To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

Damage the second bit implies correlation between being pissed and being groped. That it can be prevented by not being so pissed,hence her never experiencing it. And that IS victim blaming.

I have been sexually assaulted. A few times in nightclubs with bum pinching or hands up the skirt. And the worst time at university when I got the night bus on my own back to campus, a man followed me and pushed me up against the door and groped my boobs whilst shoving his tongue down my throat. I managed to push him a little away and screamed my head off, he saw some people coming and ran. I ran into the block, up the stairs to my flat and sat in the dark with my back against the door crying. Yes I was a little drunk, yes I was wearing a low cut top , that didn't mean he had the right to do what he did. I think it is sadly true that most woman will have similar stories or much much worse ones.

I really urge people just to ignore Maddie - don't feed it.

This thread is better than that. It would be shame if it descended into chaos, when this is an important discussion to be had.

Some fuckers on here are causing more damage than they know.

you really are a disgrace. by the way, women can't rape men

No, but as i said upthread, the only time i have been sexually assaulted it was by a female.

I am not defending maddie, just pointing out that sexual assault by a female can,and does happen.

TheDowager.

You're right. I regret swearing at it.

You're right, Dowager

No I've never been subject to any sort of sexual assault

💐 For all on this thread that have had bad Experiences. Reading this does make me a bit worried my baby DD future

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I've been on the Reclaim the Night marches a few times, but not for a couple of years. I was thinking of going this year as a protest against violence against women. Maybe other people are interested?

Frances

I'd like that

I think I've been beeped at / cat called once or maybe twice, max, I think? If that counts as sexual harassment

I've been lucky enough never to have experienced anything remotely resembling sexual assault such as has been described here. I've never been touched or groped or threatened or experienced any of the awful acts I've read about on this thread

I'm very sorry that so many women here have experienced this

www.reclaimthenight.co.uk/

Frances yup, good ideA

reallyanotherone - yes I know, that happened to a female friend of mine. but women legally can't rape men. And M's (not even going to write her user name) post is offensive, ignorant and goady) and she specifically said drunk women and men have sex but only men get charged, why. Like I said it's because women can't rape men. I know they can abuse other women physically and sexually. I would imagine not on the scale that men do to women though.

I've never been subject to a sexual assault. However my sister was raped at 22, she did get a guilty verdict for the man that raped her.

I do worry for my dd (15) future, I've made her a strong girl but I still worry as it can happen to anyone

to you all that have had bad experiences on this thread, it does make sad reading

This thread has made me think about how I address the issue of consent with my sons.

Yes but I find it very difficult to ignore. I really cannot understand why rape is defended. Never mind I believe in Karma

As Yoda says
Oh hundreds of men. Hundreds. Try thousands of women millions worldwide. A murder a day in this country, countless rapes. Your argument is feeble. Think about what you are saying

And I would add to this: rape as a weapon of war and of "honour punishment" - countless thousands of women raped and abused so that men can score points against EACH OTHER.

I read comment after comment on other forums where men are really worried and concerned about the growing trend of women making lots of false rape allegations. Seems it's getting out of control. Women are constantly lying and reporting rape and harassment to be malicious or because they regret sex or are just man hating bitches. Proof is all the FA cases in the news and all the cases that get dropped or don't get to court, to say nothing of all the not guilty verdicts which proove the huge amount of false allegations. Many want all these lying women named, shamed, brought to court and punished. Just like the Ched Evans complainant.

It sounds stupid,but i am less likely now than when younger,and pre child to shout out or give an aggressive reply back if it would happen again...too worried and aware about possible consequences. I am more likely to report it to the police though.

mini that's a rea!ly good post. Thank you

Yes

I have had women grope me on the dance floor without invite.

An ex who wouldn't take no for an answer when I wasn't in the mood for it. Grabing my bits and saying come on.

Two friends girlfriends coming on to me and the wife of an acquaintance in my time.

Feeling harassed by the comments of a group of women when I was in uniform.

And my ex wife trying to coerce me (all be it as an adult) into having sex when I was not wanting it.

I am not exceptional specimen of a man. Just a normal bloke. I would say most blokes has experienced something on the list. It is not just preserve of being a woman.

minifingerz

I have addressed it from really early on with mine, and again as they entered their teens and start drinking. I have been explicit about what consent is and what it isn't. They have been shown the video linked to earlier with the metaphor about tea drinking.

Frances
The thing about wolf whistling and cat calling is that it's about power. They're not individual incidents. So the fact that I've been assaulted in the past means that when this man shouted at me I felt fear. Fear because I know that if he wanted to follow me he could, if he wanted to grab me he could. Fear because I know how powerless it feels to be raped. That to me why wolf whistling is vile.

Wonderful, pertinent post. Thank you. I couldn't put it into words, but you have. The horror of the pain that an assault leaves,

Jean Amery (tortured by the Gestapo) wrote "The man who is tortured, stays tortured."

That awareness of your fragility and vulnerability stays with you always. It can be paralysing.