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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be kicking up such a fuss

281 replies

Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 17:41

I had arranged to meet a friend this evening, and wasn't planning to get back late, so DH was going to take me to and pick me up from the train station. Train station is less than ten minutes away.

Now he is refusing to. If I want to go out I need to be responsible for myself, which is all very well and good except if he'd said something earlier I could have made arrangements earlier. Now I'm stuck Sad

OP posts:
LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 18:24

The OP has said she can't drive.

Happyhippy45 · 15/10/2016 18:24

If I'd just had an argument with my DH after having offered him a lift to and from a night out.....I'd be tempted to withdraw said offer if (IMO) he was being a twat.
Maybe apologise for "the argument" and explain how much you'd like to go out.
If he still doesn't offer you a lift drink hide his booze.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 18:24

Why though Op?

LumpySpacedPrincess · 15/10/2016 18:24

Does he usually sabotage you when you go out? It's very controlling behaviour.

sophiestew · 15/10/2016 18:24

Great idea to just drink tap water, just do that OP, use your drink spends for the taxi.

Surely you deserve better than this arsehole?

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 18:24

Sorry I thought you meant you couldn't actually drive. You bloody well should do if it means you go out.

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 18:25

I honestly don't have options and it's now too late anyway. He's always doing stuff like this and I should learn.

OP posts:
Bambooshoots14 · 15/10/2016 18:26

Drink money for taxi and drink less

redisthenewblack · 15/10/2016 18:26

Invite your mate to yours

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 15/10/2016 18:26

OP just drive. So you have to drink soft drinks, you still get to go out.

If he has form for this, why are you with him?

sophiestew · 15/10/2016 18:26

How is it too late, it's only half past six! How much money did you have for drinks tonight? Surely you weren't going out with less than £20?

I should learn Yes I totally agree. What are you going to do about it?

AnyFucker · 15/10/2016 18:26

Could your friend/friends partner do a big favour and come pick you up then get the train back tomorrow ?

Shame the mean fucker

RandomDent · 15/10/2016 18:26

If you were my friend on a night out I'd pay for your drinks. Get the cab. :)

DinosaursRoar · 15/10/2016 18:27

Op you said you can drive earlier, or have you had a drink now so can't?

I would drive if at all possible, and go out even if it means just drinking soft drinks on the night.

10 minute drive, just how far is the station? Couple of miles would be worth putting your trainers on, sticking heels in your bag and walking just to piss him off that you've gone anyway.

EnoughAlready43 · 15/10/2016 18:27

Yes you know what he's up to.
He clearly wants you at home - where he can keep an eye on you.
Has he stopped you learning to drive?
i think its time you assessed your relationship with him.

AnyFucker · 15/10/2016 18:28

Oh well. Looks like you have given up.

And that you are willing to tolerate living with the mean fucker who treats you like crap. Good luck with that.

Lovewineandchocs · 15/10/2016 18:28

You say you could have made arrangements earlier-what would they have been? Can't you make any of them work now?

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor · 15/10/2016 18:29

You're sounding nearly as childish as him now tbh.

You said earlier you could drive. How come you now can't? Either drive or walk to the station, then save your £10 by eating/drinking less and get a cab back. Simples.

Viviene · 15/10/2016 18:29

Get a taxi and drink water all night long If you have to. Then get a taxi back.

youarenotkiddingme · 15/10/2016 18:30

Do you have separate finances then? You say 'you' can't afford taxi yet he can afford to drink every night?

If he can afford to buy drink there's money there for you to withdraw - and if it's seperate and he's using your lower money to control you I'd say it's a form of financial as well as emotional abuse. Especially if he has form for this.

DinosaursRoar · 15/10/2016 18:32

Op - it's hard to not just give up when faced with someone like this.

If you can't face what it'll take to get out tonight - including explaining what he's like to your friends as to explain why you have no money for drinks, making it all a bit "real" by telling others - then just use tonight as a night to plan.

You can't live somewhere so isolated that you are dependent on lifts, you need to be independent from him.

malika54 · 15/10/2016 18:34

Can you take a bus?
On a more general note, it sounds like really nasty controlling behaviour. You say he's done stuff like that before. I'll be the first to say it, but if it is representative of his behaviour towards you, then LTB.

Madinche1sea · 15/10/2016 18:35

How many drinks do you need? It's not too late! Get a cab there and back and just have a glass of wine. Are you not going because he won't give you any money to go?

AyeAmarok · 15/10/2016 18:36

I honestly don't have options and it's now too late anyway.

You did.

You could have walked.

You could have spent some of your drink money on a taxi instead and drank water if you genuinely didn't have much more than £20 for your night out.

You could have walked one way and taxied the other.

You have passively let this happen.

Then you say he's always doing stuff like this? Because you let him! Nobody can help you if you don't help yourself.

Sorry to be harsh.

Original poster
Notonthetrain · 15/10/2016 18:37

He says I'm childish tooSmile Hmm

Thing is I don't actually know the person I'm going out with all that well. I mean we are friends but not close. And she lives a long way away (we are each about half an hour away from the city but in the opposite direction.)

OP posts: