written word is open to interpretation.
Do stay, we're quite nice here most of the time!

Mine was something someone wrote.

I had finally had my longed for DD after 5 years of infertility and 6 miscarriages. I had had a long, traumatic labour ending in forceps which needed an epidural. All night my baby was throwing up meconium and choking. No one came when I pressed my button. When I tearfully explained to the midwife that my one leg was still numb and I couldn't reach my baby she said 'nonsense, you need to start getting up now.' She then wrote in my notes that 'mother refuses to look after her baby'. It affected me deeply as I had had mh issues due to all my pregnancy problems and was petrified that my DD would die because I had somehow cheated fate to have her so she would be taken away from me. I didn't sleep for 2 weeks when I got her home as I couldn't bear to not be watching her in case she died of cot death. I eventually was hysterical with tiredness and PND until my mom took me home to look after us.

Even today I often have flashes of 'what if' and something terrible happening to my children. Both of them still sleep on a breathing monitor and they are 3 and 5

2kids2dogsnosense

You are so right there and you know what she does own a house and I dont. Your Grannie was right about it.

I lost with her many years ago and I couldn't remember why. When i bumped into her by chance I had forgotten how she expects you to pay for her regardless. Then it slowly came back to me.

The comment was at rhe venue when she said her friends all arrange it and pay for her. Then she walked off without paying me and thanked me for the tickets!!!

Funnily enough she has been very intrusive with regards to me doing things with her and gets annoyed with me if I wont go out. You must be right there too: she has exhausted all of her other friends too.

I found it very draining to be with her as she makes a spectacle of you, makes points about your life and almost sneers at you for it. Every time.

I am taking the hit on the tickets and not asking her for money as i have blocked her number and will never contact her again.

I absolutely agree that it's carthartic. Some things can make you feel so deeply ashamed, you feel you can never tell anyone for fear they might share the view of the person who originally perpetrated the nastiness.

That is so true as well.

One of my family members, when I was having job problems, said to me why do you fuck everything up. They blamed me for it all. When you hear every day of people being poorly treated at work.

I was almost ashamed of anyone else knowing in case I got blamed too.

About 15 years ago best friend was getting married and we were on her hen night, and her soon to be husband was on his stag night. All went well and we had bumped into some people from work that we knew and spent some time talking to them. After an hour we left and went to a club, eventually got into taxis and I went home to bed.

About an hour later, around 4am my phone started ringing and it was best friends soon to be husband and he was ranting down the phone about best friend kissing another guy on the hen night and demanding to know why i let it happen and that the wedding was cancelled. Of course I had no idea what he was talking about, she then comes on the phone crying etc and saying I should have stopped her. This went on for about 45 minutes and eventually I too got upset for being blamed for something that I knew nothing about. I said I didn't know what they were talking about and said I was going to bed and they should sort it out themselves and put the phone down, then went back to bed.

About half an hour later they both turned up at my front door saying 'it was a wind up'. I went ballistic, and said that it was shitty thing to do and they needed to leave. They tried to get me to see the funny side but I was having none of it.

Next day she came round again and tried again. However, I couldn't forgive either of them for making me think the wedding was off. I didn't go to the wedding and not too long after I moved away and have not had contact since. Bizarrely, she called me about 6 months ago asking why did we lose touch!

RVP that is appalling.

What arseholes.

Probably when my mum stopped talking to me when she found out I was pregnant with a boy. There's a lot more she's done that's much worse but I don't want to think about it too much while the children are up, as I don't want them seeing me upset. But it's all very fresh and raw.

When I was about 19 two friends asked me if I wanted to join them on a night out. I wasn't really into night clubs and preferred to go for a quiet meal and some drinks with my boyfriend and other couples. The main reason I didn't like being in town in the night was because I had previously missed the last bus home, when on a night out with the girls from work, and started walking home. A man kept hassling me and pulling at me, asking me for sex. I managed to get free of him and ran all the way home.

Anyway these friends persuaded me to go with them, insisting we would all stay together and share a taxi home and split the cost three ways.

They copped off with two blokes. I was already in a steady relationship and wasn't interested in meeting bloke number 3, who was pawing me. There was no mistake he wanted a quick shag. I said I was leaving and asked if anyone had the number of a taxi. They insisted we will all leave together and start walking and hail a passing taxi. As we left the night club, around 3am, they jumped into a taxi with their blokes, told me in no uncertain terms they didn't want me with them, and closed the taxi door on me. I didn't have long to wait for another taxi to turn up and arrived home safely. But that is not the point. Unbelievably one of the girls called me the following day to tell me what a great night they had had when they got back to one of the blokes flats. I slammed the phone down on her and haven't spoken to either of them since.

SuperFlyHigh

Thanks for your response to my post, I can't work out how to tag you!

Sisters, in my experience, are horrible bitches. When my parents split up I stayed with my alcoholic father and my two sisters lived with my mother. We were at opposite ends of the country & I went to a brilliant school and had some fantastic friends. ( we're all still friends even though we're now in our fifties). I was spoilt rotten, allowed to do pretty much what I wanted but my home life was awful.
I eventually had to move back to my mothers because of the alcoholic behaviour & I felt like a cuckoo in the nest. The only person who was kind to me was my stepfather. My sister has never forgiven me for my "disloyalty" even though I was only 9!!
So now I have 4 children and a grandchild and they're my family. And of course my wonderful stepdad, who at 97 can't understand why my toxic sister won't have anything to do with him after my mother died.
Families? Fuck 'em!!!

Tooclever (to tag someone simply add asterisks at each end of name then post!).

