...to ask what's the nastiest thing someone's ever said or done to you?

[OohFloorPie]

Feeling a little low tonight, anxiety playing up and ruminating on things that happened long ago. So I thought I'd ask if others are willing to share the nastiest things people have ever said or done to them.

I'll go first. When I was at college I drunkenly admitted that I was attracted to women as well as men and that I thought one of the girls in my group of friends was attractive.

In the cold light of day I expected things to be awkward and apologised, but didn't expect that this group of rather alternative women would turn around and not only shun me, but call me sick, twisted, perverted and start an online harassment campaign against me.

Years later I still feel like I am a terrible person who deserved what happened and still feel awful. Particularly as I've never acted on any attraction I've felt towards women as although I find them attractive, I'm not interested in a same sex relationship and definitely prefer men overall.

What's your worst experience?

Fucked my boyfriend.

The bullying, the abuse, the shunning was all arguably unhappy people subconsciously offloading on me.

But my best friend took her knickers off, and fucked him.

Dontpanicpyke (sorry, I don't know how to tag!) I left the school as soon as I could and was much happier working elsewhere! It was my first teaching post at 22, I assumed the bullying culture in that department was normal

My son made friends with the new boy at school.
His mum didn't bother with him much and he was passed around the family a lot.
We would invite him round to our house to play,he would always say he didn't want to go and could he come back another day,sleep over etc.
He joined groups that my son went to,we would take him and bring him back. We took him on days out and fed him and payed for everything.
This went on for four years and my son was never invited to their house,but we never complained because we were very fond of this child and liked seeing him with a smile on his face.
Teachers and mums at school would comment about this child we always had and what a lovely friendship the boys had.
Some friends would tell me I being taken advantage of.....but I said we don't mind having him and it makes my son happy too having him around.

The boys would play out up the road ,this boy got friendly with an older child. The older child started to bully my son.

This boy sided with the older child and joined in the bullying.
To cut a long story short I received a text from the mother of the child I had been taking care of for 4 years saying she was going to the police because I had threatened her son.
The police never came so I don't know what happened .....

This was a few years ago and I am still bloody discussed with that boy and his whole family,they are the scum of the earth and I hate them.
Strong words I know but I helped out a single mother who would rather be with her druggie boyfriend than with her own child and they have the bloody cheek to tell lies about me.

Hugs to all the lovely people here who have been treated so badly also.

.....Just to add this boy is still hard faced enough to be hanging around.
He and the older boy get up to all sorts of mischief.
The neighbours are fed up with them.
The mother used to drive her child around when the older child wasn't in looking for someone to drop him off with,the neighbours used to say as soon as they saw her car appear they would shout there kids in cos they were not getting lumbered or lied about like I had.

I have very politetly told the neighbours that I don't want to know....

The worst thing I can remember is when my ds (was about 13) did a talent competition along with some friends. We all sat at one table and filled it. When it was ds turn to sing everyone left. I was gutted! He was a great singer but hasn't sung since. Part of me thinks that's what they were hoping for. Bastards! I will never forgive or forget

On the day I returned to work after a horrible miscarriage last year, my manager (who was one of the only people that knew why I had been off and who had form for being particularly nasty to me) bounded into the office announcing another girl's pregnancy for her, looking at me the whole time. The pregnant woman hadn't asked her to tell anybody because my manager ended her exciting news by saying "I hope you don't mind that I've just told everyone that, Preggers, I'm just so excited about having our first team baby". Cow.

MyPeriod

My mum chasing me down stairs and backing me into a corner before repeatedly hitting me over the head, arms, legs, any bit she could get while I was cowered in the corner. She was using a shoe and was breathless when she finally stopped.i was fifteen. I rang my dad and his response was that I probably deserved it. It wasn't a regular occurrence. Two incidents like that but I haven't forgotten it.

Sorry for everything you have all been through

I got sacked because I had a miscarriage.

I had been in a new job for a few months, and as recently as twice in the last month had been taken in a meeting by the MD to tell me how pleased she was with my job, how great and settled I was, it felt like I had been there for years, did I need anything, it goes on. I was completely overqualified for the job, but ever so careful to keep a low profile and happily take on very junior tasks. She seems strangely very enthusiastic about me!

A week later, I called in sick: I hadn't slept having spent the night in hospital with a miscarriage, and was booked for a scan which I wanted to go to and put the whole thing behind. I stupidly told her assistant why when I came back, boss was away. The following day, meeting to let me know they had to let me go as my role didn't exist anymore. It was a complete lie, they kept advertising and employing various replacements, and showing them off on their media page.

Sorry, a bit of long rant for something minor, but I was in such a shock. If she had waited a week to get rid off me, fine, but I was in a really bad place so early, still suffering from contractions, it was such a bitchy thing to do. I did cry when I went back to the office, first time I've ever cried at work.

Dh has had control issues all of our married lives. I finally called the police this year and he is now living elsewhere. He has done nothing but lie since, he changed bank accounts, told me he hadn't, lied to people about his behaviours. His latest is not only to tell the police that I'm financially abusive, but to tell the children he didn't report me to the police. As DS1 was in the house when they arrived, he had trouble getting away with that one. Fortunately children have been put right, but this weekend will see me taking medication which I have so far resisted to treat the PTSD that he has caused and the worry about what happens next. He has Borderline Personality Disorder which I have managed for over 20 years. I have never been this low and if it weren't for my children I may well not be here at all.
This is a man who has been looked after all his life, he has never washed, cooked, shopped, made a packed lunch, done the school run, nothing, nada. If his needs were not met, we knew it, our needs were not relevant to his well being. I hurt, I hurt like hell as I watch him try to manipulate our children who do love him. He will lose them though, if he continues. He may have lost three of the four now anyway which is sad for them and sad for him.

