Invited to a wedding, can't bring DD... :( AIBU to tell her it's her coming too or I won't be there?

[FireplacePick]

DD is only 9 months, she's our only child.

I do often leave DD with my mum (when I'm at work for a couple of hours) and I'm fine with it.

DH can't come to the wedding anyway, as he is working away. It's in a different country (the wedding) but not exactly far, but need to go on a plane. It's my best friend, so I'd rather not miss it, she is like my sister. No children are allowed... it clearly says on the invite. There's a massive apology that babies and small children cannot attend. I'm assume a few teens will be there (she has a lot of family that are about 12+). Of course it's her wedding and she can invite who she likes, but I don't think I'm happy to leave DD with my mum for 4 days and nights... 1) not sure it's fair on my mum 2) I don't particularly want to leave her for that long on her own, as she definitely can't settle properly (at night) without me

I literally feel so sick.

fk3568 I can just imagine the conversation with the boss

"Sorry the project will just have to run late/the deal fall through/lose the client, my wife's friend is getting married"

Not everything can be cancelled/postponed or moved.

If he could have avoided the trip no doubt he would have so that he could attend the wedding himself.

Fire I'm glad it all worked out.

X post Amelia!

This is just ridiculous. The OP's husband may not be able to cancel his business trip. I doubt very much he chose to go at the most inconvenient time possible! As for poor OP's mum being so ill and it somehow not being relevant, words fail me!

And there are still people who cannot be bothered to press control F and see if the OP has updated at all and are still posting 'just don't go'.

Fire, hope you are OK. You did the right thing and got the right outcome. Ignore the unhelpful arseholes on this thread.

the dh could be serving in Afghanistan for all people know! Or on a submarine, or an oil rig etc etc it's not that easy to fly back for your wife to go to a wedding.🙄🙄

Some of you are really really unkind. I don't particularly have a very thick skin and I do take a lot of your comments to offence. My title probably was worded badly, but at no point did I say I was going to demand she comes.

Thank you to some of you though, you've been really lovely and understanding x

Tobefair op, your title says otherwise

You see this is why I get a little bit cross. Some posters get so annoyed when they feel guests are behaving like 'entitled brats'. Why is only one side 'entitled' to anything? The Bride/Groom are entitled (apparently) to expect the guests to shell out for flights, accommodation, clothes, a gift etc etc, but woe betide any guest who queries the arrangements or, God forbid, has the nerve to voice their concerns about their own logistical problems. They are also entitled, it seems, to expect guests to spend the equivalent cost of a family holiday and to use valuable annual leave, all the while being reminded that 'it's not about them' and that it's the happy couple's special day.

Gosh, this post has really brought out the arseholes. Unbelievable how rude and unpleasant people can be on here sometimes. Glad to hear you are able to take DD. Go and have fun :-)

I invited a couple to my evening do - held separately and at a different venue. They asked if they could bring their children. Of course I said, and never thought any more about it. Sometimes asking the bride isn't the big deal people think.

Phew, all good then! Enjoy the wedding. Maybe use the occasion to buy a stupidly expensive but oh-so-cute romper for dd.

Jassy I may well get projecting a bit . The point I was trying (and clearly failed) to make was that the OP decided her wishes were paramount which is what is happening with my DN.

Except she didn't, as her updates have made abundantly clear. Shebrang her friend, said 'hey, sorry, I won't be able to come because childcare' as is abundantly reasonable to do. I think her thread title was unfortunate as it's very open to interpretation but the rest of her posts are clear. There is a huge gulf between what the OP has done and what's happened in your case, which sounds really shitty.

The OP was clearly determined to get her own way

Another puzzling quote. I can't see any evidence to back it up.

I hope you have a lovely time OP.

Great news OP.

I've been to 'no children' weddings where there have been a few exceptions for close family and friends, I don't think this is unusual.

Perhaps bad form of the bride-to-be not to make it totally clear to the OP that her baby was invited before the invites went out but no doubt she's got a million other things to worry about and just a simple case of misunderstanding.

Most childfree weddings accept babies anyway, because it is so unusual to leave babies for long. If breastfed, it is often impossible.

I'm glad it's all sorted. It's so much easier to have a conversation than fret for ages! Have a great time op.

Great news. And a very satisfying two fingers to all the posters who've been utterly bloody to you. Have a lovely time.

Awh glad it all worked out OP. Hope you have a good time