Yeah my mum has older and younger half sisters. Her half sisters who are whole sisters (from her dad's second marriage) haven't spoken now for 15 years due to family dispute over their mother and dementia, very long story but involved husband of one sister (M) trying to get father's landlady to give him a huge amount of money to buy them of out their flat (the mother and father) and then parents would live near sister (M) and husband in Suffolk when parents lived in south London. Didn't happen the mother developed dementia/Alzheimer's and went into various homes. Father died in the meantime, huge squabbles over him not making a will, funerals, sister (M) and husband breaking into the flat and taking items... Such a nightmare and went on for ages. Mother was put into various homes and eventually one in Suffolk whilst her other daughter (L) who was always closer to and visited her mother far more often than M , lived in Surrey so very far away from Suffolk. M rarely visited her mother when she lived in home in Suffolk, very near to M's home. Sisters now don't speak at all and never will.

My own sister not so bad as she is a half sister didn't know her as a child and from only 14 or so but she was always bossy, a character and could be unpleasant/pleasant in equal measures, very judgmental etc. I can quite happily say that I'm pleased not to be in her life any more! She has a life most of us would envy, SAHM/W, lives in a big house, no money worries, lots of holidays and spends most of her time at the gym but she's the nastiest, most ignorant piece of shit I've ever come across!

With her sadly it's all about control (which I've done in equal measure) and wanting people to do her will (would make a perfect princess). She seems to forget when we met up and she was a size 18 and I'd buy her clothes!

I do hope karma bites her on the bum at some point! It probably won't!

I've got another story about her! I went to Notting Hill Carnival with her and a few friends (hers and mine), as we were dancing in the carnival lineup behind the floats I had my denim jacket on and inside was a tiny credit card sized purse with the button buttoned over it, I must have been pushed at some point because next thing I knew the purse had gone from there, wasn't drunk or anything.

We went to Notting Hill Police Station and whilst I was there found out the thief had used my debit card to twice purchase items totalling almost £1,000 which took a huge part of my salary (had just got paid as well I think!), of course I was in hysterics and crying as you would. What did my sister do?? She screamed and shouted at me for well over 20-30 minutes for being so stupid and in fact made me more upset! She made such a show of herself that the male police officer had to tell her to be quiet and not shout at me as it was only making me more upset. In the end when we left the carnival later she sort of apologised but I sort of let it slide... (I got the whole amount of money back which was stolen by purchase as police filed a report etc). Looking back I should've seen the signs there and then and either told her off for having a go at me or terminated contact. In my sister's warped mind though (she'd been a police cadet) she probably thought she was doing the right thing by telling me off.

Too that is ridiculous how can your sister blame you as a 9 year old for doing what you did?! Bizarre!

My best friend at the time getting a male friend to ring me and ask me out on a date, pretending to be a boy I'd met at a disco the night before. I was 15 and having been a bit geeky, was just finding myself. I was beyond excited to get the call. Then she rang me and told me it was a joke, and she and her friend laughed down the phone at me. Thing is, she then told everybody at school what she had done as she was so gleeful at her joke and how could I have ever believed anybody would ask me on a date. It knocked my fledging confidence for six.

I rang her mum crying and angry and told her what she had done and she was appalled.

My first valentine card was also from her, pretending to be from somebody else too.

She was so horrible. I don't see her now but hope that karma entered her life. Yes S.O., I'm talking about you, how vile you were.

What a cow bummy.

She will get hers, I promise you.

Years ago me and 2 friends joined a club. The second time we went, we found a notebook belonging to the owner of the club. She'd obviously struggled to remember our names so had made a list. It read:

Friend 1 - smiley, braces
Friend 2 - shy, blonde hair
Tallulah - up herself (crossed out like that)

I have NO idea where she got that impression of me and it stuck with me for a long time. I don't know why I didn't confront her and refuse to go back TBH. I regret not having the balls.

A friend who's now left our workplace started a chat in Facebook messenger with 3 of us, bitching about the management at our workplace.
She then went on to ask 'any news from Miss 'up her own arse?'. Cue laughing faces from one other friend in the group, silence from the other even though she had seen the message.
I said 'to be honest I'm a bit paranoid now that you're talking about me' to which she replied 'oh no, sorry, wrong thread'. Nothing else.

Never did find out whether she was talking about me and after feeling really hurt for a couple of days decided to be even more up my own arse by not caring. Left the group chat so she could bitch about me unhindered if she wanted to. If not me, I'm really not interested in hearing her opinion about somebody else.
She's old enough to know better.

Tallulah Have you thought that maybe the club owner had crossed it out because she realised she'd got the wrong name/girl? Maybe she was thinking of someone else. If she struggled to remember names as you say, this would completely make sense.

Why else would she have crossed it out? If she meant it, she would have left it uncrossed, surely.

My dsis for denying that I'd previously told her that my brother had been abusing me as a child when the police called her for a statement. She painted a picture of a wonderful, happy family life when she knew full well it had been very different. This possibly contributed to the CPS not pursuing a court case.

It was more of a scribble Lolli to make sure that no one saw it. But it was left out on the tables so of course we did. We were the only new ones for weeks and the my friends' descriptions were accurate so I have no doubt it was for me. She was vile tbh. It shook my confidence for years as I was always worrying how I was coming across to people

But thank you for trying to reassure me

I'm sorry you are having a hard time OP.
I go through stages myself.
When I was 16 years old I was raped by a male "friend". He was a year older than me. Always hung round with us younger girls and always seemed dark and mysterious (he was quite gothic which I adored at the time). He told me he was struggling with his mental health and asked if I could go and see him. Once he got me alone that was all he needed. It was horrific. It was my first time.
The police at the time also didn't really believe me as I hadn't reported straight away and it was his word against mine.
Still stings.