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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

540 replies

RestlessTraveller · 10/10/2016 12:32

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

OP posts:
Landoni112 · 10/10/2016 12:35

YANBU no way! No guilt, none of what happened was your fault. The mother was being a bitch.

GameOldBirdz · 10/10/2016 12:35

YANBU. You definitely shouldn't have paid. If her brat child is going to chuck his toys around, they're going to get damaged somehow.

I actually think you were remarkably restrained when the kid kicked out at your dog.

myownprivateidaho · 10/10/2016 12:36

Yes, I'm afraid I think you should have paid. Obviously the dog was wound up by the child, but if you take it out then you have to expect that stuff like that is going to happen to wind it up. It's one of the dangers of going out among the general public and IMO it doesn't change the general rule that if your dog destroys others' property, you have to pay for it.

UpWithPup · 10/10/2016 12:36

I think YANBU. What a pain in the butt mother!

Floralnomad · 10/10/2016 12:37

If it were my dog I would have offered to pay , but if it were my dog I wouldn't have put him in that situation in the first place , I can't see how it could have ripped the head off a toy that quickly that you couldn't have intervened and I say that as the owner of a dog that would rip the head off things .

myownprivateidaho · 10/10/2016 12:37

Also, why were you "dying of embarrassment" if you didn't think your dog had done anything wrong? Sounds like you didn't pay more because of the woman's hurtful comment.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/10/2016 12:37

YANBU, why should you pay? You were far more restrained than I would have been if someone kicked my dog.

Joolsy · 10/10/2016 12:37

YANBU I don't think. I would have done the same. They obviously don't understand dogs. There are plenty of dogs that might scare a child as they are 'excitable' - it doesn't make them vicious. He shouldn't have thrown the toy in the first place and the mother should have understood that

jumpjumpformylove · 10/10/2016 12:38

No, YANBU and the child sounds like a brat, obviously because the mother thinks it's fine for her child to do as he likes without any retribution.

acasualobserver · 10/10/2016 12:38

dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off.

This made me laugh. It's a pity you didn't get a picture of your dog with the teddy corpse.

ChequeOff · 10/10/2016 12:38

YADNBU. The mother sounds very silly.

VioletBam · 10/10/2016 12:38

Ha ha! YANBU!

AlphaBites · 10/10/2016 12:39

YANBU

If a child of mine had done that, my reaction would have been to tell them "That's what you get for throwing your teddy !" mother of the year nominee right there but mine know how to behave around animals.

Child was being "spirited" read brat and the mother was being a cow. Well done for adopting a rescue dog. You are not at fault at ALL.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 10/10/2016 12:39

She should be grateful it wasnt her child!! Bratty kid!!
Bet the dog was also eager for a nibble!!

Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 10/10/2016 12:39

myownprivateidaho actually the dog wasn't "wound-up" by the child. Having just walked 6 mile he was fast asleep until he was donked on the back of the head by the teddy bear. He just saw it and thought 'chew toy!' He got to it faster than me.

OP posts:
tofutti · 10/10/2016 12:41

YANBU.

Your dog paid the boy back for being a brat. Not the brat's fault, it's the parents' fault but doesn't mean you should be the one to pay for it.

You gave the boy and his mum ample warning.

myownprivateidaho · 10/10/2016 12:42

actually the dog wasn't "wound-up" by the child. Having just walked 6 mile he was fast asleep until he was donked on the back of the head by the teddy bear. He just saw it and thought 'chew toy!' He got to it faster than me.

Ah, ok well that makes things clearer. I was assuming that the fact that the child kicked the dog then had a tantrum etc contributed to why the dog destroyed the toy. But since it didn't then you definitely should have paid! (And the backstory isn't relevant!)

lampygirl · 10/10/2016 12:43

I'd kick the kid if it kicked at my dog quite frankly. I definitely wouldn't pay for it. The parent should be teaching suitable behaviour around animals. It's not like the dog stole the teddy off the child or anything.

myownprivateidaho · 10/10/2016 12:43

Also I'm a bit Hmm about calling a three-year old child a "brat".

Glastonbury · 10/10/2016 12:44

I wouldn't pay. I don't think it's a good idea to sit with a dog outside a café.

MissRabbitIsMyIdol · 10/10/2016 12:44

A dog ripping off a teddy's head isn't vicious, it's what dogs do! She's the one who should be embarrassed, if my child had a tantrum because she wanted to stroke a dog I'd be apologising to you, and kick out at a dog? My child would be matched straight home and I'd offer the teddy up as a treat for the dog.

YANBU.

Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 10/10/2016 12:45

I've always had rescue dogs and there have been a few comments I don't find them 'hurtful' I just appreciate that people don't always like dogs or understand them.

OP posts:
littleprincesssara · 10/10/2016 12:46

YANBU

Her kid tried to kick a sleeping dog as a tantrum for being told not to touch the dog.

Maybe the loss of a teddy will teach Veruca Salt a much-needed lesson, since his mother obviously isn't bothering.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 10/10/2016 12:46

I don't think you should pay. Not your fault the kid threw his bear at it.
If someone had dropped a ten pound note on the ground and your dog had eaten it, that wouldn't have been your fault either.
(not quite sure what point I am trying to make there....)

GameOldBirdz · 10/10/2016 12:47

I don't think it's a good idea to sit with a dog outside a cafe

Confused Really?!