To not want Hubby's parents over Christmas morning

[Bananamama1213]

Our children are 3 and 4. Every year since they've been born, hubby's dad and Step-mum invite themselves over at 8am because it fits in with them going to a Christmas swim at the beach (to watch). They live 30 minutes away.

His dad takes over with presents. He will sit down on the floor and help then open them and then open up all the boxes and put things together. I hate it because he pushes me out and I can never enjoy the morning as a family.

They are my children, I believe that it's okay for me as a mother to have the morning with my children.

Last year he brought 2 of his sisters down who me and kids have never met before! (We've been together 8 years). So kids were nervous opening them. It was very overwhelming having 4 extra adults in my front room.

I'm thinking that they can come over later or Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. We go to my family every year as we all live down the same road and have Christmas dinner there. We hadn't seen his mum for two months until today, and his dad we see fortnightly. Whereas my family is so close, we all go to my Aunties on a Saturday for 3-4 hours!

Bit of a mouthful there pizza

I agree Apples. The 'group think' over hubby is childish and pathetic. I say hubby all the time. I don't care what the MN massive have to say about it...bunch of lemmings.

Of course you must see both sides of the family.
Present opening from 7.
Lovely breakfast with ILs from 8-9.
putting pressies together and playing with everything from 9.
Dinner with your family from 2 or whenever.

Well I'm strong and feisty and achingly cool and I use hubby. In fact my husband is under "Hubby" in my phone contacts! So there!

Seriously. When I see remarks like "Please stop saying hubby, it makes me cringe" I can't roll my eyes hard enough. I mean how bloody arrogant can you get? If you tried that in real life people would quite rightly assume you were either in the grip of a delusion that you're queen of the world, or a right wanker.

If you tried that in real life people would quite rightly assume you were either in the grip of a delusion that you're queen of the world, or a right wanker.

I might just try it to see the reaction I get!

Hubby! Hubby! Hubby!

No one's telling me 'what to do'. As if you could.

Nothing wrong with hubby, nice and informal. I like to use shortened versions of words. Though I wonder why no one ever says "hub". I think mumsnetters should start saying it. Hub!

Ah well. Just know...if you use Hubby, you will be judged.

Nobody should say "Hun". Ever. Not even if they're talking about the barbarian hordes the swept over Asia Minor and Europe in the sixth century. Say 'Barbarian Hordes".

YANBU purely based on the fact that they invite themselves over and that last year FIL brought round two people you'd never met.

It's your house. You don't have to let them invite themselves over.

pic

So back the the question in hand.
If your DH wont tell his father to come later on then you will have to. I agree with PP that if you insist on going to your own mums EVERY Xmas day(and I absolutely believe you should esp when your little sisters are so close in age to your own DC, Xmas is all about...and for..kids) then you need to compromise on the ILs coming over to you. Spread the presents out. At 3 and 4 it's all a bit much anyway.

I also like going to my mum and dads for Xmas day but that's cos they serve a full proper Xmas lunch whereas my MIL did buffet or went out for their meal which just isn't the Xmas' I was used to.

You have many, many, many more years of this, and it doesn't matter if they don't show as much interest in your DCs as your family does. They clearly are still interested and keen to visit for at least one special children's day. That's more than some people have inc some posters above. Make it work for all of you.
In our house 'santa' leaves a stocking but he's also quite clumsy and 3 or 4 always fall out along the landing. These are what we open and play with in bed together as a family, Then we open the rest.
My mum and dads presents are opened later at their house and when we had contact with the ILs their presents were opened on Boxing Day.

I put a stop to a houseful of people on Christmas morning a couple of years ago, it's my Christmas as well and I want to be able to watch dd open her presents and to have breakfast and a shower before we go to ex MILs for lunch.

My Mother visits around 10:30 and only stays for an hour or so, she usually has breakfast with us, DD opens her presents and then she goes home for lunch with whoever.

ex PIL have been asked nicely not to come over as we'll see them for lunch and for much of the rest of the day, so there's no need, plus they have several younger DGC to visit if they want to watch present opening. DD opens their presents at their house.

I sound bossy but DD is nearly a teenager, it's time to take a bit of Christmas back for me :) The drama this year will happen when my ex asks to come over and is told no.

Saw this and it made me think of this thread. Substitute Honey for your own choice word

Pictish, nobody is to stone anybody, even if they do say 'hubby'.