AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

[RestlessTraveller]

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

I'' laughing more at Artcando's comments. Cheered me up no end!

Having a dog at a table where others will be eating And drinking is also not on. Dogs shouldn't be allowed at cafes or restaurants even outside

Don't you think that that's a matter for the cafe owner/manager? Until you become Lord High Dictator of the Universe you may have to accept that not all public spaces are run to your exact preferences.

'Dogs shouldn't be allowed at cafes or restaurants even outside. '

Good grief!!!!!! Art, never ever visit France - you'd never cope - people take their dogs EVERYWHERE - pass the smelling salts!!!

Artandco One of my SILs is a vet. She has never muzzled her current dog, or the one before. It's fine to have your own opinion, but not fine to project it onto 'most' of any group of people.

And this woman didn't have a problem with the dog sitting outside a cafe. She had a problem with the fact that she wanted her child to get to play with it, and was told no. Then her child demonstrated that he also disliked the word no by throwing something at the dog. Sometimes aggressors (or their teddy bears) come off worse. Perhaps certain people should not be allowed in cafes and restaurants, even outside. Sadly, there's not much we can do about that.

art is clearly one of those dog hating people.

It is up to businesses to decide whether they allow dogs on their premises, not a busybody like yourself.

The muzzle statement is patently ridiculous. The only reason I can think a vet would have ever suggested it, is to stop dogs from scavenging, as there have been some cases of people deliberately leaving poisoned meat out for dogs recently.

The gulf between simply not paying for a toy to be replaced and laughing at a dog ripping a child's toy apart is the gulf between reasonable and spiteful.

YANBU at all.

I think you will find that most vets in the uk also think dogs should be muzzled.

Oh art you are just trolling now.

The behaviour leading up to this was awful but separate from the damage to the teddy bear.
If you'd been there and someone had accidentally dropped a toy would you pay for it?
If the child had thrown it but you hadn't had the previous exchange with them, would you have paid for it?
It just reads a bit like awful mum and child behaved badly so when my dog damaged his teddy I refused to pay for it. Which isn't right, I don't think

kondos surely a 3 year-old knows it's spiteful to kick a dog?

I'm not a dog lover but am laughing my head off at this.
The mother is at fault for not having removed her child, and you were right not have paid. I do feel a bit sorry for the child though.

You were restrained. 3 years old is old enough to understand kicking an animal is bad behaviour.

The mother should be mortified not you.

And not having a dog outside a cafe? Fruit loop.

Foxes You're right. If it had been an accident or if none of the previous had taken place I probably would have paid. But I didn't think I should condone this behaviour after I expressly told them that he was excitable and the child tried to kick him.

I don't think it's right to make this about the mum and three year old's behaviour though. Yes, I think we can all agree they were wrong to act as they did (though I don't agree that a three year old is a brat when he has a tantrum). But the point is that if you go out into the world you can't expect others to act perfectly, in fact sometimes they might act terribly. But that doesn't mean that you can lash out against them. And imo if you have a dog, you have a responsibility to make sure the dog behaves perfectly. The dog shouldn't be harming others or their property even if it is provoked. That's not the same thing as saying it's ok to provoke dogs - it's isn't, obviously.

The behaviour leading up to this was awful but separate from the damage to the teddy bear.

Well it isn't if the child threw the toy at the dog deliberately to try to frighten or hurt him. That's an escalation of the behaviour.

Not really. Some 3 year olds who are not familiar with dogs will be mostly curious about them.

They are only just at a point where they have a good understanding of cause and effect and empathy is still emerging and they may not yet have applied that knowledge to animals.

It's a process, some take longer than others. I would never assume malice from a child - that really is likely to be beyond them.

idaho Do you not think that if I bought the child a new toy I would be rewarding his provoking behaviour?

She is responsible for her toddler. You are responsible for your dog. Both behaved badly. Toddler shouldn't be kicking. Dog should not be ripping things up, no matter what.

I think some humans would benefit massively from wearing muzzles.

Hell no YANBU! What did she done when her child tried to kick your dog? That's appalling behaviour!

Do you not think that if I bought the child a new toy I would be rewarding his provoking behaviour?

What a strange way to look at it. The kid's not your responsibility, you don't have to worry about rewarding or punishing him. The dog is your responsibility. If the dog destroys something, IMO you have a responsibility to pay for it, just as much as you would if you destroyed something. It doesn't matter what you think of the person whose property it was. It's just that you can't go round destroying other people's stuff, and neither can your animals.

Kondos I really understand what you are saying, but I think shouting 'nasty dog' and licking is clearly malicious behaviour.

Kicking not licking!

Having a dog at a table where others will be eating And drinking is also not on. Dogs shouldn't be allowed at cafes or restaurants even outside.

What a card.