To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

Me and all of my friends close enough to tell me stuff like this.

Maybe we should start a thread about how many men are too intimidated to walk the streets when it's dark, or even just not busy, for fear of women sexually harassing or assaulting them. I think it might be a quiet one.

Too many to mention them all, I'd be here all day.

A 'friend' who took the opportunity to stick his hands in my bra whilst I was vomiting after getting very drunk when I was about 17. He was looking after me apparently.

Being groped, rubbed up against, flashed at, followed and worse.

And if people think these things only happen in clubs, they are sadly very wrong. My friend's husband groped my breast at a children's birthday party in the early afternoon. We were having a normal conversation about the children and he just did it. It was so surreal and I was so shocked I didn't say anything. I think that's what these men play on though.

Man Pushed me against a wall in the stock room of my Saturday job when I was 15. trapped me, pushed his bits against me & said "this could be classed as harassment if you want" I just froze. He was mid 30s.

Raped by a guy at uni 16 years ago. We were sharing a double bed in my friends flat after a night out & in the morning he climbed on top of me , pulled down my trousers & started to try & penetrate me. I closed my legs & had my hand over my vagina which he removed & held above my head, I said no, no, no & tried to push him off but he was too strong & heavy & I stopped fighting. I just let him get on with it. First night I had met him & I was wearing tracksuit bottoms & a tshirt. Weirdly my other friend was in the bedroom next door with her boyfriend (guy was his friend & that's why he stayed at the flat too) & all I had to do was scream & I didn't. I'm sure in court that would be used against me. I could have stopped it & I didn't. After the rape he suggested we meet up for a drink & go on a date. It made me think I had misunderstood everything & it was my fault for not saying no enough. He is quite well known in the business world with several published books, a training company & TV appearances I sometimes think about contacting him & telling him he did rape me. He may have forgotten but I haven't.

Outside a nightclub a guy hugged me, pinning my arms down sides & kissed me & I couldn't get away because he was holding me. I moved my face left & right to avoid him so it was obvious I didn't want it.

It occurs to me now, that there haven't been any new incidents for a few years. I'm 37. Does this mean I've reached the magic age of invisibility to sexual predators? My new super-power! Do I get a cape or something?!

I remember as a child (in junior school), I was bending down to get something out of my tray, and a boy (my boyfriend) reached between my legs, under my skirt and touched me. I never even realised it was wrong until I was an adult

Oh and my first time was at 14 with a 19 yo(we were not in a relationship) and i know that counts as rape,but im just unable to see it as such.

Yes - btw I'm posting before ice looked at over posts first to express my opinion without others opinions being taken into account.

Yes a number of these situations have happened to me and I think if it's happened once and you've not dealt with it and haven't done assertiveness training it is likely to happen as those types of men pick up your nerves like a dog who knows you are afraid of them.

As a teen I thought all men were likely to be sexually inappropriate- now I don't think that at all, it just seems so often because those types stick out.

I've had men not take no for an answer when I've been in a relationship with them, male 'friends' touch me inappropriately, men quite a bit older coming into me and having my kindness misinterpreted.

Nobody deserves it. Equally men don't deserve to be inappropriately touched. Nobody should feel tainted, low or just plain disrespected- but unfortunately they do.

I think if I were to guess I'd say by the age of 30 around 75% of women have had this happen to them and around 20% of men. But it's all different levels. Some deliberately malicious, some just inappropriate (touching leg of someone you fancy for example).

So sorry to all those who have been victim to an assault or rape.

It fascinates me that fellow women can put their luck at not having been assaulted down to not going near drunk people etc...on a thread where so many experiences have been in every day, mundane places.

I'm pretty thick skinned, and most definitely have a fuck off vibe. But a list of assaults as long as my arm, that I am not afraid to shout about, whatever some posters think it says about me.

10 years ago I was out with friends, we went to a bar and a group of guys were trying it on with us.

One of them spiked my drink, he took me out of the club, telling the bouncer that we were together my friends were drunk and didn't notice. He took me to a graveyard I was absolutely and utterly powerless. He raped me twice, and left me there.

When I came round it was early morning, I didn't have my purse, bag or phone. I had to walk home, I was crying all the way.

I went to a trusted friends house and told her what's happened. She convinced me to phone the police, a police woman did come round, and basically said that because I was drinking I brought it on myself I have never felt so powerless or dirty in my life.

It took a long time, with therapy, antidepressants, to realise that it wasn't my fault.

Sorry that was an essay

Multiple sexual assaults. Two rapes.

I started typing what and where, but can't face it.

I'm now well into middle age and seemingly invisible, it's fucking fantastic.

mum and u2 son. So sorry

I have had harassment and assault, i am 47

Dd was touched inappropriately two years ago and the police were involved. It was a "minor" incident (very light touch on her leg) and one that she doesnt realise was an assault and has probably forgotten

I havent forgotten

Not that middle age is any guarantee of safety, but the crap on the street seems to have stopped.

I suppose I was when I was about 18 but until recently didn't really realise it. It now creeps me out to think of it. Older boyfriend, I was happy to have sex on one occasion but what he did, without asking if it was ok, was not what I consented to and as young as I was I just lay there and let him. It hurt. I avoided him for ages before plucking up the courage to finish with him. To this day I don't suppose he realised what he did was wrong. He probably thought that as I consented to sex, that included anything else he believed sex encompassed.

I've been raped twice, both times while traveling. I've been sexually assaulted more times than I've ever sat down and counted. I could say I'd sit down and count the incidents tonight, but I can't think of anything more depressing.

YANBU. Several of these have happened to me.
Very few people know (and I am not a shy person normally). I just think women don't talk about it.

Lesley you've reminded me of one thing I forgot. I had a Saturday job in a barbers shop when I was 15.

It was awful and the owners having their mates in and sharing beers. The owners kept joking with the customers about me providing a back room service, I was wearing a blazer jacket over a tight top and they told me to take my jacket off because it looked more professional, but actually they were wearing jackets themselves.

They also joked they they'd had a few girls in after Saturday jobs and rated them all out of 10.

I never went back but I'd completely forgotten about it.

YANBU. Many times sadly.

The last one was on a train. I wasn't going to do anything because having your arse grabbed by a random man on a train felt like nothing and normal.

Then I got really angry that I now take sexual assault as part of normal life and reported it to the police. Nothing came of it but I felt better for standing up and saying "I'm fucking sick of this being "the norm" it is not acceptable"

My experiences range from being drug raped, to being groped between the legs, to ass pinching and innapropriate sexual advances from friend's boyfriends. Too many times to count.

I have already started talking to my young daughters about personal space and people not being allowed to touch them in certain ways and speaking up if they don't like something that someone is doing. I will be taking them to a martial arts class as soon as they are old enough.

I am over 50 now so the street/public transport/pub crap has stopped.

I am assertive as all fuck, but lots of these things have also happened to me.

My high school music teacher chased me up the stairs in the music block, whacking my bum with a pair of drumsticks.
It didn't exactly scar me or anything but looking back, I wish I'd reported it.

had this convo Many times with female friends / relatives
Anyone who ive had this convo with has horrible tales to tell
its y my daughters started self defence classes at 4

Yes from unwanted touching as a girl & a certain escape from much worse with the same older man-never reported even though my parents pushed me when they found out he had history & were concerned at my very sudden stopping visiting him & his wife, through to general meat market clubs at uni & pushy men no taking no for an answer. Sad isn't it?