This is a fascinating thread, I'm just stunned at the appalling behaviour of 'friends', family and colleagues. I've got so many stories but not quite as shocking as the ones I've read. I've often wondered if people who get bullied are a type, I get the impression from the posts that you're all decent people who become targets because you (we) expose our vulnerability. My dh says I shouldn't let people walk all over me. Blessings to you op, I believe there are more nice people in the world than nasty.

One of my arsehole exes after an argument made me stand naked in front of a mirror and told me everything he hated about my body and my appearance. Hurt more than the occasional punches ever did. More fool me I only ditched him after he punched one of my friends.
Love and strength to you all

From a girl at my work.

"Oh god, I couldn't be around a gay woman. I'd just be so disgusted all the time, and think they were looking at me, and thinking about me. It would be horrible. People like that shouldn't really go near normal people,"

I then stayed insanely closeted for the next two years out of fear.

From my now ex-girlfriend:

"You know your problem? You won't get a life of your own. Do you really even have any actual friends? No, you don't, and you never will because you don't do anything to deserve them, you just hang around other people like a fucking leach."

There's a reason she's now an ex, and also the reason I am still paranoid about taking from friendships, intruding or putting myself out there in any way.

'Maybe you just shouldn't expect so much of him' , friend talking about my non-verbal 3 year old DS (undergoing ASD assessment) after I was talking about my fears for his future. All I want is for him to be happy and able to live his own life, apparently that's expecting too much .

Mine is a MIL one. Bullied me from the first day I got married. Pointing out younger slimmer women to my husband constantly when we were out. I was a size 12 then but she kept popping in with diets she'd found in magazines - sometimes just posting the articles through the front door. Came round one day with a picture of the cheeky girls so that "Mr Lemondrop can look at beautiful bottoms" Blaming me every time she was unwell as it was me that made her ill. Took over everything she could especially to do with my dd - like bringing 'another birthday cake in case yours doesn't taste nice' so many other things. But the one thing I cannot ever forgive her for was when we moved abroad and my dd was finding it hard to settle, we visited her and she made sure dd saw just about every child she'd ever been to school with before and then sat down with her to write me a letter saying that she wanted to live with Grandma. My dd gave me the letter on the day that we were leaving and I thought I was going to heart attack - she stood behind dd with a look of triumph on her face. I had to take a sobbing dd back to where we were living. DD told me a few years ago that Grandma had coached her with what say and she felt very bad doing it but Grandma had told her that it was the best thing to do. Grandma lives next door to us now after moving out here several years ago. She is very frail and old now but I absolutely hate her. I've never hated anyone in my whole life and I am ok with her and help her out and arrange appointments etc, but everytime I see her bedroom window is open (meaning she is up and about) I feel all the feelings flooding back. Then I feel guilty about it. As often said on MN I had a dh problem as he never stood up for me and just let it go on. I'm still with him but just because I don't want to live on my own really. I have a great job and friends so I'm ok apart from this hatred which can tie me up for days of awful feelings.

After a miscarriage (some 8 years ago) I received a text from a number I didn't know to wish me a Happy Mother's Day with a nasty 'lol' at the end. I wasn't a mum already and only my family and ex-partner (at the times) family knew I had been pregnant and the pregnancy had ended. I still don't know who did it but it either came from someone in my family (a sister was suspected - long story) or my ex.

Cheeky that's bullying, other women don't have to, maybe they want to, maybe they want to get it out there somewhere, that's how I felt. Maybe they're looking for support, someone to say you're not awful. They don't have to reply and you didn't have to write that nasty comment.

CheekyMcgee don't share if you don't want to but no need to kick the Op when she is already down.

I think t can be helpful to say 'this happened, it was horrible, some people are fucking nasty, but I'm ok now'.

No need for snarky comments, people wouldn't have shared if they didn't want to. I feel better for having shared something that I find very difficult to in real life, and pride that I've come a long way since that point in my life. I hope others including the OP have found some positives out of the thread too.

I agree with Wooden tbh. I felt better having written it down really.

cheeky it's an anonymous thread on the Internet. Get over yourself

I had a stalker ex husband who shouted out to a load of ex colleagues that I was a slag. I was mortified but nobody took any notice as he had caused drama before.

I set up a website 16 years ago. I was in competition with a few offering the same . I was trolled viciously (pictures being posted mocking my appearance etc as I was obese at the time) by the competition but I stuck with it - they're all off the radar now.

If you didn't want to contribute you could've just read the jist of this thread and moved on. As usual at least one person has to make the OP feel like shit. I felt better for sharing. It's just a cathartic thing to do. If you don't want to participate then don't judge and move on FFS.

No Cheeky, that wasn't my intention. I found sharing my experience cathartic as it's not something I want to discuss with friends or family lest I get the same reaction again.

Some people here have said the same thing, it's been cathartic to share something they wouldn't have done before. No one needs to share if they don't want to, I'm not holding a gun to their heads.

If you read my op I ask if IABU to ask this. Therefore those who wish to share can, those who don't want to or think IABU can just say so. And a few have said I am probably BU. And that's cool too.

I've been through counselling and support sessions, often in groups, and have overwhelmingly found that if you put a group of people together in a safe space then they do tend to want to share their experiences and support each other. It's not about bringing others down, it's about giving an opportunity to share and say 'me too'.

Some of the responses here, plus other coping methods, have enabled me to see that I don't need to feel bad, this was in the past and yes it's an experience that has shaped who I am today, but it is not who I am today. And I hope that is the case for everyone who has shared here, if not already, then in the future.

to all who have shared here. From the sounds of things we are all lovely people who have had shitty things done to us by others.