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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be kicking up such a fuss

281 replies

Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 17:41

I had arranged to meet a friend this evening, and wasn't planning to get back late, so DH was going to take me to and pick me up from the train station. Train station is less than ten minutes away.

Now he is refusing to. If I want to go out I need to be responsible for myself, which is all very well and good except if he'd said something earlier I could have made arrangements earlier. Now I'm stuck Sad

OP posts:
balence49 · 15/10/2016 18:56

I'd be getting to my friends by any means. And then telling her what a twat he is and using this evening to plan a exit. Has she a spare room?

sophiestew · 15/10/2016 18:56

What do you mean you don't have any money? Were you going to have to ask DH for the money to go out? Do you work?

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 18:57

DH was meant to be giving me some money so I could go out, yes, but now I've annoyed him and so he won't and he won't give me a lift.

OP posts:
JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 18:57

FB post. Ask if anyone is heading into X town where the train is or into the city and you can offer petrol money. It's a Saturday night. People are likely to be going out. Worth a shot.

Rollergirl1 · 15/10/2016 18:58

OP, Have you told your friend you're not going?

What are you hoping from this thread? It's clear that you are not going to go out now. Do you want us to tell you that your DH is being unreasonable? Because if so the answer has been a resounding YES!

So what are you going to do about it?

EuroCarpediem · 15/10/2016 18:58

You are right it is him and I am so sorry you are in this situation.

My ex started his controlling slowly and softly and it built up to a point where my life was one of total misery.

I broke free and my life is incredibly happy now.

Please look in your heart and ask yourself just one question tonight.

Do you want to live the rest of your life like this?

I asked myself that 7 years ago and the answer was no.

diddl · 15/10/2016 18:59

But even if he had told you earlier you still couldn't have magicked up the taxi fare!

And there are no trains back at all tomorrow?

Presumably he started the argument?

thenightsky · 15/10/2016 19:00

Can you post which train station? If it's near me I'll bloody come and run you there!

PatriciaHolm · 15/10/2016 19:01

You are right, the point isn't the night out.

The point is you are married to a controlling fuckwit who seems to make a habit of it.

You'd be better off all round getting rid of him.

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 19:01

If I'm being honest the argument was probably 6 of one half a dozen of the other

OP posts:
JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 19:01

Did you actually want to go?

diddl · 15/10/2016 19:01

Oh, just seen about the money also.

So you are pretty screwed all ways.

You need his permission for a lift, use of car & money?

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 19:01

Aw that's so nice of you nightsky Blush but I wouldn't subject you to that lol

OP posts:
Bathsheba · 15/10/2016 19:04

Invite your friends round to yours. My DH can't think of anything worse that a night in with giggly drunk women

Goingtobeawesome · 15/10/2016 19:06

What did you want from this thread? You'll get lots of support but you won't get any there there it's fine. You'll be okay. He's just having an off day, he'll miss you.

Your husband is a pathetic bully.

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 19:07

I am inclined to agree at the moment

OP posts:
JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 19:08

Why are you in this position that leaves you so vulnerable to his control? Why do you not have access to funds?

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 19:09

I bet your friend won't be surprised.

rumpelstiltskin43 · 15/10/2016 19:10

Dear God, please tell my you don't have children with this controlling fuckwit.

For Christ sake get out now! He's only going to get worse.

Penfold007 · 15/10/2016 19:10

You are in an abusive relationship but you already know that. What do you want to do ?

AnyFucker · 15/10/2016 19:11

You are being abused in several different ways, OP

Wake up

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 19:11

I don't know penfold.

It's so easy to say you are in an abusive relationship but to me it's not, or it is but its normal. I'm not explaining myself very well.
I mean that, I don't really see it objectively so well.

OP posts:
LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 19:13

Of course its normal to you, but it's not ok. You partner is controlling and you are reliant on him for money and transport. That's not a good situation to be in.

RubbishMantra · 15/10/2016 19:14

"But you won't help yourself, you won't do any of the perfectly doable alternative options that will enable you to go out. Instead you're just posting sad faces about not "being able" to go now."

^^ There's a transactional analysis term for this, called the "yes... buts". When a person doesn't actually want a solution, and every attempt to offer one, is met with, "yes... but",

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 19:15

It's because it's not about the night out. I would end up going out with NO money or means to get any and that's not conducive for friendships apart form anything else

OP posts:
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